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   my name is kiki i have been trying have a baby with my husband for over a year im 20 years old.i havent tired any doctors yet but my husband say we should i really have been depressed about it everytime i go places i seen familys together and it makes me more sad.sometimes i think something wrong with my body i use be on depo shots a very long time ago but i been off over 2years.i have tired pills and test but nothing works my husband say leave it in gods hands.i read some stories that it took people over ten years to have a baby thats a long time i think i worry myself to much my husband has a son already so why do i tell myself its me.i really want a baby is it foods i eat ?is it that i worry to much?



Hi Kiki,

If it has been more than a year of trying, without success, you should see a fertility specialist for an evaluation.

You can expect a complete physical exam, including blood work.

Your husband should go too.  Just because he has a child does not mean that he can father a child now.  He'll also have a physical exam, blood work, and a sperm count.

One thing, many times couples that have tried and tried without success, then maybe adopt or otherwise "stop trying" often end up getting pregnant.  Stress can affect your fertility, for both of you.

Start off with the exam.  It may be something very simple.

Best of luck!


Just wanted to offer some words of encouragement..My husband & I have been together since we were 13.  I believe that had alot to do with us becoming sexually active so early, we knew we loved each other.  We were having completely unprotected sex, frequently for nearly 3 years before I became pregnant at the age of 17.  Prior to then, I had always had regular periods and never suspected that something may have been wrong with me.  However, we were not trying to become pregnant, but we had started having sex so young that in the beginning it was just us being stupid kids and then we never started using protection because we had gone so long without getting pregnant that we felt like it just wasn't going to happen to us while we were teenagers.  Once I was pregnant, I wondered how we had made it so long without getting pregnant all those unprotected years before, that maybe there was something wrong with me.  Still I didn't have an exam or tests to see what the chances were that I would be able to become pregnant again.  My husband and I were already engaged before I found out I was pregnant and we got married just after graduation, which had been the original plan anyway.  We were in such a hurry to start our life together :)  Even though I was 18 when I had our son, I didn't want to wait long to have a 2nd child.  I wanted our children to be close in age growing up since I was an only child for many years and never felt that close to my brother.  So, at 19, we started to try for a 2nd baby. Month after month, it just didn't happen.  I felt broken, depressed, & distraught. Despite my feelings, I refused to go to a fertility Dr. because I felt like if they told me that something was wrong with one of us, that I would be so caught up in it, I'd have such negative thoughts that I would likely never become pregnant again.  Nearly 3 years after starting to try for baby #2, I had finally decided I would go see a specialist and see if maybe fertility drugs would help us.  However, by now my periods had become very irregular, sometimes I would have one, sometimes I wouldn't, but I had quit even getting excited when I would miss one because I always got the same hopeless result-negative.  The same week I started to think about seeing a specialist, I was actually having a period and vomitting around the clock.  I ended up seeing my regular physician because I was sure my gallbladder had gone bad.  Even though I told them I was on my period, he insisted I do a pregnancy test before he sent me to the hospital.  The nurse came in and sure enough, I was pregnant.  My immediate excitement and surprise was quickly extinguished, because I was bleeding.  They did an ultrasound and the baby they saw was fine, but they were pretty certain I had miscarried an identical twin.  I stayed on bed rest most of the first few months and had a beautiful baby girl 9 mo later. Today, my husband and I are 25 with two beautiful children.  It may have taken us a long time to become pregnant with both of them, but when the time was right God blessed us with them.  I never did get checked out by a fertility Dr. and my tubes have been tied so we aren't going to have more kids, but if it eases your mind I'd recommend you do see a Dr., just don't get discouraged because it may just not be your time.