My wife and I have been together for a over two years, and she has experienced a low sex drive for the past couple years that we have been together. In the beginning of our relationship, she had just begun taking Lexapro, and we both had very good sex drives. In the early stage of our relationship, we agreed sex is very important in a relationship/ marriage. She said that she has a good sex drive, and needless to say, I was delighted. A few months later, her sex drive diminished while my stayed the same. She had difficulty reaching orgasm, and later said she did not want to have sex anymore. After about five months of being on Lexapro, she spoke with her doctor, and agreed that she does not need the Lexapro, because she has found better ways to deal with anxiety, and also did not like the other side effects (fatigue and weight gain). It took about 7 months for her to taper off the drug, and she never recovered a sex drive. After we were married in May 2008, we began having sex again, but she was still not into it. She rushed me along, and only had sex while ovulating. Later she admitted she just wanted to get pregnant, and was not interested in sex. The baby was born recently, and I understand sex is out of the question for a little while, but I would still like to deal with this.
I love my wife very much, and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I think we are great together, but this issue drives me nuts. I am very satisfied with all other aspects of our relationship, and we have great communication, but this subject is difficult to talk about. I am losing patience, and I feel building resentment towards her sometimes. Am I being selfish? When I try to speak with her, she gets very defensive, and just makes it more difficult to talk about. She says it has nothing to do with me, and she does not want to have sex with anyone. Feels it is more of a chore, rather than something to be enjoyed. She says that she will have sex with me, but that more like pity sex, and is not really enjoyed by any of us. She is only 25 and I am 26. Is there a way to help recover my wife's sex drive?
During one of our arguments, she somewhat agreed to seek counseling for this issue. I have a feeling when I try to schedule one, she will try to put it off. I notice that she tries to devalue the importance of sex, and that really discourages me. I think she does not want to admit to herself how much it bothers me despite our conversations.
I love my wife very much, and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I think we are great together, but this issue drives me nuts. I am very satisfied with all other aspects of our relationship, and we have great communication, but this subject is difficult to talk about. I am losing patience, and I feel building resentment towards her sometimes. Am I being selfish? When I try to speak with her, she gets very defensive, and just makes it more difficult to talk about. She says it has nothing to do with me, and she does not want to have sex with anyone. Feels it is more of a chore, rather than something to be enjoyed. She says that she will have sex with me, but that more like pity sex, and is not really enjoyed by any of us. She is only 25 and I am 26. Is there a way to help recover my wife's sex drive?
During one of our arguments, she somewhat agreed to seek counseling for this issue. I have a feeling when I try to schedule one, she will try to put it off. I notice that she tries to devalue the importance of sex, and that really discourages me. I think she does not want to admit to herself how much it bothers me despite our conversations.
It is possible that your wife may have had very low sex drive to begin with, and that she had told you otherwise just to please you enough so that you would marry her. Chronic depression can result in a low sex drive, so can hormonal imbalance. Low testosterone level can result in low sex drive in both men and women. Persuade her to have her blood tested and evaluated by an endocrinologist and go from there.