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Hi all, this is my first post here. I was sorting some stuff recently and when I opened one of my son's drawers I found a wet nappy (diaper). I had no idea what to think of this so I asked him about it. He told me that he'd wet his bed a couple of times and had worn a nappy to bed to help. We have a very close relationship but whenever I try to talk to him about it he just closes up and doesn't want to talk about it. Since then I keep finding more of his wet nappies and just don't know what to do now. Any ideas or suggestions would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

Carol x

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Hi Carol

According to some statistics, 1/14 10-year-olds and 1/100 18-year-olds regularly wets the bed, and bedwetting is slightly more common in boys than in girls. Another statistic says 1/75 teenagers in UK wet the bed. So you are not alone

You don't say how old he is, but often bedwetting arises from emotional stress. This could be from bullying (physical or mental) or or difficulties at school. There are counselling agencies around the UK that can help. (I assume you are in the UK-where are you?) The GP should be able to help also.

Some of the issues a boy might have problems with:

  • Coming to terms with puberty (or lack of it)
  • Nocturnal emission embarrassment
  • Penis size concerns - maybe jibes at school
  • Masturbation induced UTI
  • Other UTI
  • Ostricised at school
  • Problems with schoolwork
  • Problems with teachers

You say that you have a close relationship with your son, but do you/can you discuss sexual things with him freely? What about his father?

You might be able to start with suggestions, letting him know you are comfortable discussing various things. Let him know and feel you are/will be non-judgmental.

I hope this is a help for a start.

 

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Thanks for your reply, it's helped me feel a bit better that other people have the same issues. We have discussed personal things in the past so I'm not sure why he's so unwilling to discuss this. It seems a bit odd that he'd go straight to wearing nappies rather than trying something else.
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Dear Carol

It could be a fetish. In which case you will need to be especially sensitive about the subject.

Discussing things in the past generally is different from a specific issue. For instance, talking about masturbation generally is a lot easier than talking about my masturbation!

Have you looked at the 'similar discussions' on this site (below)?

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Hi carol, my name is dianne im Ugandan and i suffered the same problem until i was 16 years of age. i was the only kid in my boarding school that used to wet the bed but it had nothing to do with emotions n stuff. I had wet the bed since i was little and it just never stopped. the only was to help him stop this is if he trains himself to empty his bladder before her goes to bed on a daily and avoid drinking unnecessarily before bed or avoid it at all. it is embarrassing to wet the bed especially when your peers know about it or even family in this case. give him time and let him outgrow it.
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hi I am 12 and i have been wetting the bed sense I was 6 I was wondering how do you stop this I have been trying really hard:'(I don't go on sleepovers ever beacause people would make fun of me and I never go on over night camps at school please help

 

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My husband used to wet the bed til he was 14.
Hang in there YOU will grow out of it.
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Dear Twilight

Your situation is not uncommon. Sometimes it is hereditary.

Some places have Incontinence Clinics that may help.

  1. Where are you from?
  2. Are you male or female?
  3. Do you completely empty your bladder when you urinate?
  4. What do you drink before you go to bed?
  5. Do you masturbate frequently?
  6. Do any others in your family bed-wet?
  7. What do your parents think about it?
  8. Does it happen every night?
  9. Are you under any stress?

Make sure you empty your bladder before you go to bed.

You could try wearing incontinence pads.

Try setting your alarm to go to the toilet in the middle of the night.

I hope this helps as a start.

I wait to hear back from you.

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Please always remember in no way is this your fault you just have a bedwetting problem that is frustrating and can be embarrassing.
I know trying hard not to wet the bed and still waking up wet is difficult but you are doing your best so please don't put to much pressure on yourself.

You will hopefully grow out of your bedwetting problem soon, puberty can often end the bedwetting.
Missing out on sleepovers and camp because of bedwetting is very hard for sure.
Maybe if you have a friend that you know will not tell others you could have him sleepover at your house and let him know about your problem before bedtime.
If you have been to the doctor and everything checks out okay and if there are no emotional problems other than the ones associated with bedwetting you might try working on your sleep habits.

Do not reduce what you drink try to stay away from soft drinks and high sugar drinks.
Drink water and as much as you need.

For me learning to get up during the night was what finally worked.
You could try setting your alarm or have your parents wake you 2 or 3 times during the night to get up and pee.
Some kids are just not able to go the night without peeing so trips to the bathroom to pee have to become part of their routine.

A diaper just helps to contain the pee, an alarm goes off when it is to late and you have already started to wet.

Give the getting up to pee a good try hope this helps best of luck.
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