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Hello I'm a 17 year old girl, I have two little girls oldest is 19months youngest is 8months and I am 12weeks pregnant with my 3rd, ok so that's the basic info. My partner is 24years old and has a severe addiction to weed, he is the nicest person when he has it but when he hasn't he gets really aggressive and violent towards me, I have bad depression due to a really bad past anyway but he sits there and says I'm a fat ugly c**t, he says I'm a bad mum and would be better off dead I'm sooo useless I'm no good to anyone he wishes he never met me ect.......... And then comes the violence it all started after we had our first baby when I was 15 and he was 22, everything was fine until I got pregnant again he would come home from work and smack me round the back of my head and call me stuff nd say I'm always in me way nd throw stuff at me he broke my nose nd gave me several black eyes when I was 6months pregnant with number two, nd when I became pregnant with my third 12weeks ago he has kick me in the stomach twice he pulls me about by my hair, he grabs my face and squeezes so it bruise me just last week he bit me on my shoulder and drew blood, I just dont know what to do anymore I feel so low, but I just can't stop loving him he's got some sort of hold over me I dont have any friends anymore I'm not aloud out without him please HELP I need advice quick :(!!

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Hey Lucyb95,

My quick advice- GET OUT NOW. Contact your local women's refuge and get the hell out of the situation. You are risking your life and your children's life by staying- get as much as you can carry and leave. Where are you? Can you Google for women's refuges nearby and contact them? They may even be able to arrange someone to pick you up. Also call the police- what he is doing is assault and he can be prosecuted for it.

One thing is for certain- you have to get out of there and if you have any self-respect for yourself and love for your children- you will move your a*se and get as far away from him as possible.

 

And please don't answer this with "But I love him". This excuse of love is a crock of sh*t! Do you think he loves you? Does someone who loves you bite you, break your nose and batter you? Does that person try to kill the life inside of you? You have to make a choice- you and the kids or him. Who do you love more? Your kids- who are irreplacable- or a man- who is not?

You are 17 years old and you have every chance to start again and live a happy, fulfilling life with your children. If you stay with this man because he has some silly, pathetic 'hold' over you, then you have no chance of a good life.

You're a woman now, so act like one and take your future and the future of your children in to your own hands and stop using childish excuses of 'love' and invisible power to excuse staying with him. This is 2013- there are places you can go to, to get help and you do not have to live in your situation.

In this instance, you have a decission to make. What is greater- your fears or the lives of you and your children? Fear can be overcome- death can't be.

 

My BIGGEST wishes go out to you and I really hope you gain the courage to get out as soon as possible.

 

V

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its very unfortunate that you have to go through this. You have enough stress trying to raise your kids at such a young age. If you care anything about yourself and your children you would get away and start a better life for your kids. Its hard to leave, but your being subjected to physical abuse and your pregnant. He could hit you one day and kill you depending on where you got hit. Did you ever stop to think about that? If this happened, Where will your kids go? They would never see their mom again.You don't want your kids to grow up and think its ok to be abusive. This is not only your life anymore, you and your kids should be your main priority. If you want to make it to see your kids grow up healthy and safe, your best solution is to leave. This is a very dangerous environment and no one deserves to live that way. Your a STRONG person to ask for help in your situation. Please to save you and your kids life and get help through the state. They can help you get your own apartment, you can find a job and be happy again. You are already suffering from depression, this is NOT A SAFE SITUATION YOUR IN. Please leave!!! You can go to the police station and they can help you get into a domestic violence shelter, and they can help you get back on your feet. You stay strong and make the best choices for you and your kids life. Take care!
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I was 19 and pregnant with my second child. My husband was a drunk and beat me every chance he got, even when I was pregnant with my third (which did not survive ) I had no one to help me or who cared to help me. I am almost 60 years old now and let me help you........GET OUT NOW !!!!!!!! There are many organizations and churches and people who would put their hand out to help you up. Where do you live ? I'm in CT, you AND your children can come here. LEAVE NOW because the next time he could kill you. F***k him, he is a LOOSER. Any man that would lay a hand on a woman is a p***y. I'm married now,after many long years of struggling with MY loser...............my husband is the best thing since I can remember. GET OUT! You don't love him, you fear no one will love you and he knows that and that S.O.B. needs a beatin' by a man who is a man

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My advice is to get out of the relationship! Fight for your kids but not physically! It's not safe for YOUR KIDS and you!! He is capable of killing you and them apparently. With everything you're saying you should be having him arrested. You're 17 and basically 3 kids! You should be responsible enough to get out! Get some help. Go to your parents, the police, or a womens shelter! Don't be afraid a lot of women go through this everyday!
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You are looking for future danger not only to yourself but also your children.His addiction is your addiction also because of this "hold" over you.Your kids see this violence,what will be imprinted on their minds and in their memories?My advice to you is GET OUT ASAP.You say you don't have any friends anymore.Betcha there is at least one who will help,has been wanting to help but needed for you to take that 1st step and ask for it.Get yourself and your children out of harms way.Last word:he values his addiction more than he values you and your children.Good luck.
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