Your Life and Their Life

A big mistake couples make when they get into a committed relationship is that they forget that they are still two separate individuals.  You both have your own set of friends, things you enjoy doing, and obligations to meet.  Often one person in the relationship will feel neglected because they don’t understand this concept; it’s a very important concept to understand if you want the relationship to work.  You can’t be joined at the hip every minute of the day; you have to find that common ground and begin there.  This doesn’t mean, however, that just because you both have separate lives means you can put your mate off with an excuse that you have to tend to one thing or another that might not be an emergency.  You have to find the harmony in the relationship as a couple and as individuals.  You can still spend that quality time together while enjoying your individuality. 

• Take your mate with you

If you have plans to play golf, for instance, take your girlfriend with you to ride along and share that time with you.  This helps her to be introduced to your friends in a casual setting and will make her feel special for asking her to join you.
If you have planned a lunch date with some of the girls you work with, invite your boyfriend to come along so he can meet your friends.  He may feel a bit out of place among the girls, but this will show him you want to include him in the time you spend with your friends.

• Plan a small party

Invite a few friends from each of your lives and possibly even some family members; this is a good example of sharing time together and incorporating your individual friends and family into each other’s lives.  Keep the party small by just inviting those friends and family members that you are closest to.  Having too many people may be too over-whelming for both of you. 
Quality time doesn’t necessarily mean you have to spend time alone; it means spending time doing the things together that you can enjoy doing together.  Bringing each other’s individuality into the relationship and sharing your common likes is a very good way to spend quality time together.