Narcissistic Personality Disorder vs Antisocial Personality Disorder: What's The Difference?

Almost everyone has known someone who is grandiose, self-aggrandizing, attention-seeking, and manipulative. Almost everyone has been in a relationship with someone that they have later dubbed a "narcissist" or even a "psychopath" (the original name for a person with Antisocial Personality Disorder). Did those people really have an identifiable personality disorder, however? And how can you tell the difference between these two personality disorders whose symptoms are so strikingly similar?

What Are Personality Disorders?

It can be difficult to explain personality disorders to someone who does not experience them. A person with a personality disorder has difficultly relating to other people. Not only that, but their thought processes and the way they view the world varies considerably to the perception of other people. For example, the individual with Antisocial Personality Disorder isn't capable of forming genuine relationships with anyone, using other people for their own personal gain, and they perceive that everyone else does the same.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder frequently appear boastful. They monopolize conversations and become highly uncomfortable if a conversation is not centered on them. Frequently pretentious, the diagnosed Narcissist will be obsessed with having "the best" of everything: the best house, the best car, the most desirable spouse. Much of their life is centered on appearances.

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder lack empathy. They don't understand that other people should, or even may, have different feelings to them. If they feel "on top of the world", they expect that everyone around them will feel the same way. They do not recognise the needs of others, if they differ in any way to their own.

The Narcissist is often a fantasist, spending a large amount of time obsessing about power, riches, success, or the perfect spouse. When reality falls short of their fantasies, they can fall into a depression and sulk for a long time.

READ How To Recognize People With Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Full of an inflated sense of their own self-importance, the Narcissist will use other people to get what they want. They believe it's their right to get whatever they want, and will demand special favors. They don't understand the reason if they fail to get the special treatment they demand, but they suspect it has something to do with jealousy. The Narcissist is frequently jealous of the success of others, and expects that other people will be jealous of them.

Antisocial Personality Disorder

At first glance, Antisocial Personality Disorder appears very similar to Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The person with Antisocial Personality Disorder is also highly egocentric with a hugely-inflated sense of self, and no ability to empathize.

As with the Narcissist, the person with Antisocial Personality Disorder will use other people to get what they want, and will feel no remorse about taking advantage of people and subsequently abandoning them. They feel that everybody is out to dupe other people and that, if anyone is taken advantage of, it's their own fault.

The Antisocial personality can be charming and manipulative if trying to impress someone. The Antisocial person is a credible liar, but is frequently "caught out" when their lies become confused; the Antisocial personality is impulsive and never thinks ahead enough to plan their lies clearly. Unlike the Narcissist, who can become truly depressed when their plans go awry, the Antisocial person is incapable of such depths of emotion, and only displays apparent emotional-weakness to draw their unsuspecting prey into their trap.

Like the Narcissistic personality, the Antisocial person is frequently abusive, and may use bursts of physical and verbal aggression, interspaced with periods of conniving charm, to terrify their chosen victim. Unlike the Narcissist, who abuses because they feel they are superior, the Antisocial personality frequently abuses their partner for amusement, discarding them when the Antisocial person becomes bored.

Telling The Difference Between NPD And Anti-Social Personality Disorder

On the surface, these conditions appear identical. But there are several distinct differences that will help you tell one disorder from the other.

READ Antisocial Personality Disorder

Narcissistic personalities lack the aggression of Antisocial personalities. Antisocial people are sensation-seekers; they desire a thrill, a challenge; this leads them to commit illegal acts without a thought of being caught or punished. They lack remorse for harm they have committed, because they don't consider the harm they have committed. The Narcissist will rarely be arrested for a violent act.

Antisocial personalities are more generally physically abusive, while Narcissists are more generally verbally abusive. The Narcissist enjoys belittling and challenging people they consider to be beneath them (which is most of the human race); however they are also dogged by feelings of low-worth and inadequacy. The Narcissist is a very lonely person. The Antisocial personality needs no-one.

The Narcissist needs people to believe they are exceptional people, and are more likely to exaggerate their talents and experiences to ensure that happens. They want to be loved, or at least respected. Criticism cuts them very deeply. The Antisocial personality is completely invulnerable to criticism. The Antisocial person doesn't care what people think of them; all people are nothing more than toys to them, to be exploited and cast aside.

Think You're With A Narcissist Or Antisocial Personality?

If this article seems very familiar, you may wonder what to do to get help. Both these conditions can be treated with a mixture of therapy and medication. Sadly, both these conditions are notoriously difficult to treat, as both require the person with the Personality Disorder to recognize they need help and to seek it (which many Narcissists or Antisocial personalities may not realize and may refuse to do; there's a saying that if a person has ever considered that they may be a Narcissist or a psychopath, they're not). 

Remember: there are various levels of these personality disorders (from mild to severe) but you must always consider your own safety before staying in any relationship. Never put yourself at risk.