We broke up 2 years ago and im still so DEEPLY inlove with Him

This is ridiculous I know! We were going for 4 months , We fell inlove the first time we got to know each other. this relstioonship was like no other ive ever experienced . 4 months after being together he had to move away we stayed together trying to hold on to what was unbareable. We couldnt take being apart for so long anymore we decided to end it :(. that was in 2010 ..Ever since this had happened Everyday I think about him I cant get him out my head no matter who I date . Because of him all relationships are unsucessful I cant tell any other guy I love them knowing my heart goes out to my ex. He took my heart and hasnt given it back yet

I dont know if im still holding onto him so tightly because of lack of closure but something is causing me to only be focused on wat could be and everyday I wish I could be with him again,

Him and I tlk every now and again. he tells me he still loves me but I know hes seeing other girls and because of this fact i try my hardest to keep a lil distance . I am led into hopes of him coming back to me everytime we talk . i hate putting myself thru it but it jus happens. I cant get over him but im not even sure if i want to. I dont. i jus wana be with him but hes so far.. He visits where i am once in like every 2 years and he dedicates everyday to seeing me . I dont think thats healthy because it jus causes hurt all over again . Maybe the day he tells me he doesnt love me anymore and hes getting married will cause me to be heartbroken for life. he hsa the power to drive me crazy or cause me to lose my mind and im so afraid of that :/  I wanna jus let it go but he was everything I ever wanted :(