9 Year old boy took Maximor Advance. He's having constant erection, but no pain or sickness

My sister was forced into therapy and killed herself over it. Don't do the same to your children please. Children are just children, and if you convince them there is something wrong with that they will never get well.

If any of this has happened your son is at risk.

Two adults are letting this take place in front of them.
The last adult followed your son to the bathroom knowing what he was going to do.
This should be a police matter and everything possible should be done to protect your son.
He needs help because his behaviors are putting him at risk he more importantly needs protection from adults that want to watch him do these things and follow him to washrooms so they can watch. They need to be reported to the police.

What do you propose should I do?

I here the doubt in your words. I don't know what is worst. These things really happening to him or him imagining it. Either way, he is at risk and it is driving me crazy!.

Today was a good day. Just a normal Saturday with my wife and two boys. I am thankful for it.

It must be a difficult thing to deal with and to try and sort out.
With all the things you know have happened like what he did with that older boy on vacation do you think there is a chance he is making any of this up?
Maybe his brother or his friends could tell you more about what goes on.

If there is a chance that what he said happened at the game did happen finding out who this adult is and what he did with your son that is worth looking into.

Do you discuss the things that your son tells you and the things you have found out with your sons therapist?
Maybe you and your son discussing these things with the therapist could help.
His therapist could hopefully give you some advice on the best way to approach dealing with all of this.

Your limiting where he goes and what he does and making sure he isn't going places alone will help keep him safe.
Going to his game and asking him to point out that adult is worth considering.

It's good your and your family are having a normal stress free day hopefully there will be many good days ahead for your family.

I can relate with your son. I also discovered orgasms at a very young age. I can not remember a time without them. I also did “weird” things like the things he does with his underwear and things like that. I grew up in a small town. It was surrounded by woods and farmlands. Me and my friends would go whole Saturdays without clothes, swimming in the dams and river and walking naked in the woods and fields. I taught most of my friends how to masturbate. Three of us did all kinds of weird things. We pushed slippery river pebbles up our bums and weird things like that. I convinced them to tie me to a tree with my hands above my head and hit my bum with a table tennis bat while masturbating me. Today we are all grown up and married with kids and we don’t have any hang ups because of any of it. I suppose it is more difficult in the city but I can not help thinking that one must try to not make to much of a fuss out of it all. I get it that you are afraid that your son can get hurt. Perhaps you must decide with him with whom he may share his masturbation. Restrict him to a specific age group or something like that. You said that we can brainstorm with you. This is me brainstorming.

I was always curious about my and other peoples bodies. I always played show me yours and I will show you mine. I was also always playing with myself. My parents taught me to only play with myself in my room but I played when ever I thought no one could see me. My hands were always playing in my pockets and when I was alone I would push my hands into my underwear. When I was nine I was busy playing hide and seek at a friends house. At my hiding place I was alone and and thus my hands were in my pants. I squeezed myself as usual and then suddenly my whole body had a spasm. My upper body jerked forward and I pumped my head so hard against the tree in front of me that it started to bleed. My friends mum tried to stop the bleeding but the only thing I could think of was the wonderful feeling I had. As soon as I was finished I begged my friend to play hide and seek again. While hiding I had my second orgasm in my life. I was hooked.
After a while, I taught my best friend how to do it by doing it for him. After that we sometimes did it together but he wasn’t so much into it. I was looking for a friend that wanted to do it as much as me. There was an older boy living to blocks away from my home. He was in grade 7 or 8 so I think he was 13 or 14. I knew him a little because we walked the same path home after school. My school was close to my house and the high school bus dropped the older kids very close to our school. While walking home I asked him if he played with himself. He said no. I was very disappointed. Then he asked me if I do. I said yes. He then said that he also does and that he was just shy to admit it to me. I asked him if he wanted to do it with me. I think he said something like now?! I said yes. We did it together between a few trees next to the path. That was the first time I saw sperm. I didn’t know what it was. He explained it to me. From then on we masturbated together everyday. We started to see one another over weekends also. We experimented with everything except penetration but at the end we just masturbated together and seldom did anything with one another. We kept on like that for years until he went to college. We saw one another for a while on some weekends but it wasn’t the same anymore. In his second year I saw him once. My body started producing sperm and I wanted to show him. After that we only did it together once more. We still chatted whenever we saw one another but our childhood experiences made way for grown up life. I don’t regret any of it and look back at it with fond memories.
You have a good relationship with your boy. He will tell you if someone is hurting him. You can even tell him to come and tell you if someone hurts him or ask him to do something he feels uncomfortable with. For the rest let him find someone he can share his masturbation with.

