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Hi At the age of 18 I was diagnosed with prosatitis which basically means that something as simple as going to the bathroom is very painful. And even worse is having an orgasm is like playing Russian roulette where I've ended up in the hospital because the pain was to much for my regular pain killers to take care of. Because of this I'm now almost 26, I've never had sex or really done anything besides kissing a girl once. In the beginning it was hard to accept but I was able to put a mental block so my sexual desire was basically non existent. But unfortunately I was stupid enough to go out with my friends one night and I met a girl, we started chatting all night an geniuenly had a great time. At first I didn't think it was possible, I'm not saying she is the perfect girl and that there is nothing wrong with her, of course we all have some baggage but she truly is the perfect girl for me. She even asked me out because I've been locked up in my apartment for so long I don't know how to read signals but we've now been out on two dates + we have also just been hanging out both just us and with friends and now I'm starting to get scared. I really like her but how tha hell am I suppose to be able to have a relationship with a girl when I can't even masturbate without there being some risk of pain and a possible hospital visit. Hell I even have more wet dreams per month then masturbation. I know sex is a really important part of a relationship so I honestly don't know what to do here. It also doesn't help that the only girl I've ever kissed was at a party and stopped making out with me when she felt the outline of my erection. She told me I was a bad kisser and that since her ex was 8-9 inches and I was only 5-5.5 it would just be a waste of her time. It had been two weeks since last time she had sex so "I'm in the mood to get f*cked not be a teacher, maybe another time" then she called up her ex and he came to the party and they had loud sex in the bathroom and everyone at the party had heard what she said so it got really awkward and I left. That really messed with my head but now I think I've finally met a girl that I would be comfortable losing my virginity to, but my health problems, penis size and also my inexperience, how can I expect her to just be okay with it. My best case scenario in my head is that I'm able to last 30 seconds and just feel discomfort, and that isn't really how I want my first time to be. I want to for once in my life feel like a man, I want to know what it's like to feel the touch of a woman but I just don't know where to start.


Hi Christian,

First, there is NOTHING wrong with your penis size.  You are AVERAGE.

Second, with all due respect to you, the girl was rude and insensitive.  I'd get bleeped for saying anything harsher.  She's just thinking of herself, being selfish.  Sex is sharing.

Third, you WILL find someone - IF you get outside and look.  Stop staying in the apartment.  Hang out with friends.  Let them know you are looking.  Join some groups, maybe at church, or elsewhere.  The thing is, if you aren't seen then you won't meet anyone.

Finally, EVERYONE has a first time.  You WILL find someone that can help make that an enjoyable experience.  Remember, there is more to love than sex alone.  Don't think just about yourself when you have sex either - focus on HER needs.  Talk to her.  It can help YOU last longer and she'll appreciate that you ASK her what SHE likes and don't ASSUME.

Good luck.



Wow, I'm really glad for you that your first time wasn't with that girl. That sounds awful. 

As for the chronic prostatitis making your life miserable, have you considered exploring natural prostatitis treatment? It's not rare for a guy to to have this story... he tried every medication his allopathic doctor suggested and nothing got better. Then he went to a naturopath and everything got a lot better. 

If it doesn't work, you'll at least have tried. Acupuncture, prostate massage, vitamin supplements, herbs like flower pollen extract and bearberry... all these things are potential options that may help you feel better.