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Hey everyone, if someone could help me and give me advice i'd appreciate it. Growing up i was straight. Aroused by women enormously, had crushes on tons of girls in my school, fantasized about them, and attempted to date them. Although i always wanted girlfriends, no one was ever interested in me. I was bullied a lot, being called "gay". I never understood why because i wasn't gay. I started watching porn around 12 and it continued til now. It started with just regular playboys, nude pictures of girls, then straight porn, then around 15 i got into gay porn. It felt weird but continued on and off until i was 17. I then realized, "could i be gay"? I am now 19 and have been worrying nonstop since. It has ruined by ability to live a normal life. I told myself it could be because it was some sort of fetish or something, as just seeing naked pictures of men dont turn me on. I started "nofap" for about a month and within days, my attraction towards woman was stronger than ever. I look up HOCD and it seems as if its what i have. If i abstain from porn, i revert to my pre-porn tastes. I feel great, happy, and feel like myself. But i will have thoughts like "but you cant be straight because you were aroused by gay porn before" so then i will get worrying again, and test myself to naked men and porn until i either get satisfaction that im not gay, or get aroused by gay porn and get real upset and depressed. I tested myself yesterday, and it seems whenever i get aroused by straight porn and women, my attraction towards men doesnt exist. Once i feel bad, and test myself enough, i can get aroused by gay porn, and then i lose all libido and drive. I dont have any desire for relationships with men, i dont want a "boyfriend" i just want reassurance that i am not gay. But then again, maybe i am. I mean. What kind of straight guy gets aroused by gay porn? It pisses me off and makes me feel like i wouldnt care if i didnt wake up tomorrow. Please just give me advice. I just want to live the life i want to live.

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Health Ace
6516 posts

Hey there I don't necissarily think you are gay .... It could be that the porn you watch lowers your libido for "real life" sexual encounters. I would try to refrain from watching porn and see how that goes but I do not think you are gay

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You bet, we are sexual beings. If you are getting mad that is a separate issue. When we see Porn even "Straight" Porn 50% of it is a MANS PENIS so whether you are watching a man and woman, 2 women, or 2 guys getting it off its all the same and you will get aroused any guy does and if they say they do not they ARE LYING. So Kiddo you are NORMAL, don't get in your head so to speak.

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