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I'm forteen and gay I lost my virginity a month ago and I'm fine about it doesn't need any justiforcation I'm happy with who I am I broke up with them the week after not because of that I just didn't like him and I don't feel like sex is that special just something you do to show people what they mean to you and how you feel like a card or a text just more sweaty you may not agree with me but you can't feel bad about doing something like that that is something to be ashamed of not having sex be who you are bruises and all
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i had this friend, she lost her virginity at 13. she started drinking and sneaking out. She was a force to be reckoned with, crazy, but not yet off the charts. we became best friends in early 8th grade, and by October i was sending nudes photos because it made me seem cool to her. My name was getting around a little, but not like hers was. She lost her virginity in November that year. I started not to care what other people thought because I had this best friend who thought I was so cool. In December I decided to stop sending nudes, by January I smoked weed for the first time. By February I did it three times, and in late February I went over to my friend's house. This guy was her neighbor, and he was so interested in my best friend. So we were hanging out with him and we all three go back to his place. His parents were out. We abt had a three some until my friend confessed she had already had sex two times that week so she was "hurting" I hadn't gone through with it yet. Honestly I just did it to win her over. An hour later I felt terrible. It hit me what I had done. I couldn't tell anyone. No one knew. Only this friend and the guy. I later found out the guy I had lunch w/ my brother at the high school. I was so scared he had told him. Also after I had done it, I retracted from my friend. I felt torn. I blamed her some. I blamed myself the most. I couldn't talk to anyone. I still can't talk to anyone about it. I feel like I'm living a lie. My friend went and told everyone and I denied it so hard. I had always been this girl who people looked up to. so no one really believed it. I was good at lying too. That's why no one ever knew how bad I was hurting, how bad I was drowning. I was sinking, and no one noticed. I'm realizing right now I'm talking in past tense. I still feel guilt for it and shame, but I've never talked about it like this. It's sorta a relief. I was so lost and depressed. So numb. It got to the point where I felt nothing at all but everything at the same time. I'm still recovering and trying to run away from the past. I'm just taking it one day at a time.
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