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Hi I know I have not been married long but I think that within the light of what some spouses should do to help their significant others with their video game addiction.

1. Talk with your spouse calmly and without the games around
2. Elaborate or explain to them how it is affecting you and the family
3. Show them how much they are playing
-Ask questions like: When do you leave for work? When do you get home? When do you start playing your games? How much time do you spend with the kids, pets, and me?
-By asking these questions and laying out a timeline for them they should see how much they are spending on the games.
-They should see that more time is on games then on family
4. Make sure to not judge and understand them
5. Try to come up with ideas to get them out of the house
6. Set times when it is ok for them to play. Like a few hours before bed, or at a certain time at night, by setting times they are able to still do what their responsiblities are but still have the freedom of the game.
7. If these things don't work try to go to a friend or counselor who can help you both with understanding the needs of each of you

I hope these tips help. I know that each person has their own way of going about such things, and that each person is different. But just know that blaming yourself is not the key and blaming him isn't the key either. Try to make sure you both understand each other without yelling or blaming.

If anyone has more ideas or tips please post them. Or post if you have good experiences or what not.
Thank you.

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Hi londroche,
You have some interesting tips here. I agree with you that it is important to talk to your partner and not just judge him for playing games. It is important to find compromise that will work for you and your family.

Can you tell us a little bit about your personal experience?

Regards
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I have been married for 2 years, and my husband is consumed by video games. Every time he would play on his games and wouldn't come hang out with me I kept thinking that it was my fault. That I wasn't good enough or what not. I then realized that he is just consumed by the games. As a result of his consumption he ended up not hanging out with me, not doing his responsibilities around the house and kept saying that things were going to get done or we would go somewhere but it never happened. I realized I had to make him see that what he was doing was affecting our marriage and our life together. Once I sat down with him and explained it to him about how it was hurting me and how we need to change he ended up getting it.
I do agree that each comprises will be different but here I have are some ways that someone can talk with their spouse about their games. The other thing to is to make sure that the spouse follows the boundaries that you have set. If you let them continue to play before their time is up or let them play before you have agreed to then make sure they know how you feel about it. Again when talking to your spouse use the "I" statements: I feel... when you... because... This way when your talking to them your not blaming yourself or them for the actions that are being taken.
I ended up letting my husband walk all over me and play before our agreed time, and then I felt lonely and hurt by what happened. I also ended up blaming him and not using "I" statements. This ended up causing us both to be resentful to not only each other but to the games. I had a hard time talking with my husband about what I wanted because I thought it was selfish for him to spend time with me. I then realized from friends and others that its not selfish and that by expressing how I feel and what I want we both can come up with an agreement that works for both of us. I came up with some of these ideas by doing them towards my husband. Once we understood how each of us felt we were able to then make sure each of our needs were meet.
The thing that I realized and that most people might too is that if you don't take the time to express to your spouse how you feel and what way you think might be best to fix the problem then it may not work.
I am not saying these tips will work for everyone, I know each person is different and not one person has the same situation. I am saying that if people try these tips or want to add more it may be helpful to others out there who need the help.
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I like how you explained the bad approach and a good approach. You made it clear what worked for you and what didn't. I agree with you that it is better to express your feeling without blaming anybody. Just express your emotional state and other person should understand this.

Thank you for this.

All the best
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