Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

Okay so this might be really long. Sorry. So to start off with i will be 20 in April. my and my husbands relationship started when i was 15. it started off completely romantic. every time he spoke he made me Blush. Now i was the "ugly frend","weird friend" "good friend" type. Well so it started off amazing. and then a couple of months went doen the road and we would just have these fights...OUT OF NOWHERE! im not the type to cry, but he sure knew how to push that button. Right in the beginning i always heard girls saying that he was unfaithful. i would talk to him about it in tears and he would comfort me and say that so and so is lying, so and so is a friend of a jealous ex. Well i always believed it. Me and him were in the kitchen and him and his mom were play fighting with the sink and condiments. i dont know how it escalated but i hit him on the arm...not hard enough to hurt at all. it was more like a love tap...well Im walking away and BAM. i felt the hardest strike on the back of my head that it immediately sent tears to my eyes. I dont remember saying anything to him about it. i just thought "oh it was an accident, he didnt mean to hit me that hard. he doesnt know his own strength." well so this went off and on for a while i dont really remember. then it stopped and it was fine again...yeah we had some fights but I thought every couple did.Well so here comes another girl telling me things. i confronted him about it and it turned into something playful. he told me to drop it and i didnt but i was also smiling the entire time. he gets boxing tape and puts tape over my mouth ties my wrists together and then my ankles. STILL i thought "okay, this is like a joke, a game, ill play along" he told me to keep the tape there. well i didnt. He said the tape over my mouth was a bit much and then put my wrists behind my back and taped my wrists and my ankles together. Everytime i tried breaking free it burned my wrists and ankles. if i pulled on my ankles the pain would shoot up my wrist and so forth. He left me on his bed like that for an HOUR. i kept calling for him and no reply. his mom walked by, looked at me and started laughing. i asked her to help and her response was "oh no, this is too funny" and left. well so then he comes back and i dont know if he was trying to prove how strong he was but he picked up the tape that is holding my ankles and wrists together (which already hurt) and put me on the floor. well so my face hit the floor, my mouth started bleeding and i started crying. he said "i needed to learn my lesson" and started crying and telling me how sorry he was. I completely blocked that from my memory until about 2 weeks ago. So im still in love with him...dont know why.we are "sexually experimenting" and when i say this i clearly mean anal. well it hurts and i keep telling him this. he would not slow down or stop but pushed me on the bed climbed on top of me and kept going until he was done. now i tried my very hardest to "fake it" but it was hurting and i was screaming and crying and when he finished he said "i didnt know it was hurting you that bad" and apologized nemerous times and then started crying.what did i do...i let it go. i took a hot bath and let it go.

we are constantly fighting at this point about girls telling me all this stuff...and the same reason "oh baby they just dont like me...they dont want us together...they"re jealous of you" so of course i drop the conversation because i didnt want to fight. Now I have graduated HS and have moved in with him and his parents. a fight broke out where he bashed my head against the wall and punched me in the head and when i tried to hurt him just as bad as he hurt me and strike him he would do it again. NOW i have figured out he will hit me on the side or back of the head because i have such thick thick hair that nobody would see if there was swelling or bleeding and it wasnt on my body that could leave a bruise. days later we are arguing again. well so he brought up my past...which had nothing to do with anything and i told him over and over again not to. and so i slapped him. well he then started yelling in my face..ive never seen him this mad. he gets up is still yelling punches a hole in the door then grabs my ankles pulls me, climbs on top of me so we are not even inches away from my face and is STILL yelling. by this point i am scared out of my mind and i just start bawling like a baby. then he starts crying again and tells me how much he loves me and that he"ll never act that way again.

