9 Year old boy took Maximor Advance. He's having constant erection, but no pain or sickness

It's good you have found that your oldest son is doing so much to try and help his little brother.
The relationship he has with the two kids is pretty scary the girl could be manipulating him down a different path than what he normally does with other boys.
What they are doing is completely inappropriate for their age and when they reach puberty these behaviors could lead to an unwanted pregnancy.
The age of the other boy is very concerning as well when others find out what has been going on your son even with being very young himself will no doubt be blamed for manipulating the other boy into doing these things.

When other kids are involved the reaction of their parents and the other kids well-being is something that has to be considered and addressed.

Hopefully the summer is better for all of you and you can find away to limit the the things he is doing.

The last week of our winter-holiday is on its way. We as a family are getting some quality time together. My wife has started working again but I only start next week Monday again.
The only problem is that I have to much time to think at the moment. My mind is driving me crazy. All these scenarios of what can happen with my boy is playing off in front of me.
I am reliving a lot of things that has happening in the past and I am wondering if I could have done things differently. I know it is never good to dwell on the past but I have absolutely no idea how to go foreword either.
My son is happy, he has a lot of friends, he excels in his sports and he does well at school and yet I am constantly aware of the disaster that can happen around him at any time.
Sometimes I think that he will always be okay but I am not so sure about the people around him.
He has developed a sensuality. Where his actions has been blatant a year or two ago, and totally self-focused, it is no subtle and I think, most of the time, with purpose.
It’s difficult to describe. Sometimes, when he stands next to a table, he would slowly move his hips a little bit from side to side, with the front of his pants just touching the table. He sometimes brushes his thumb over the front of his pants in a way that looks as if it was accidental but at the same time smiling directly at someone. He does little things like this. Most of the time it’s even more subtle than that. I watch him when he is around others and I see how he pics it up when someone sees him. He zooms in on that person. If it is someone he knows he will engage directly and start talking to him or her or start playing a game like tag. If he doesn’t know the person he will stay in close proximity of him or her. His actions then becomes more blatant. He usually start playing with his one hand in his pocket or pushes his hand under his shirt and rub his chest while a part of his tummy shows. Because he doesn’t wear underwear one can easily spot that he sprouts a stiffy and sometimes I see how the other person finds it intriguing and stare and engage with my son. I usually interfere and try and get him focused on something else but it seldom really works.

The boys are having a lot of fun. We have done some reparations and improvements on their tree house. They had some friends over for a few sleepovers and we played a lot of board-games. It has been fun. And yes, we are still very excited about the birthday planning. Can you believe that my little boy is turning 10! Amazing!
It’s going to be okay! I just have to keep on believing it! I pray and I know where my strength lies! Sorry that I sometime despair. And thank you for all of you that keep on listening to all my challenges.

I have decided to get some help for myself again. I have seen a therapist twice now, just to try and get myself to a place where I feel in control again. I have shifted my sons problems aside for the past two weeks. I feel a bit more ready to face it again.
I have a bit of a game plan. I'm thinking of taking my son back to the therapist who first mentioned the possibility of his sensory disorder. I think that most of his actions are driven by a feeling of hypo-sensativity. But even if that is true, I don't think it is possible to change most of his habits. The way I understand it, sexuality is the most common way the body try and counter hypo-sensativy. I am just frustrated that no one really knows. I have spoken to so many therapists and have read so many articles.

Hi Christiaan

It's good your giving yourself some time to regroup and getting some support for yourself.

Part of the issue could be due to your sons age this might be new territory for many therapists.

The fact that your son does so well in every aspect of his life from school to sports and friends is wonderful he is normal great kid that just happens to have a very high drive for pleasure.
Taking your son back therapy is a big step and he probably won't be very open to the idea of it since his first experience did not go so well.

Maybe asking him what he thinks about it and trying to do it in away that makes him feel it is his choice to do it might make the whole process easier for all of you.

Hard to say about ever changing his behaviors and it could be his need to do the things he does is so strong that he can't resist the temptation.

Working on who is does things with and where is something else he struggles with the agreement you had probably has not been followed to well.

His safety and the other kids safety is going to be an ongoing issue but maybe with enough work towards trying to limit who he does things with would be a better option than trying to get him to stop the behaviors.