I have been a sports coach to boys between die ages of 5 to 9 for many years and I have seen a few really weird sexual things that they can do. I don’t think I have always handled it the right way. Most of the times it catches you off guard and you have to think really fast. You would be busy coaching and the next moment one of them will have his pants on his knees and wave his penis around, tug on it, slap it, make humping moves… I was always so embarrassed because the moms usually sat next to the field, waiting for their children to finish practice.

There was a few boys that made sexual advances towards me trough the years. There was a boy that I use to coach from ages 7 to 9. In those 3 years he has tried to force himself onto me many times in different ways. The first time was after practice. His mom was a bit late and I was waiting with him. He asked me straight if I would show mine to him if he showed me his. I told him that he should do that with friends his own age but he was persisted. I was relieved when his mother came. After that he asked me so many times that at the end I told his mother. She was shocked and jelled at him in front of me. That wasn’t such a good idea because he didn’t talk to me for a week or two but after that he was back at his usual schemes. I remember he asked me what happens to a boy that plays with his privates. I said nothing. Then he said that he feels guilty when he does it. I said he didn’t need to feel that way because it is normal. Then he asked me if I did it. Right there I realized that he was playing me again, so I told him that I have to go and walked off. He became really cunning. One day he told me that he had bruised his hip and if I could have a look to see if it’s okay. He pulled the side of his pants down a bit and the next moment the front of his pants and out popped his erection. I cried his name out load! He was crawling around on the ground laughing. On one of the away matches his mother asked if he could get a lift with me. He and three other boys drove with me. On our way back he sat in the front. The other boys fell asleep. The next moment he pulled his pants down to his knees at sat there with an erection. I told him to put his pants back on but he just laughed at me. I wanted to shout at him but I couldn’t because I was afraid that the other boys would wake up and see. I begged him to get dressed again. I even told him that I can get into trouble. He didn’t care. He just started playing with himself. I took my jersey and through it over him. The first couple of times he just trough it off but eventually he kept it there until he was finished. Luckily he got dressed again before any of the other boys saw anything. I was extremely upset. I saw his dad a few days after that at a match and told him about it. He wasn’t to shocked. He said that it is a problem that they are working on and that I must please tell him every time that something like that happens. Things like that happened a couple of times and I told his dad every time.

It is easy for other people to judge coaches and teachers. We deal with strange things and we do not always know how to handle it. We do not always realize that we are being tricked into something. When we do, we usually just try and get out of the situation as quick as possible. It is also not that easy to tell parents. What if they don’t believe you or turn around and blame you and make a case against you. I have read what one of the guests posted about going after the grown ups that watched your boy masturbate but I don’t think that is going to help much. It’s going to take a lot of effort and in the mean time he would find other people to watch him doing it. It’s a different story if he tells you that someone has hurt him or forced him to do something. In the mean time rather focus on equipping your boy the way that you are already busy doing. I think you have a great relationship with your boys. Many people can learn from you. Keep us posted on his progress. I will be praying for you.

Sorry that I haven’t answered any of you back yet. I just needed to get away for a while and try not to think to much. Me and my wife wants to put allot of our attention and energy into our family sessions with the therapist for now. We realise that we are both not at the moment in emotional states to give our sons the necessary support.

Thank you to all of you who took the time to write back. It really does feel like that there are people out there that care and really wants to support us. Please keep on writing, even if I do not answer that often. Don’t wait for me to answer you back. Post what ever comes to your mind. Even if you post many threads before I come back to you.

Thank you, it really means a lot!

I have tried to post many times the last few weeks but I usually just open the computer and stare at it for a while and then just leave it. The time I did write something I just deleted it again. I feel the need to share but I have no idea where to start.
I have paid lots of money for therapy. The only one that seems to be okay is my eldest son although he has got angry with me for not letting my youngest son be.
Me and my wife seldom talk and when we do it is an argument about our youngest son.
My youngest boy is rebellious now. His not even ten yet! In the family sessions, with the therapist, he gets furious. He starts to hyperventilate and cries. He keeps on saying that it is his body and that we do not have the right to tell him what he may or may not do with it. He is as naive as a child should be about the dangers of the world but he is so stubborn!
I have made a deal with him. My wife and the therapist do not agree with me and I am sure many others will not either but at this stage I do not care.
I have decided to use some of the thoughts that the guests, that have replied at the beginning of this year, have shared. I asked my son if he would agree to limiting the age group with whom he wants to share his sexuality as well as the things he wants to do. So I have an agreement with him now that he would not share it with a person older than grade 7 and that they would stick to masturbating together but not each other or anything else.