So a couple weeks later im in the bathroom taking a bath and him and his mom are verbally fighting...this is not new to me. It runs my blood cold the way he treats his mom. Well so then i hear his mom say "Get away from me, i dont like you that close to me. i meant get away from me." and im paralyzed just listening and then she yells "get your hands off of me" so thats when i jump out of the bathroom and see whats going on. he is holding her shoulders and in her face yelling. once he sees me, he lets go. then tries to explain to me why he did it and that his mom was in the wrong and lying and all this stuff. I have had many conversations with him saying he needs to treat his momma way better than he does but he never listens. (BTW if they fight he ALWAYS drags me into it saying that i say this and i say that. when i DIDNT SAY A DAMN THING) so lying to his mother is completely easy for him to do. well months later im pregnant and hes talking about adoption or abortion. and it is SO EASY for him to talk about it. i tell my mom, shes calm about it...he is not there when i tell her. then i have to tell his mom and i tell her all ALONE, he then gets mad at ME for telling her when i should be mad at HIM for making me tell her all by myself. well that night he runs and tells all his friends and family. I GET SO MAD. so we get into a fight and at this point we are living in the unfinished basement. well i throw my engagement ring at him and walk out "trying" to slam the door behind me. the door hinge is broken. so im crying because im just so hurt by all that happened that day and go back to close the door. he jumps up off his game runs up and shoves me. i trip over a pile of clothes lose footing and grab onto the dresser so i dont bust my head on the cement floor. and he is still pushing me telling me that everything is my fault always my fault and all i ever do is try to make him look bad when its not him at all but me. how hes perfect. i am just crying my eyes out. i cant breathe. i cant speak. and there is just this horrible,disgusted look in his eyes. he yells at me to come back to the bedroom and i tell him no. his mom is stomping on the floor. he goes back to his game and i go upstairs crying my eyes out to her telling her he pushed me and all the horrible stuff he said...she does not even flinch but is just staring at the tv and says well, you'll make up. i realized it was pointless and call my mom crying and she is just shocked out of her mind. because i never told her that he was abusive. she tells me that if anything like that happens again to tell her and she"ll get me. (ALSO i dont have a car. i dont have a license.He likes to know where im at at all times. and so im not allowed to go anywhere without him) 

SO now im starting to show and feel kicks and i remember having to constantly FORCE his hand on my belly in order for him to feel our daughter kick. say"can you feel that" with my face just lit up as ever he"ll yank his hand away and say yeah can i watch tv now..or can i play my game now...or can we just watch this movie. THis broke my heart...i know that a man doesnt love his child near as much as the mother does...but still. SO now im hugely pregnant and im cleaning and bending over giving him stuff because he makes me get them. he leaves his steel toe boots laying around in the middle of the doorway or my side of the bed and i trip over them constantly, scared out of my mind that im going to fall and miscarry. asking him repeatedly to put them where they belong and he never did. 