My youngest boy turned 10 on the 29’th of July and the following Saturday we had his birthday party. We went to the farm as promised and the weather played along nicely. Although it is winter time here, the kids caught a few bass.
My son wanted to invite the gr. 2 boy and gr. 6 girl, from aftercare, but I didn’t want him to. I told him that they would not have other friends at the party but at the end I gave in and we invited them anyway. I was nervous to meet them. I knew what the boy looked like but I have never met the girl. I was extremely nervous to meet their parents.
Meeting the two children was actually not that bad. They are really nice kids with very good manners and they have no signs of any obscurity. I expected them to be more like my son but they are really not. For some or other reason I thought that the boy would play with his hands in his pockets all the time or something like that but he never did.
Meeting their parents were very difficult for me. I felt very guilty while talking to the boy’s mom and almost a bit angry while talking to the girls mother. I am such a hypocrite.
In any case, during the party there was a time that I didn’t know where the 3 of them were and got a bit paranoid. I walked right around the dam and found them in 3 separate groups, with the other children. So my frantic behavior was a bitty silly. On our way back the three of them drove back with me. We weren’t far yet, when the girl started to rub the boy’s backs. They were lying with their heads on her lap and she had her hands underneath their shirts. I was frantic again! I looked as much over my shoulder as possible while driving and began asking her all kinds of questions to get her into some small-talk, which she did, telling me about her family, her pets, things at school… But she kept her hands right where they were. After a while I realised that the boys were asleep and that she wasn’t really doing anything wrong. She was just rubbing their backs. The drive back took almost 2 hours and after a while she also fell asleep.

I have not yet took my youngest one back for any therapy. I asked him directly with whom he still does things and it seems as if he is sticking with the three we already know about - that is the grade 7 boy, the grade 6 girl and the grade 2 boy.
I did however started discussing his hypo-sensitivity with him in a very open manner. He has responded remarkably good. The fact that he is a bit older now makes it easier to discuss things with him and it is as if he finds it rewarding to discuss himself and figure out possible reasons for his behaviors. I don’t know if we are on the right track and if his hypo-sensitivity is at all the root or partly the root of his actions but I do know that it somehow helps him to make sense of it all.
He told me many things. Some of it goes back as far as he can remember. I will try and explain some of the the ones that make the most sense to me.

He told me that as far back as he can remember he liked the coldness of tiles. He would go into our bathroom at home, and press himself against the tiles. He usually starts with his hands and face, then take off his shirt and first press his back against the tiles and then turn around and do the same with his chest and tummy. Every time he would move to a different spot, trying to get a cold spot again, because his body would warm up the tiles. Then he would take off his pants and try and press as much of his backside (shoulders, back, buttocks, legs) against the tiles as possible. He would turn his head so that his cheek, ear and side of his head press against the cold tiles. He would stand on his toes to try and get as much as possible of himself against the tile. Then he would turn around and do the same for the front of his body. He always ended with humping himself to orgasm against the tiles or sometimes over the edge of the bath, with one leg inside and the other outside the bath or against the basin, holding onto the taps; depending on what felt the coldest.
He says that that is why he like it so much to get into the swimming pool when it is really cold. He wants to get to a point where he shivers so much that his whole body shakes. When it is cold weather and the wind blows he would stay in the pool until he shivers and then get out and stand in the cold until he get so cold that his whole body shakes and his teeth clatter. When he gets to that point, he will go and stand in front of the water-jet from the swimming pool pump.
3 years ago we were in the mountains for our holiday. There were many mountain streams and little waterfalls. We caught fish and went for hikes. It was a great holiday. My son tells me that, although he always enjoyed the coldness of our swimming pool, it was there that he started enjoying the extreme coldness of the water. I remember that some of those streams were so cold that they gave you a headache the moment you jumped into it. He told me that he use to sneak out in the night and went to the nearest stream. He took off his clothes at home and walked naked to the water stream. By the time he reached it he would already be shivering. He would go and sit in the small rapids and let it run over his head and body until the cold made his skin go numb. Then he would stand up and wait for the numbness to go away and do it again. He said that he would get so cold and shiver so much that it felt as if his body would shake apart. He loved it and did anything to reach that point. One night on his way home his feet were so numb that he didn’t realise that he cut the one. When he walked into the cottage he saw that there were blood everywhere. He rolled toilet paper around his foot and then had to clean the floor. He was afraid that he would wake us. The following morning he got up early and told us that it happened that morning. I still remember the cut on his foot and never expected how it really happened.
When we got home from that holiday it was extremely frustrating for him because he could not reach the same level of coldness anymore. He started showering in the morning with only cold water. I joked with him and told him that he saves us a lot of electricity that way! He started sneaking out at home and would go into the swimming pool at night while the rest of us were asleep. He would get into the swimming pool and then get out and stand in the cold. That gave him the idea of the garden hose. Instead of going into the swimming pool he started to wet himself with the garden hose outside and that brought him closer to his experience in the mountains. When winter came he started to get closer to the coldness that he was seeking. Last year he saw a video of children doing a ice bath challenge and it became a fantasy. He says he often fantasize himself being in an ice bath and then he started to beg me to buy him packets of ice.
Just to calm everyone down, he says that he actually does this very seldom. He said he usually does it when he does not feel good. “Not feel good“ is a word that he uses quite often so I zoomed in on it a bit. We use to work with a book full of faces with different emotions when he was small, to help him identify what he feels. I reminded him of the book and asked him to try and explain what “not feeling good“ means. We identified it as a state of feeling nothing. Not happy or sad. He says it is almost like feeling bored but he can usually do something exciting and that would take the boredom away. When he feels like this, nothing excites him. Even masturbation is then boring. It is then that he would usually go out at night and try and get as cold as possible. He said that it always works. Sometimes he need to go a couple of nights in a row but after every time he feels better. He said that he let himself go crazy on evenings like this. He plays that he is a dog, running around on all fours and rolling around in the grass, a dolphin in the sea (swimming in the swimming pool), standing underneath a waterfall (wetting himself with the garden hose), being a monkey in a tree, tanning on the beach (he usually lie on the cement or where ever it is the coldest)… I realised that my son sometimes has a whole life of his own while the rest of us are all asleep.

