semen and porn

It is entirely normal for males to fantasize about sexual involvement and activities with other males, particularly if their experience with females is limited (or non-existent)..

As a male yourself, your body is exploring your evolving sexual senses, and so the only thing you have to work with is how another boy might feel to you. It's hard to imagine something else when you have no material ("hands-on") experience to work with.

Finding our sexual identity along the full spectrum of human sexuality is a long journey that may never be fully resolved. In other words, our evolving experiences, desires, successes and failures, emotional satisfaction and health all dictate to whom we want to see ourselves being involved -- who we will desire. It's always "in-progress" so to speak.

As for your "hesitant" ejaculate, you may indeed simply not have the full volume to pump out. I wouldn't worry, and by this point, you may already be experiencing fine amounts of cum. If  you truly believe that something is malfunctioning, you really should seek out a specialist, or at least see your family doctor. Don't be embarrassed.

So, whichever way you turn to try to find sexual pleasure and satisfaction, learn, and consider calmly what you feel from those encounters. There are no rules; you MUST be true to who you are at any given point iin your life. Love whom you can, whenever you can, the best you can, and good luck!