we're married, the physical abuse stopped but he still controlled what i did and who i was with. We had a fight because i wouldnt let him come to my baby shower.... he would start fights over nothing. He always had to be right and would go the distance to prove it. we have a baby on the way and instead of saving money for diapers and wipes and things we need hes buying $70 video games and buying himself clothes when he has a whole closet and dresser full while i am using two dresser drawers from an armoire. he cant keep a job, jumping from one to the other. well so im 36 weeks pregnant and him and this girl are texting back and forth for about two weeks; this bothers me. i say something to him about it....and shockingly without an argument or fight...he stops, deletes her #, fb, everything. somehow she got my number. i wake up with a text saying hes cheating...hes at work. she is telling me all this "disgusting sexting" they have had and that he sent her money (shes in fl) and that he was going to pick her up from the air port and they were going to get a hotel and she told me everything they apparently planned on doing and also that he is a sick pervert and i dont need to trust him with my baby girl. so he calls me and tells me that she is like in love with him and that he DID send her money but he was going to leave her at the airport to show that homewrecker a lesson. then he says i really hope u trust me and not this stranger. and so of course what do i do. i tell that i do. im in the hospital for 3 days. he goy 4 days off of work to help out with the baby. he slept the ENTIRE TIME i was in hospital. my moma nd cousin were also in the room helping get thru contractions. I had her. i also tore in 3 places so it extrmely painful to even sit up. my water broke when i was crowning so she swallowed it...i didnt get to hold her for an hur and half and while im waiting on my baby girl to be given to me and getting stitched up hes bringing ppl in the room! then when they move us to my resting room. he was on his ipad and slept the rest of the 3 days we were there. then going home when he was out of work for 4 das. HE DID NOTHING. and its hard enough dealing with a newborn and trying to breastfeed with a screaming baby that hasnt eaten in 3 days and wont latch on. he complained when she cried because HE wasnt getting any sleep and told me to just stick my finger in her mouth and that will get her to stop crying. wtf logic?? so my baby doll is now 6 months old....feels literally like yesterday. and he will not hold her for longer than 10 minutes even if i want to take a bath he comes in there with her. when i bathe her he complains when he has to get a TOWEL! even when shes not crying he will not do anything associated with her. i have to make him change a diaper, to rock her to sleep so i can get a nap. she is very nosey when she fights sleep she likes to look around and move all which way. he was trying to rock her to sleep and she kept moving her head from one shoulder to the other he got frustrated and made her keep her head still while holding down her arms and legs she starts crying and idk if its because shes just tired or if he is hurting her. he then yells at her for crying...she is a baby that is going to be her only way of communication. thanksgiving i was holding her...her diaper leaked and it got ALL over my pants...well naturally i didnt bring another pair. she barely spit up on him same day10 minutes later and he goes and changes shirts. 

we are seperated now because i just couldnt do it anymore. there were a ton of other fights but i feel ive already made this extremely long. we have been seperated for 3 weeks and he is repeatedly trash talking me behind my back to my friends yet trying to get back together with me the next. i asked him if he wanted to see his daughter this weekend he then accused me of cheating...which turned into another fight. i asked him AGAIN today and his response was "idk. ill think about it" and is now blaming me for us separating even though i told him how badly i wanted it to work but that he had to treat me better. but no matter what i do its still my fault. he told me from breaking up our family im f*****g up my daughters life. the physical abuse hasnt happened in exactly a year but it still hurts. no again there was never any bruises any blood or scarring except for when he dropped me on my mouth but i still feel like it was all my fault and maybe if i had let it go or never even opened my mouth none of it would have ever happened.

Loading...

Well, lemme tell you woman... when you're in any kind of abuse relationship, it's a vicious cycle that may leave you scarred for life. Best advice is FIND THE COURAGE & STRENGTH WITHIN YOU AND GET FAR FAR AWAY FROM THE SICKKK COWARD NOW!!! I'M MOST CERTAIN THAT YOUR (ex)HUSBAND WAS SEXUALLY ASSUALTED IN HIS JUVENILE/PRE-TEEN YEARS. HE MAY HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSUALTED EXACTLY LIKE WHAT HE DID TO YOU (as u described)
Reply

Loading...

I totally understand how you feel and what u are going through! I am right now in the exact same situation except I'm still with my husband and 3 months pregnant. He is like a light switch one minute he loves me and the next he's cussing at me and putting hands on me in front of our other 2 children. He constantly belittles me and I'm constantly depressed we live in my parents house and he refuses to leave I sleep in living room cuz I'm just scared of him and miserable I'm gla u got out of it and I hope u stay strong as I'm sure one day I will as well
Reply

Loading...

Please girls, whatever u do or feel at this moment... take ur kids and RUN, RUN, RUN AWAY!!!! dont think he will change, dosnt matter if u love him or not, no one have deserve to be treated like this... im going throu a similar situation, all i want is to take my son away from it, i dont want him to see this all, its so not fair :( im on my way out of this hell girls, wish me luck ;) xxx god bless you all. Best wishes girls xxx
Reply

Loading...


I think you should go to the Steve Wilkos show to relieve your pain maybe, you don't have to.
Reply

Loading...