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I'm really not sure if I fit into the category of an alcohol abuser or if I'm really physically alcohol dependent. I do believe the latter is the case though. Last month, early Dec. I went to visit an old psychotherapist of mine (she doesn't specialize in alcoholism, but has prior exper. and knowledge), but my insurance doesn't cover counseling of any kind, which makes it hard because I must pay out of pocket. She recommended that I begin AA right away even if I wanted to just cut back initially as I was afraid what quitting cold turkey would do to my family during the Holidays. I really want help right now, but have no insurance to cover it. I'd like to know if there are free or inexpensive programs for people like me. I'd appreciate any advice. Due to having children and responsibilities, I am reluctant to go into a rehab, even if i could afford that.

Also, I'm not sure if quitting on my own at home is an option for me. like to get some input from others who have been in my situation. Here is a bit about my situation and background. I'm a 33 yr old female with a husband and 2 chidren, 10 and 15. I currently drink every single day and night unless it is one of thiose days I try to cut back and don't have adrink, but the longest I've gone is 2-3 days. A typical day for me if I'm working from home (which is about 3-4 days a week this time of year), if I don't know of anything that requires me to drive, I will begin drinking as early as noon and drink up til close to the time I go to bed. I don't guzzle down a bunch of drinks, but rather slowly drink much of the afternoon and evening. The amount really ranges and I'm not exactly sure as I pour in the alcohol and don't measure it. What I drink depends on what is available at that moment and what I feel like. I drink beer, wine, soda mixed w/vodka, tequila, rum, or whiskey. If I'm really desperate and don't have anything to mix with, I will drink one of these on the rocks. I can tell the time of day w/o looking at the clock because my desire is like clockwork, it starts right before noon. I'm not a morning drinker, although if I am up real early in the AM, I could want a drink by 10:30-11:00. Or if I'm really stressed out I have wanted a drink as early as 9 AM. Only on a few occassions. I don't know when it started to be a routine daily thing. Anywhere from 4-6 years ago. My husband and I are both unsure. I have always drank. Started in my teens when I was partying. I would over drink on occassion and be sick. I recall overdoing it maybe 5 times within the last 7 or 8 years. I mean overdoing it by becoming really ill and on 1 occassion being taken to the hospital by ambulance. Had dexatrim in the AM and stopped taking the pills knowing I'd be drinking that night, but drank on an almost empty stomach 151 rum. Thought I was going to die that night and was very lucky.

Alcohol and also a dependency on pills does run in my family. I wish I could cut back rather than quit because I enjoy it, but have my doubts. i promised myself I would cut back or quit by Jan 2nd and so far I haven't been real successful. I tried recently on by my 2nd night I was nauseaus and to see if it was alcohol related i drank 2-3 oz. of tequila. Nausea subsided and I tried not to drink the next day, but at my mom's they took out beer and I was all done.

It is really hard to believe that I would have serious withdrawal symptoms quitting, but don't know. Does anyone have any advice. I really can't afford rehab nor do I want my children to know. They see me drink all the time, but I say I have a drink or 2 with dinner and that is it. I have recently begun feeling so guilty about it.

Sorry about the long windedness, but any help would be appreciated. Don't know who to turn to.

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It does sound as if you have an alcohol dependancy,especially when you mention the nausea which was relieved by drinking more alcohol.Your dependance may be a mixture of psycological dependance(which I cant comment on,as I know nothing of your background etc) and also a physical addiction-meaning you experience actual physical symptoms without it. The main thing is that you recognise that it is becoming a problem for you and thats a good sign as you can now tackle the issue before it becomes out of control.
Try cutting down bit by bit.Dont completely stop(unless you feel that you have people around you that can deal with this).Stop gradually a litttle less every time(this should ease any physical symptoms).Try to keep yourself away from social situations that may tempt you to drink more,but most of all,tell your family what you are trying to do.Ask for their support-they can do this by not bringing drink to your home etc. If you feel like a drink,do something else instead-take the kids to the park,go to the movies or anything that may divert your attention.
I know this all seems pretty obvious but it may help.I can also leave my e-mail in case you need someone to talk to at anytime.I am a nurse and work in ED.We deal with the effects of alcohol all the time and there is only so much I can do eith my patients to help them.I am also studying for a psycology degree-the reason for this is that my father is a recovering alcoholic. Please do contact me if you feel that you need any support and I will try my best to help.

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Thank you for your input and your willingness to give additional help. I am trying to cut back gradually, but it is difficult to do. Once I have a drink I still have a desire for another and it is hard to stop at 1. I'm going to continue to try. I was trying to go until dinner w/o a drink and figured if i could do that then I may be able to stop at 1 or 2. If I start before 3 or 4:00 it is almost impossible to only have 1. I will give a try.



Thanks again!
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