Alright.
I'm about 1.5-2 weeks late on my period.
I'm nauseous (have vomited), had diarrhea, and have a lot of clear, wet, discharge down there.

I know what you're thinking.
The problem is...I'm a total virgin.
No sexual contact whatsoever.
I've never even been in contact with semen.

So pregnancy is not an option here...

What are the other possibilities? :/
I'm starting to joke around about a second coming here. This is nasty. -_-