hey, im 14 almost 15 and recently all my friends have been going to "emptys" as in parties when they're parents are on holiday/vacation. Almost everyday i hear about how fun it was and how im missing out...usually my friends considor me coolish and a bit of a trend setter, but i am in no way doing it for them i really want to experience what they are going through so really what i want to know is if i occaisionally drink, say every 2-3 weeks, in small quantities would it be okay...i know it's silly and seems i'm not very mature but i feel i must try it to have an opinion about it. I hope you don't think badly of me and i would appreciate if someone could set me straight on the risks. Thanks. C.
P.S. im a male if that maks any difference?
P.S. im a male if that maks any difference?
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Hi there dude! You know - I think you asked a very good and difficult question. My step-son is 14...so this really made me think a lot. By asking this question...it shows a level of responsibility and maturity that I hope YOUR parents are very proud of! I don't think badly of you at all...if fact quite the opposite!
I personally believe that you DO NOT have to ever drink to have fun...ever! I don't think the believe that alcohol equal fun is true at all. In my entire life I never felt the need to have a drink when at an event where others were drinking. I do occasionally drink socially, but never more than one or two in an entire evening.
It is a fact that kids drink. I honestly did not when I was your age, but I may be the exception...if I was somewhere where other kids were drinking I found it very easy to turn it down. "No thanks...I don't like the taste of alcohol" always worked for me. So - an option for you...go to the parties...but you don't have to drink if you don't want to. YOU have to make the choices about what you do in life - when you allow other people to dictate those choices for you, you are immediately no longer in control...and that is what leads to trouble!
Do I think it would be ok for you to drink in small quantities...probably yes. But what concerns me is that those times when you would be drinking would be in uncontrolled environments. I have let my step-son try alcohol...in our home...because I don't want it to seem 'forbidden' to him. I am pretty confident in the decisions he will make - he has shown us before that he does not need to go with the crowd when friends make bad decisions. Regardless of what any adult says, or does...you are your own person...and YOU are going to make decisions to do what you want to do. You need to think about the reasons why you want to do it. IF you choose to do it...make sure you stay the responsible kid I think you are. If you are doing it to be more like your friends...to fit in...or so people think you are 'cool' - those are the WRONG reasons!
Finally - you ask about the risks. I think you know them already, honestly! If you are in the US - it is not legal for you to drink. Drinking at a party like that creates the risk of the police coming to 'break it up' and you having to explain to your parents why you were there, and drinking! I believe that (at your age) there will be a lot of pressure for you to drink - AND to drink more than you are comfortable with. And, I believe that starting drinking so young does make it more of a habit during the rest of your life.
You are going to make the decision that you want - whatever it is though...make sure you do it responsibly! Make sure that if anything ever does get out of hand...or the situation where you are starts to make you uncomfortable that you have an adult you trust (hopefully that is your parents) that you can call to come get you without fear of being punished! I really do have a gut feeling about the kind of kid you are...and I believe you will be ok whatever decision you make as long as you always just be yourself!
Good luck dude...and let me know what you decide...and how it goes!
I personally believe that you DO NOT have to ever drink to have fun...ever! I don't think the believe that alcohol equal fun is true at all. In my entire life I never felt the need to have a drink when at an event where others were drinking. I do occasionally drink socially, but never more than one or two in an entire evening.
It is a fact that kids drink. I honestly did not when I was your age, but I may be the exception...if I was somewhere where other kids were drinking I found it very easy to turn it down. "No thanks...I don't like the taste of alcohol" always worked for me. So - an option for you...go to the parties...but you don't have to drink if you don't want to. YOU have to make the choices about what you do in life - when you allow other people to dictate those choices for you, you are immediately no longer in control...and that is what leads to trouble!
Do I think it would be ok for you to drink in small quantities...probably yes. But what concerns me is that those times when you would be drinking would be in uncontrolled environments. I have let my step-son try alcohol...in our home...because I don't want it to seem 'forbidden' to him. I am pretty confident in the decisions he will make - he has shown us before that he does not need to go with the crowd when friends make bad decisions. Regardless of what any adult says, or does...you are your own person...and YOU are going to make decisions to do what you want to do. You need to think about the reasons why you want to do it. IF you choose to do it...make sure you stay the responsible kid I think you are. If you are doing it to be more like your friends...to fit in...or so people think you are 'cool' - those are the WRONG reasons!
Finally - you ask about the risks. I think you know them already, honestly! If you are in the US - it is not legal for you to drink. Drinking at a party like that creates the risk of the police coming to 'break it up' and you having to explain to your parents why you were there, and drinking! I believe that (at your age) there will be a lot of pressure for you to drink - AND to drink more than you are comfortable with. And, I believe that starting drinking so young does make it more of a habit during the rest of your life.
You are going to make the decision that you want - whatever it is though...make sure you do it responsibly! Make sure that if anything ever does get out of hand...or the situation where you are starts to make you uncomfortable that you have an adult you trust (hopefully that is your parents) that you can call to come get you without fear of being punished! I really do have a gut feeling about the kind of kid you are...and I believe you will be ok whatever decision you make as long as you always just be yourself!
Good luck dude...and let me know what you decide...and how it goes!
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First of all thank you for your reply as it helped me come to decision. I did go to a party and yes i had a drink but thanks to your post i already had my plan figured out. When you said that i should have someone i can count on to come pick me up if something was to happen i kind of sunk because in my family i can talk to my parents about anything but this being illegal and pretty silly, not to mention a difficult situation. I finally decided to ask my sister who i feel i can trust with anything. Again this was a bit worrying but when i talked to her she told me about how she wished she had an older brother or sister that she could rely on and said if anything happened i was to phone her as opposed to my mum and dad. at the party i realised very suddenly that drinking is fun. The actual night was fun and i had a good time. Thank you, not only did your post show me that i can really trust my sister but it also showed me that drinking is fun but not needed all the time. Thanks once again for your long and helpful post.
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You know what - I don't know you...but I can honestly say I feel proud of you! Weird - huh? It sounds like you did ok to me! (Actually way better than ok).
Stay true to yourself always - and be confident in your decisions...and stand your ground when necessary...and everything will usually turn out ok!
Be good - be safe - and have fun!!!!
Stay true to yourself always - and be confident in your decisions...and stand your ground when necessary...and everything will usually turn out ok!
Be good - be safe - and have fun!!!!
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