Good day, Christiaan
My nephew is 11 and he took one of my brother in law’s Cialis pills. I was searching the internet for some answers and found your article. I have sent my sister the url and she said she found it very helpful and insightful. Thank you. When I read everything I cried. I want to tell you about me. I am 27 now. I was a very sad boy when I was small. I had a lot of therapists. My mom and dad are not married. I was a very angry boy. I was diagnosed as bipolar before I was 10. I use to hurt myself. In grade 5 the school kicked me out. My dad took me to a private school. It was very small. I was the only one in grade 5. It was better than my first school but I still did not like it. I did not like the teachers. Only one teacher was nice. He was an old man. When I was upset he would come and talk to me. I always felt better when he came and talk to me. He helped me to understand myself. He did not handle me as a child. He explained to me what was happening to me and why I feel the way I do. I wasn’t going to pass the year because I got angry all the time and then could not focus on my work. He asked me if I struggle more now than last year. I said yes. He then said that he thinks it is because of puberty. I knew what puberty was and I wasn’t going through puberty yet. He then explained that puberty starts internal about 2 years before one can see anything from the outside. The hormones makes the mood swings more difficult to handle. He then asked me if he could ask me a private question to see if I am going through puberty. He asked me if I have started to play more often with my penis. I knew what he was talking about because I had older friends that were doing it. But I did not do it yet and I told him that. He said that it is in any case not a good indicator. Later in the year I started to struggle more and more. I could not control my emotions. My mom was telling me that she was going to take me out of school. I didn’t like going to school but I also didn’t want to leave. I went to the old teacher and told him that. He said that he had a idea and if I want to I can try it. I was ready to try anything. He said that I can try and play with my penis every time I got upset and see if it helped. I started doing it. I would get upset and hide under the table. Then I remembered what he said. I started squeezing my penis through my pants and immediately started to calm down but then I got a fright that the teacher would see me and stopped. I told the old teacher that it works but that I am afraid that someone would see. He said that I should always wear shorts to school and push my hand up the leg while writing with the other hand. He said the teachers would not look under the desk to see what I was doing. I started doing it and it changed my life. Every time I sat at the desk I pushed my hand up the leg and squeezed my penis the whole time. When I got upset I squeezed faster. One day I got an orgasm. It was funny. I bumped my head against the desk. The teacher didn’t know what happened. I told the old teacher and he explained to me that it was an orgasm. I was confused because I thought that an orgasm was shooting sperm. I have seen my older friends shoot sperm. He explained to me about dry orgasms before puberty. It didn’t happen again. I was very upset. I wanted it to happen again. I went to the old teacher again and told him that it doesn’t want to happen again. He laughed and I became very upset with him. He calmed me down and then explained to me that I could try and pull my foreskin up and down. I immediately went to the toilet and tried it. It felt good but I did not get an orgasm. I ran back to him. He was busy with another class but I went in and pulled him outside. He said that I was not patient enough. It takes time. I went and tried again but it didn’t work. During recess I begged him to come and show me. He locked the class room door and then told me to show him what I did. I immediately did that. He came over and adjusted my had a bit and told me to try again. It took a few adjustments and then it worked. I went to that school until I finished school. He still teaches there and I sometimes go and visits him. He is a wonderful man and I am forever thankful for him.

Hi Christiaan

Just wondering how things are going with your son and the rest of the family.
Sorry that this has put you and your family under so much stress it is a tough situation for sure.

Maybe with your boy getting so frustrated with seeing the therapist you and your wife could talk about maybe taking a break or alternatives that may help.

Do you and your family discuss the things that are going on with each other and let the boys give their input.

How have things been with your son since you made the agreement with him about limiting his activities to certain ages?

Thank you to both the last two posts (and all the previous ones again).

