Most men love to think about women pleasuring themselves. Unfortunately, what many of them believe to be true is usually far from reality. Men like to pump up every thought about women and sex as if we all just stepped off the set of a porno. Sorry guys, but women tend to masturbate with a bit less elaboration. If only men could sneak a peak the next time the average woman masturbates, his mental image would no doubt be deflated.
Women Use Whatever They Can Find To Pleasure Themselves
Lots of guys think that every phallic-shaped item women come into contact with somehow deserves to be entered into their vagina. Sorry, but not exactly. Cucumbers, carrots, the end of a hairbrush and tall slender knick-knacks have no place inside the vagina.
READ Masturbation: Ten Things You Need to Know
While it may get a guy hot and bothered to think that women stick just about anything and everything up there, it’s simply not true. Most women limit penetration to fingers, sex toys or penises, and that’s pretty much it. Sorry guys, but most women care about what goes in there and whether or not it’s clean and germ-free.
Women Use Porn To Get Them In The Mood
Ok fine, we will give you this one. Kinda. Some women may use porn or sexy images to become aroused, but that’s not the case for the average Jane. Most women prefer to rely on past experiences or pure fantasy while masturbating. Simply thinking up a hot fantasy or remembering a hot previous sexual experience can help put women over the edge. Sure, porn can help get women in the mood, but it’s usually just a precursor to the actual act of self-pleasuring.
Women Secretly Hope Someone Will See Them
It may be hot for a woman to touch herself in front of her man, in the privacy of her own bedroom. But actually doing so in a manner in which others are able to watch, I don’t think so. The idea of catching a woman in the act as you’re casually strolling down the street and happen to glance into her window is nothing more than pure male fantasy. This type of voyeuristic behavior is not likely to actually happen. In fact, the idea of strangers looking on while she masturbates will probably turn most ladies off.
Women Masturbate Every Time They Take a Shower
Yeah, maybe on occasion. The only reason why men think that women masturbate every time they go in the shower is that they are masturbating in the shower. Truth be told, women CAN keep their hands off of their lady parts long enough to take a shower. In fact, standing up isn’t an ideal position for a woman to masturbate. Yes, there are all sorts of fancy, pressurized shower heads, but your lady is more likely to be using the water flow to clean herself than to actually masturbate.
Women Masturbate Every Day
Sex drives for women vary from person to person. Typically, a woman’s sex drive runs in cycles and can run the gamut from hot and bothered to dry spells. For many women, their sex drive is dependent upon hormones, where they are in their menstrual cycle and their overall stress level. Men love to think that women masturbate each and every day, and though it may be true for certain women at certain times, generally it is not likely to last forever.
Sorry Guys, We Are Not Porn Stars
Women Do As Porn Stars Do
Porn is a wonderful medium, but unfortunately, it leads some men to think that every woman acts this way in everyday life, and it’s just simply not true. When a woman masturbates, the chances of her writhing around on the bed completely naked, moaning loudly while fondling her own breasts, is slim to none.
For many women, they are just getting the job done and clitoral stimulation is generally the way to go. Sure, some women touch their breasts or stimulate their nipples, and may even use a vibrator, but for most of them, they are definitely not making a show of it.
Women Wear Lingerie, Make-Up and High Heels
This just may be the funniest misconception on the list. It is highly doubtful that any woman dresses up for masturbation. Sure, women know that men think it’s hot for us to get all sexy in lingerie, heels and make-up, but the truth is, it’s just way too much effort to undertake in preparation for women to pleasure themselves, and it probably doesn’t do much in the way of their own arousal anyway. Chances are, the average lady is masturbating in her PJ’s and unkempt hair, sorry to burst your bubble men, but it’s true.
Women Are Aroused By The Mere Sight Of a Penis
When masturbating, it’s highly unlikely that a woman is fantasizing about a lone penis. Typically, what turns women on is the man that comes with the penis, the total package, and the act of sex or other erotic encounters with him. Sure, most women enjoy the penis, but simply getting a gander of one is not likely to have her all hot and bothered. No woman has the thought of penis, penis, penis running through her mind.
Women Are All Closet Lesbians Who Fantasize About Other Women
Yes, it is entirely possible that some women fantasize about other women while masturbating, but that hardly makes them lesbians. In fact, many women find it a turn on to think of themselves being with another woman, but they’d never actually act on it. Of course, there are some women who don’t fantasize about other women because they feel it’s disgusting or wrong, or it simply doesn’t appeal to them, and then there’s the other side of the coin, the bisexual women. While girl on girl action may do it for some gals, to assume that all women have these female fantasies while masturbating is just silly.
Women Invite Their Girlfriends Over To Join In On The Fun
I stand corrected; THIS is the funniest misconception on the list. If you’ve ever asked a woman if she’s masturbated with her friends, chances are she laughed in your face. For many women, masturbation is a private matter, unless of course it is done in the company of a boyfriend or lover. The idea that women are gathering together for masturbation parties is absurd; it’s not Tupperware guys! It may happen in erotic movies, but not in real life. And before you question it, lesbians aren’t doing this either. It’s called self-pleasure because generally it is done by yourself, alone.
Sorry guys, I apologize if all of your elaborate thoughts about the way women masturbate are now defunct. We love that you think we are all hot, sexy, goddesses but it’s important for you to know that we aren’t porn stars, nor do we secretly wish we were. The methods and thoughts used when we masturbate are not all that exciting, and that is a good thing for you, because most women would rather save all the fun, sexy stuff for their lover and not keep it all to themselves.
- Photo courtesy of nicopierce on Flickr: www.flickr.com/photos/nicopierce/5626397793
- Photo courtesy of deanaia on Flickr: www.flickr.com/photos/deanaia/2371672555