Toxic Relatives? Make Thanksgiving Bearable!

Get A Drama Buddy

You might really be looking forward to seeing some relatives, while being extremely stressed about the possibility of getting into conflict with others. It's all about weighing the pros and cons, and you might well decide that the pro of making grandma happy outweighs the con of chatting with your racist uncle. 

Deciding to head into your own personal war zone doesn't mean the experience will be easy, though — and you may not want to face it alone. Your partner may be a great drama buddy to whom you can vent, but we all know that isn't always the case. If you're staying with your in laws, it's going to be even harder. 

Read More: How to Detox After Your Thanksgiving Feast

Update each other about the stupid things your relatives have said and done, so you don't have to let the irritation build up. Your relatives' behavior could look a whole lot different if you decide to see it as an exercise in sociology, to share with someone who understand exactly what you are going through. 

You don't have an undersanding friend? No worries. Simply head for the internet. Anonymously, of course.

Simply Say No

Everyone's dysfunctional family situation is unique. Some people's relatives are just irritating or nosy, while others are dealing with personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder is particularly tough on relatives), alcoholism, past abuse, or other really tough issues. 

You may decide to get together for Thanksgiving, in which case you can employ some of the strategies above, but you may also decide that the inevitable drama is just not worth it. Do you really, truly, not want to see your relatives?

Yes, you bet that this will cause its fair share of drama as well, but it's up to you which type of drama you prefer. 

Before We Forget...

Don't get drunk around toxic family members, because you'll be more likely to say something you will regret. Do leave yourself a get-out clause. Don't commit to a whole week away across the country, or worse — a whole gang of relatives at your house. Make sure you have something to do the day after Thanksgiving, like work or some social commitment. 

Finally, if you have kids, brief them on the situation. Make sure you, your partner and your kids are a united front. Tell your kids what they need to know about your difficult family members and explain that some people have problems that make them hard to deal with.