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I have nowhere and no one i can trust or turn to without them spreading it like wild fire...

I am pregnant, and very happy about it at first, when i broke the news to my husband. He told me that we cannot keep this baby. His reason is that we are financially very unstable and the baby might suffer and hates us for it all together.

I cried a lot and went to the gynae to arrange for a abortion which is 9 Sep... I am thinking about it every min of everyday....

If i keep the baby.. My husband will unwillingly have to accept this baby, if i terminate this pregnancy, i will hate myself forever..

I am torn.

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consider adoption. Many state now allow open adoptions allowing you to see yyour child grow while knowing they are well. Abortion should only be for a last resort imo but this is your choice. Consider all options with ur husband before making a rash dissision that will eat you up on the inside.
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Thank you for your reply Guest

I thought of it, Adoption. I know myself and i will not have the courage and the heart to give baby away...

Even before my abortion, i am already starting to miss and talk to my baby everyday... With the thought of abortion, i am starting to hate this option my husband make me go through.
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Hi honey! First of all a HUGE hug! 2nd you need to go with your heart! Just because you are financially stressed out does not mean that your baby will suffer! It is SUCH a hard call to have or not to have a baby! Due to the fact that you are so distressed about this! I want you to sit your husband down and tell him what you feel in your heart! Children don't HATE their parents for being poor! They HATE their parents when they are abused or neglected! OF course it takes money to raise a child! And there are many ways around it - such as taking in other children etc. You need to tell him just how important this is to you and your heart! I promise you honey, IF you don't get EVEYRTHING out and try and sort this out with your husband, you will ALWAYS resent something! This is a VERY VERY hard place to be in and I can't tell you what to do! BUT what I do know is this, IF you don't tell him everything you feel and see his response, and try to see if there is ANY WAY of having this child, then you will always wonder "What if?!" So talk away and be open and honest and let him be the same! God Bless and I wish you peace of heart and mind! Please let me know how things go! And remember whatever happens you HAVE to do what is best for the majority! Sometimes that comes in the form of sacrifices! Good luck honey!
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please dont take this the wrong way but i dont understand that logic. I cant give my child away yet ill go and terminate the pregnancy. Its silly if u ask me. Again pls consider all the option before termination because i watched a friend slowly die inside after she was forced into one. From your post i feel that if you do this you will slowly wither inside from it. Again talk with your husband and tell him your feelings. Pls consider adoption again it takes less strength. Ive been in both places and it was easier watching my child go to another family then watching one get sucked into a giant valcum!
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Either decision is heartbreaking! And my dearest friend and oldest friend gave up her child - at 16 - and a big part of her died that day! It was AWFUL! And being married and older, there is even a stigma attached to having a baby! Plus IF you are working, you will need time off that is NOT paid - as you don't have the baby! There is a HUGE decision ahead! And when you are talking about a little thing growing, it is VERY VERY hard to make the right choice! You can't let religion, or politics into this! You HAVE to keep it as what is best for EVERYONE right now! And what can you live with, with less damage to your soul! Also the way I see it is like this! When a partner is DEMANDING an abortion etc! He should remember that it takes 2 to tango! And IF he didn't want a baby, he should have worn a condom and put a bow in it and taken EVERY precaution NOT too! I get REALLY T'd off with men who want the fun, but not the consequences! He is a grown man, not some teenage boy, who thinks that doing it the first time you CANT get pregnant! etc. He KNEW the chances! Also what I tell others, I will say to you! "I follow peoples actions, I listen, and see what they are about!" I wonder if you REALLY wanted a baby and didn't know where he stood, and didn't take the precautions to get pregnant! A lot of times women do this, because their need is stronger than their rationele! I am NOT saying you did it on purporse, but I am saying you MIGHT have done it, with the hope that he would accept it! This must be a heartbreaking thing for you, that the man you love is demanding you get rid of something you already love! At the end of the day - if your for or against Pro-Choice - it HAS to be what you can bare and live with for ever! So talk away honey!
'
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i really appreciate your replies, Guest & bambi27

I thought it through last night and hinted to my husband that i m very disturbed with the idea of abortion. I hinted him because after a long day of work and i don't wish he come home having to face a worried and pressurizing wife. But i know sooner i need to talk to him about my concerns.

Maybe over this weekend, i will pour my thoughts and stand on this..

You know, ironically i did a project against abortion about few years ago during my school days, and i was very against the idea all the time. But now, having to find myself even giving it a thought really makes me disappointed with myself.

I need to be strong now, i keep telling myself.

I pray that God will give me the strength and courage to pull through.
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You can NEVER know what another is going through, unless you walk in their shoes! I am Pro- Choice, NOT Pro-Abortion! BUT There are times where that difficult decision NEEDS to be made! In a perfect world, without children becoming pregnant, poverty etc etc etc we would not need Abortions, but that is not to be! So as I stated you NEED to talk with your heart and he too, about IF there is any chance! Because in a case like this there is NO halfway is there!?

Also - not attacking religion here - but I know about 21 women who have had an abortion only about 2 of them were not Catholic!!!!!! So I find it hypocritical of people that stand there in moral judgement, when they DON'T have a clue of the internal hell that woman is going through! There should be more support for ALL! Financial, emtional, physical - but that NEVER happens! As I have said before IF all the people standing outside abortion clinics, would say "Hey, we WILL pay for EVERYTHING your child is going to need for 18 years" then women wouldn't go inside! BUT untill that day Abortion HAS to be an option! So IF this is it! DON'T beat on yourself about it honey! The worst thing that could come out of this is for you to push forward and your husband resent you and the baby! That can be a DANGEROUS situation! And you could loose a husband over it! Thus needing to cover ALL the bases OK?
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im sorry again if ive come across as harsh. Im a child of adoption and know keenly how easy i could not be here. And ive had to walk in both sides of the street watching one child die and another given to a wonderful couple. So i can relate to both parts of this conversation. Ds i am praying for you may god give you wisdom and strength to make the right dissision for you. I do believe that everyone must make a dissision when something like this happens. My wife and i are most likely about to have to do this too. Shes disabled and had a really bad blood clot after the birth of our first child and some of our doctors told her to never get pregnant again. Well we had an accident earlier this month and may have to decide what to do. Its not easy, we have no money shes disabled two children may be too much. But we have faith. We will have god and a really good doctor with us even if the rest are aganst us. In the end i dont know what will happen but i have faith our choice will be the best. Have faith, i hope your husband will look at his selfishness and relize what a putz he seems to be acting like. I hope that after a long talk with you you both make the best dissision for each other. May god bless you.
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:'( To both of you I will pray for you and hope everything works out the way it is supposed too! It is a HORRIBLE decision to make - almost like a no win one really! BUT for the mothers life and the future, THAT is the most important side to be on! A dear friend of mine was 8 weeks pregnant, and the fetus had died, and was actually poisioning her to death! She didn't wan't to have an "Abortion" I told her it is NOT an abortion it is a DNC and it is saving your life, so you can be there for your girls! She was REALLY broken up about it! BUT for her to live, and not be in danger she HAD to do it! So even though this is slightly different to both of your cases, it STILL HAS to be done what is best for you health wise and for the family unit! God bless to both, and my heart breaks for you!
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yes thats a whole nothing thing bambi. Having a d&c after losing a fetus is not a abortion imo. A abortion is terminating a living pregnancy. And unless you r having a serious medical problem, or the pregnancy would be unviable upon deliver i presonally believe you should err on the side of life. But thats my opinion. But yes its a terriblr thing when a pregnancy is lose no matter whats its cause
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