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Hi my husband and I have only. Been married for three months. We have been together for three and half yrs. we have two daughters and he's been rasing my son. he left me a week ago without a warning when I was asleep. the night before last text I got was love you more than anything want to spend forever with you. last words he said was slide over for md to hold you that's how I feel asleep next morning he left. this is the 7th time he has done this. Only this time his stuff is still here were married my kids are really affected and too he is ignoring me want say a word like me and the kids don't exsist when he was here he always acted like he really loved us sweet loving caring person one of the best people I ever met my best friend I don't understand how he could hurt me so bad and not say a thing only thing I noticed was last few weeks he was worrying seemed depressed some also he was still loving person but different it's killing me bc this time we were in such a good note and happily married just done normal arguments but a lot of good times we wre under a lot of fincial stress I'm not sure what to do not sure what to do or if he will come back this time or even talk to me he has completely shut me out I sent him one message and got no response l know he can be real living and committed he wanted to be a family man like akways then he gets like this wants to go be single turns into someone I don't know how long will this last how long before he even speaks to me and what should I do his stuff is here were married and have this kids I'm. So confused and geartbroke and have a lot of good times with him bc there were a lot I'm scared need advice thanks

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this may be of no help, but i feel for you:
As much as he is having issues, he needs to know that he isn't just playing with his emotions, but yours as well... what he is doing is not going to help you or your kids, and that is going to make it harder for you to be there to support him. I am going through the hardest point in my life, but all i want to do is hold my girlfriend when i have nothing else to hold on to. On the other hand i would make myself a promise if i were you: Explain to him that he has one more chance and if he does it again then its over, but while you guys take this one last chance, try to be as supportive and helpful as you can be towards him.

I know i didnt answer the question, but best of luck
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Hey thanks for the in put I have been reading all about bipolar urs kinda confusing when you don't go through it I would like to give him one more chance if he gets grok but tight now he is not even spesking to me but hard to understand all the love he showed me when were together and how great of a gut he is to just akways run he's been under a lot of stress I guess that triggers it but for the most part I'm confused about the whole situation and what to do bc he's not in Meds and not sure how long it will take him to even regret leaving me I would love to k ow what he's thinking
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My wife is bipolar and I deal with the same. At first when she would leave there was such a void I thought I would die. I invested so much in our relationship and now what? Shes gone again. So I started getting involved in other activities more. I love my wife but cannot allow her to be the complete center of my world because she is going to keep leaving. We need to have lives that are complete enough that when they leave the void is small and manageable for us.
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You wrote this over a year ago so chances are he is back home. I hope for you and your girls he has sought treatment...real treatment. I have been married 13 years to my husband who has Bipolar 1. He has moved in and out 6 times; well, actually, if you count how many times he has moved in and out during this episode it would be eight. I don't think there is anything to advise a person living with a bipolar spouse. If you can run, than you should. I haven't been able to (although I may be getting closer). Their is one positive thing about this all for me which is that I have grown as a person. I have been challenged to the very core of who I am. I've tried to believe that I am blameless in the situation and certainly, when we respond out of sheer shock when our loving, kind and "in-love with us" husband transforms within days to a hateful, spiteful, dangerous dragon, it is a reaction to their actions. And I've justified that until this last time. This last time it has become less about him and more about me. See, his brain is riddled in chaos and confusion. He filters everything that he sees and hears through the egotistical mania. And when I respond how most humans would, it only adds to the chaos and makes me an easy target to blame. I am trying to find my own peace. I am trying to find my identity in who God made me to be and the challenge is to find that place in my soul and rest whether he loves me that day or doesn't. Really the only way they win is if we allow them to take our peace and turn it into as big of a monster as they are being at the time. I do believe there hope. But I know there is no hope at all if they will not commit to medication. I also think a twelve step program would help. Imagine the shame that they go through when they come down and are sitting amongst the ashes of what was a loving wife and children. They sink deeper and deeper into that until their brain kicks in again; until some stressful situation wakes up the dragon.
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Well I am countrychick1982. I cant remember how to get back in lol. Its been almost three yrs now sense I have wrote this. Now after this time me and my husband have been together almost seven yrs. He is gone now again. Last week while outside he vanishes. He didnt talk to me for days. Now hes acting like were best friends when he wants to. And Trying to message every girl around. Not sure if it is for sex attention or trying to get over me find better or what. Bc one girl i couldnt believe sorry but she was way not pretty. And he left his bp meds here. Honestly my life was pretty much hell when he was on meds like it was worse or maybe he wasnt stable on right ones. Bc he was taking on mainly for depression then just got on one was suppose to help with manic or balance him but hadnt been on it a week and like i said he has left both meds here. He is just using drugs. And trying to talk to women. I am so confused bc he was the lovely dovey always telling me he loved me and loved me more than anything five mins away from me he said he missed me like crazy. We wasnt away from each other much we worked together and lived together. He missed me a lot when we were apart. He was a sweet loving man and had lots of love for me and kids like i wrote before. But like something in him snaps and hes a different person. Why is he doing drugs and trying to talk to all this other woman not work. I do not understand and how long should it last.And we just had another great three yrs. But what to do now when the doctor didnt ever have him stable I guess or meds made him even weirder idk. I love this man. When its good its great. i dont want to give up if hes sick. But what should I do for now. Wait and dont really talk to him or wait and be there for him like this and talk to him. Or back off help more. He is not happy where he is now said his friends are driving him crazy and drama there no cable or internet hes bored. Well why wouldnt he just come back home I dont understand but its affecting my self esteem evern more bc I feel it is me. And he is trying to find better. Why does he keep doing this? He done it to his first wife from what I heard. How can he live this way if he really does love me? It is breaking my heart and our three kids. Should I file for divorce or wait? Like most of his stuff is here. But he dont have a car now either I had the only car. Like he has to walk now and sit bored. So why is this worth it? Am I that bad u want to live that way? Ive stoo by him and tried to help him and loved him with every bit of me and still do. Should I move on? I dont know if I want him to think I am just stitting waiting. Like I said should even respond to him or not. Its been 8 days now. I hope yall read and can help Please


