I was myself a bedwetting teen (nightly from birth to 13) and I finally outgrew from it just before i turned 16. I think the way i was cured was due 1) stop wearing diapers and plastic pants (age 14) and 2 attempts with the enuresis alarm (age 14 = failure, and age 15.5 : it took me 5 months to become totally dry, but already after 2 months the situation was much better : from more 50% wet nites to about 1 nite per week). I Was the eldest my younger brother and sister always found a tricky way to bully me despite our parents repeated requests to them, One of my cousins same age as me also got the problem until age 14.
My second son out of 3 (14) is also suffering from enuresis. He stopped wearing drynites pants 2 or 3 years ago, he is almost dry when he takes desmopressine, but relapse like some few days few after stopping the treatment. My wife and I are supportive, my first son is bullying him. His room is smelling since he doesn't always bring down the wait sheets & PJ's down to the washer. We have arguties with my wife : I don't want her to clean his room , he should do it purely on his own, on her side she doesn't tolerate leak of cleaness in our home. To your opinion is there a good or a better method (close our nose or do the cleaning), and how to convince him that he his fully responsible to take care of this.
Actually very very difficult to talk of bedwetting with him. I remember it was exactly the same for me when my parents started with this subjects...
It's good you are so supportive and understand what your son is going through.
As you know the shame and frustration that goes with bed wetting can be overwhelming at times.
There is a good chance that for him caring his wet sheets and wet PJ's down to the laundry is very embarrassing he may feel rather than the rest of the family seeing him do it that just leaving them in his room is easier.
As far as it being only his responsibility to clean his room and change his bed maybe finding him a clothes hamper that is for wet sheets or even garbage bags that he can tie up to contain the smell might help.
Maybe it would be less stressful for him if someone else could take the wet sheets to the laundry when everyone is at school or work.
Like you said even talking about it is so hard and something any bed wetter tries to avoid.
Hopefully he still has a good mattress cover on his bed so the mattress is not getting wet.
Was he involved in the decision to stop wearing dry nights?
I think even thou it will be difficult and uncomfortable for him maybe you and him could find away to discuss better options for dealing with the cleaning of his room.
Bed wetting is a medical problem and in some ways he just might feel he is being punished for wetting the bed because he has to look after his room by himself.
The last thing anyone that wets the bed needs is to feel more stress and embarrassment about having this problem he no doubt already is so self-conscious about it that it could be making the problem worse.
Hopefully with reassurance that it's not his fault and with trying to find away that keeps his room odor free without embarrassing him further he may be willing to talk about it and tell you what he thinks will work better for you all.