suboxone withdrawal sucks

DESPERADO           12-9-2012

Hello and good luck to all you other sufferers of hell on earth. My story began about 12 years ago. I was beaten down by a stranger on the side of the road in which I stopped to offer some help.He beat the living hell out of me . Several broken bones and a severe head injuries which left permanent ringing in my ears. I was put on every pain killer I can imagine.I have a weak addictive personality. Make a long story short after six months I was cut off all opiates. After 3 days of withdrawal, I went to a methadone doctor. He handed me a bottle and said to take three a day for 2 weeks then come back and start down to two, and so on and so forth till he cut me off  Bad situation got very very suicidally sick never attempted just deep dark thoughts. Went to the streets for more by the time I called an ambulance and ended up in the emergency room I was taking 3-4 40 mg bisquits plus 4 10 MG tabs a day to stay normal. they gave me clonadine that had no effect whats so ever. I finally went to a suboxone doctor who looked at me in complete terror as I looked like the walking dead after being out and in severe withdrawal for 6 days. HE IMMEDIATLY gave me 3 -8 mg tablets of suboxone. I felt much much better in a matter of 15 minutes. OH YES this is for me I said to myself. He explained that I would probably be on these for the rest of my life.That kinda scared me. But I felt normal again. so whatever I had to do to keep from feeling the worst I have evr felt in my life I agreed to the hellish thought. after 7 years of 24 MG a day he took me down to 2 per day. well about 4 weeks ago I figured I was sick and tired of taking these and took my last perscription of 87 tablets of the white ones (subsets) I think the call them I took it upon myself to cut myself back to none within a month and a half time.I slowly cut my self slowly back till i was on 1/2 per every 3rd day.BIG BIG BIG mistake .I started the withdrawal symptoms and then started a 3 week drinking binge,which seemed to help with the cravings and withdrawals.Was too drunk to feel any thing. Thanksgiving day ended up with a dwi here in alaska. More bad news now I had a double whammy coming, alcohol and opiate withdrawal while being locked up.Worst two weeks I have ever,ever had. Now out of jail and on an ankle bracelet.Went to see if my doctor would give me more suboxone cause I just know im still going through withdrawals. all the sighns still after 5 weeks ,sweating ,freezing ,shaking absolutly no energy,runny nose, feeling worthless ,stomach cramps, no enjoyment in the things I used to love to do. and worst of all can,t sleep without somekind of valiums or somthing to knock me out. Well my doctor prescibed me naltrixone ,valium and colinapin. Only thing It has done is help me sleep and add a total dry mouth the the rest of my withdrawal symptoms. I don't have the cravings anymore but I really cant stand feeling the way I feel. My whole body shakes like a giant vibrator,that is why I have so many mispellings in this ost.I cannot  hit the right keys as U used to do.

  I litterally begged my doctor for 10 minutes for more suboxone with tears in my eyes,he told me to get out and get on the prescriptions he gave to me.I will go back to him after this weekend ot no way no how go back to work like this. any suggestions would be helpful to try again.I cann