As I was saying, I am not really sure if these conversations bring as anywhere but it helps me and my son to connect and it calms me down to know what is going on in his head. At first, every time I woke up during the night, I would check on him but somehow it made me feel guilty, so I forced myself to stop. It is his private life and I do not have the right to interfere with it. He is not hurting himself in any way. It doesn’t seem to tire him out and he never falls ill, so this is not something that I am going to interfere with.

He also told me that he sometimes have a very strong need to feel or touch things. That I know already - I have seen him doing it many times since he was a baby. He laughed and said that it is almost as if the wall, tree bark, mud (he named a lot of different materials) talk to him and call out to him to come and touch them. He said that he falls in love with certain materials. Although he doesn’t like wearing underwear he loves touching it and rubbing it against his skin. It’s the same with some T-shirt materials. When he finds something that he likes to touch he will go back to it all the time or if he can carry it with him, he will do so. It's not always soft to the touch. Sometimes it is a rough piece of bark or something like that. I have even seen him walking around with sandpaper. Like most kids one of his favorite things is bubble wrap.

Hi Christiaan, I have read your posts with great interest, and wonderment, your youngest son who this is all about just turned ten, and according to your posts is hugely sexually active, I believe you stated that this started from a seriously young age, maybe even before he was aware of the pleasure it was giving him, you also state that he may also be doing it not for pleasure but to actually hurt himself, he has admitted to breaking his own record of having 27 orgasms in a twenty four hour period. I presume these are dry orgasms, and he hasn't actually began ejaculating yet. YES how many men boys have experienced those powerful body trembling, pre-ejaculation orgasms, I know I did and was aware of them certainly since the age of seven, I'd be training my foreskin to stay behind the glans, previous to that, They were great orgasms but like yourself I grew up in a very religious and conservative family, I was caught a number of times and the wrath of God was imposed on me, I was threatened with the Boogy Man, who would come in the middle of the night and cut my penis off, if I didn't stop, I couldn't the pleasure so great, I just had to be more careful and secretive, I also like your son, prefered not to wear underwear, I would have loved to been able to be naked as often as possible, but truthfully, we really didn't have the warm climate and with my parents it would have been severely frowned upon.
I have a question because this sort of affected me when I was younger, because I wasn't but many were, and I actually believed my father was but turned out he wasn't, he was like me keeping his foreskin retracted on a permanent basis.
Are you circumcised, is your eldest son.? when you have your naked time together, if you are circumcised, and you eldest son, does your youngest have his foreskin retracted, to be like you. If you or your eldest son are not do you have your foreskin retracted in front of them, do any of you have your foreskin retracted.
If is he is the only one not circumcised, it may have a bearing, or not able to retract his foreskin where it stays back on it's own, where is eldest brother can or certainly should be able to
Another question Has your youngest son or either, for that matter, ever caught you, either masturbating or having sex.
In some ways in a very small way I was a bit like your youngest son. inventive, curious. energetic. sexually active, sexually curious, was pretty good in school, (did what he is doing put my hand up my shorts and pleasured myself while working away) (was quite into reading books on the subject, was into biology and the likes) had a very small adventure with others, looking and touching but never to mastubating one another (probably out of fear of getting caught more than anything).
If he hasn't ejaculated yet and we are presuming he hasn't, it's all building up inside of him ready to let go some day in the near future, and it if it's anything like what I experienced, it'll scare the sh*t out of him, I thought my penis had blown apart, didn't know what had happened.
Sadly that was the end of those great body trembling orgasms