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I have been living in this same situation for almost 10 years. It doesn't get any better, therapy, meds, and love will help but only for a short time. It is heartbreaking but we need and deserve better, our children certainly deserve better. It is a hard road but it has to be done, what are our kids learning from this behavior? I'm only 38 and he will be 51 and he acts 17. I'm so disgusted right now and it probably isn't a good time to be replying but I am. I cant tell you howmany times he has left and came back!!! Last summer he left on July 17, 2014 and returned maybe 1-3 times for a night or two then he returned in October for sometime and left 2 days before Thanksgiving and actually stayed away for Thanksgiving (that was a first, always spent major holidays with us). He returned 2 days after Thanksgiving and was a reformed person that wanted help!!! it lasted till June 14, 2015 and he left AGAIN returning on Thursday June 18, 2015 had a good week went camping this past weekend and on Sunday June 28, 2015 he took off again!! His meds were changed about 1.5 months ago and I warned him not to go back on Depakote because he was on it before and it caused him headaches and made him very MEAN, COLD and bitter. He didn't listen and he is now gone with now meds and doing God knows what but I know that my son and I are not living like this anymore and I'm moving on- It will be hard, my heart is heavy and the pain is real but I will get through this and PRAY to GOD for as much guidance and strength as possible!! Best of luck to any and all in this situation but in all honesty if you are in it- GET OUT it is in your BEST interest especially if there are kids involved!!!

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I'm in sort of the same situation. My husband has left me and our kids countless times. I always take him back. But this time I'm not! He has blamed me for the last time. He will start fights with me on purpose, when things are going great. Just to have a reason to leave, so he can have his "freedom". Well now he's getting his freedom.I believe he is scared of stsbility, he didn't have stability growing up. But that's no excuse really because he is grown now with kids. He's not showing my daughters what a real man is And he's not showing our son how a real man should be. I pray for I'm, but this is the last time He will leave us again. I hope and pray for everyone on here to find their peace and God's will for their lives. Our nation is crumbling, we are now being taught that wrong is actually right. Daddy's aren't suppose to leave. But when a man-father keeps leaving his family for no good reason. Throw his stuff out and lock the door. Put the past behind u!
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Omg I went through the same thing...it never gets better yes leave...was with mines 6 years...have three children by him...smh
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Its not about giving him ONE more chance. Bipolar disorder is a constant cycle of this. He can't control it without medication so because he can't control it you can't just state that you will give him one more chance. Bipolar is a sickness. Just like a cold. You can't tell someone who catches a cold that you will give them one more chance to not catch a cold or else you will leave. They will catch a cold and many many more times without their control. Does this make more sense?
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I'm there too.. my husband left 2mos ago after 8yrs of marriage. This was a second time, even tho I feel with most fights he was very close every time. The first time was a year after we got married. But basically, the same story. He won't deal with problems, wont communicate, says he lost the love.. it becomes too much to handle and he runs for the door. No talking or reasoning with him possible. He gives up, but blames me for the reason (what I've done or didn't do to cause him to get there etc). But I'm done and I'm not taking him back anymore if he comes back again. I'm not living my life this way anymore and sure as hell not putting my 6yrs old son through this ever again!!! I am not willing to raise my son into a man that will think that this is what daddy's do, they leave. No and no and no! I am gonna shield my son from this!
Note: my husband is bipolar and off meds for 6yrs. He thinks he's fine.
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I'm going through the same thing with my boys of 14'years. He keeps leaving me and our four son's. It hurts like it's the first time Every time. I want to give up because I feel like he knows I'll take him back that's why it's so easy to do it. Not only does he leave he has to be just overtly nasty to me. Talking about flaws I'm insecure about like it's nothing. I am damaged because of this and I see it's effecting the boys too.
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I'm curious about other people's experiences with the manner in which depressed partners return.

My ex ( who suffers from depression, takes medicine, and sees a therapist) just resurfaced after a four month disappearance, and sent me a casual text as if almost nothing happened. His apology was far too casual, and he never even mentioned that his disappearance was caused by a depressive episode (I'm nearly certain that it was, I could be wrong) - he seemed to expect that the reason for what happened, and even that it happened wouldn't matter. I kept my response to him succinct, he offered his all-too-casual apology, and we have not spoken since; he has not tried to contact me or explain. This was over two weeks ago.

I wonder if others whose partners have left and returned have also returned in a similarly clueless or inconsiderate manner? In a way his attitude has broken my heart a second time.

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You couldn't have explained it any better. I am married to my husband for 6 years now, episodes normally every 2-3 months in the beginning, now that responsibilities are getter more and stress levels higher in all day life, it has became a monthly pattern. He just leaves, myself and our children at home, stays away from home for 3-4 days until he gets sick of abusing alcohol, then returns. Sleeping in the car, not caring for is own personal heighgene in this period. Very remorseful when he gets back home, promises that this wont happen again, just until next time.
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I have been living with this for 12 years - I just realized it was something bigger than just marital problems - - He leaves every few months and wont answer the phone - we have 5 kids
I feel horrible when he is gone - and call constantly begging him to come back.
Usually he blames me or starts a fight so I wouldnt notice it was a manic episode.
Now I know it is him - nothing I do -
It is horrible - it will not change - and he will never accept responsibility or illness is the reason

I wish I had left right from the beginning - it only gets worse - he leaves for longer amount of days and is meaner and meaner\
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