First of all, to the guest who replied 20 days ago. Through your and some of the previous post I have realized that things are not that straight forward as the law and rules regarding childhood sexuality makes it out to be. I think I have come a long way in discovering that every child, as well as every situation, is different and can never be treated in the same way.
I am extremely grateful if my thread help other people. I have said it before, there is not enough unprejudiced information on child sexuality available. Everybody shouts child sexual abuse all the time and in the mean time, people like my family do not get the necessary guidance they need.

To the guest who replied yesterday. Things are much better between me and my wife, thank you for asking. We have stopped all therapy for now. I want to state that I am very grateful to the therapists. I just think a time-out is good at this stage. I sat down with my youngest one and told him that we are going to stop it for the time being as long as he stick to our agreement. He just replied with “okay”.
I don’t really know what’s going on in his mind or life anymore. He has stopped sharing with me. So yeah, to the guys who praised me for my relationship with my son, I have messed that up good!
When he is at home he is usually naked or wearing cycling pants or one of his speedos. He made himself a mud-pool in the back yard and I often find him in it - he likes humping in it, really hard, making the water splash everywhere and me afraid his going to hurt himself, tearing off his foreskin or something. So, yeah, he is still that same weird little boy you came to know. But his a happy weird little boy and I think that makes it okay.
We were away for Easter. He was wearing normal cloths for the whole trip. Without underwear off-course; that goes without saying. It was good for the family. We had good laughs and spent quality time. I know that both of my boys masturbated in the back of the car on our way to our destination and when we drove back again. They were discrete about it and I am sure my wife didn’t even notice it. Apart from that I don’t think there were anything else regarding their sexuality. We did everything together and there wasn’t much time for anything else.

I have asked him a few times about our agreement but he didn’t say anything. My eldest son told me that his brother is friends with one of the boys in his grade (grade 7). My eldest son is not really friends with this boy but he said that his brother seems to get along with him. I asked my youngest one about the boy and he said that they sometimes masturbate together. But that is as much as I got out of him.

It really drives me crazy not to know! But, as I have said before, he really seems happy. Apart from not sharing with me anymore our relation ship is back the way it always was. We wrestle and play the same as we use to and he often gives me hugs or sits on my lap, falling asleep. He is so small. I think he only ways about 21 or 22kg. I comfort myself with the thought that when anybody hurts him, he will come and tell me. I pray that that will never be necessary.
I ask myself all the time what I will do if he starts sharing with me again and when the things I hear upsets me. Will I take him for therapy again? I don’t know. He is most probably doing things right now that will upset me. Is it possible that it is better that I do not know about it? Our family seems to be at the best place we have been for many months. I really don’t know.

You talk about we as a family discussing things. I quote you:

“Do you and your family discuss the things that are going on with each other and let the boys give their input.”

Will you please elaborate. Perhaps you can explain a bit more what you mean and give examples on how we can do this.

Hi Christiaan

So glad to hear things have improved for you and your family it must be a huge relief for all of you.

It must be really difficult when your searching for answers and there seems to be so little information out there.

Hopefully in time your son comes around and becomes comfortable with sharing things with you again.
Honestly I don't think you have messed up your relationship with your son you are doing what had to be done to insure your boys safety.
Hopefully in time he realizes that all of this was done to protect him and keep him safe.
I would think that his not wanting to tell you things would most likely be related to not wanting to return too seeing the therapist.

With him still openly doing the things that make him happy I would think he is well on his way to putting all of this behind him.
Maybe with your concerns about him hurting himself just asking him if he is getting sore down there will help bring down any barriers he has put up.

The family trip sounds like it did all of you a lot of good and both your boys seem to be really well on their way to returning to just being themselves.
With your youngest telling you about what he does with the other boy he is opening up to you again and if he is holding anything back with some reassurance hopefully that changes.

It must be difficult when your wondering what your not being told but your son could be sticking to the agreement you made with him around the age group.

Asking about the family discussion I was just wondering if you and your wife and the boys talked about things brought up at therapy at home and if the boys shared with you and your wife how they were feeling about the things discussed in therapy.

Perhaps you and your wife could ask the boys how they would feel about just doing a causal sharing time at home. Maybe with some reassurance that it won't lead to returning to therapy and that the goal is for all of you to talk openly again with no secrets the boys might feel like trying it.

Sounds like the break from therapy was the best thing for all of you.

It is wonderful that your family is doing so well the boys have no doubt noticed how much less tension there is in the house.

Your boys have great understanding parents and they know that and they would also know and understand that you and your wife want what's best for them and want to keep them safe.