Hello,am 18 years old and my first time pregnant,am about 8 weeks pregnant.At first when i found out i was prenant i was okay with everything and wanted the baby because my boyfriend was going to be there for me and looked excited to be a dad and have the support,but these past days he hasn't even talked to me i don't know nothing about him,am guessing he just wants to run away from it and looks like hes not going to be there nomore for me or the baby.Am been crying since then that i don't want this baby no more that i can't do it on my own,abortion comes to my mind and i been reading about it but with what i see that you regret it later i don't know if i could,but then i think i wouldnt care.Just to have my life back to how it was and not worrying about this baby and dad of the baby and not being depressed about being pregnant,thats what i would want.So now i don't know what to do!am confused i dont how it is to be a mother or how it feels. i need some advice.
You have my heartfelt sympathy for the decisions you are facing. You also have my empathy because at 18, I faced a similar decisions. Im personally ashamed to admit this, but I decided to abort my child (with a lot of coercion from the fathers mom and the planned parenthood pregnancy counselor- I was referred to them due to my lack of insurance). The day I walked into that clinic was the day my heart died. The procedure itself was very painful but the emotional trauma has never left or lessened. That was 7 years ago. I've attempted suicide over the grief, guilt, and shame. I've been in and out of psychiatric hospitals and I suffer from PTSD from the experience. I miss my baby dearly and I know for me, what I did was murder my baby. Some women never suffer these reprocussions but I have found that most women aren't open to discussing their abortions. I think we fear judgement from others and there is also a component of shame. I was not religious but I still felt the moral sting of this choice.
I cannot stop your decision to abort if that is what you want to do, but I can honestly tell you that it can destroy your life. You may be lucky enough to leave the procedure feeling fine for the rest of your life, but there is the flip side to that coin. And so far I've only met women who regret it.
I hope you find the answers you need in your heart and I hope you weigh these choices very heavily. Only after my abortion did i find out my 8 week old "blob of tissue" had fingers, toes, a heartbeat, measurable brainwaves, and every organ already formed. Only after the abortion did I realize those people were basically telling me I wasn't good enough to be a mother. Only after the abortion did I realize that my baby's life wasn't deemed worth saving and respecting. And this is truly sad. My baby did nothing to deserve that kind of hate.
I want to tell you that I believe in your ability to love and nurture this baby and that you should never underestimate the power of your own strengths. Adoption is also an option if you truly don't want the baby. You can choose the family for your little one and you won't live with the possible trauma of abortion.
You're in my thoughts. May you find the strength you need and come out happy in whatever choice you choose.
As for parenthood, it saved my life. I now have an 18 month old and she is the light of my life. It was another crisis pregnancy (I was homeless and jobless!) but I made the best decision. My life is so enhanced by her life. Children are a blessing and parenthood is the greatest opportunity I've ever had, though I scarcely feel worthy of it.