Hi Penhltisues, I was ready to make another post about my boy when I saw your response. I will make that post after answering you.
Thank you so much for your response! As I have said before, I think most people are afraid to help me find answers to guide my son. It is not a topic that people find discussing easily. It was very tough for me to start talking about it. You have not just responded, you are also being extremely honest about yourself and I know it takes a lot of guts. In doing so, one always opens one self up to be criticized and that is not easy to handle.
It is always good to hear that my child is not the only one that discovered his body's abilities at a very young age and to hear from people that have done some similar things that he did. It makes me feel that he is a bit more normal than the community want us to believe.
You are right, his orgasms are dry. It will most probably be 5 or more years before he will start to ejaculate. He's body is very far from puberty.
You also asked about circumcision. In the country where we live the boys are very seldom circumcised. Non of us are circumcised, so luckily that is not a concern for him. And no, keeping the foreskin retracted is definitely not something we do.
You also asked if any of my two boys have seen me masturbate or having sex. No, they have not.
You also raised your concern that he will get a freight when he starts to ejaculate. I don't think so. I have explained it to both my boys.
Thank you again for posting. Do you think the way I have handled him up till now is okay?

I need a bit of advice again please.
I know my son knows that babies are made when a man and a women comes together but I am quite sure he hasn’t figured penile penetration out yet. I have asked him what he and the girl does and I think he had pretty much told me everything. They definitely do not penetrate.
My question is thus, must I explain it to him now to make sure they don’t start doing it or will the knowledge drive him to start doing it? At the moment it is not a problem because he is many years away from puberty, so an unexpected baby is very far from happening . I have told you before that both my boys are lagging far behind when it comes to physical development. I can see that it is starting to bother my eldest one but that is a discussion for another day. He is most probably two or three years away from it and I am quite sure my youngest one’s clock is running at the same speed as his brother’s.
So, do you think I must just keep quiet about the physical works of sex or must I explain it to him and then tell him to please not start doing it so that he will not have an unexpected child?
Not telling him, can result in they stumbling upon it (I am sure the girl will know how it works by now and may introduce it) and once he has started doing it, I don’t think he is going to stop the moment he hits puberty.
Telling him, can make him curious to try it.
I don’t know what to do. Once again I am at a decision that I am not suppose to be making for a ten year old! This child is making me old before my time.

On the lighter side, my son has started wearing his t-shirts as pants again. He use to do it in preschool up till about grade 1, I think. He puts his legs where the arms should go and then the neck part dangles between his legs. He walked around like this for the whole weekend and when we went out he just put pants on, over it. He says he likes the feeling of the material. It looks really very funny and it was our entertainment for the weekend.
I love him so much.

Hi Christian, thanks for reply, I noticed from your profile you are African,which is one of the continents which practice circumcision, I don't know your age, but guessing and the fact that you have two sons under thirteen, I'll guess somewhere in your thirties, at a push early forties. I just turned sixty, so if your parents were conservative, you can imagine what mine were like twenty years earlier. You started this tread about your youngest son swallowing tablets, which you used to enhance your love life, I believe you also stated that you had informed your sons of the purpose of these tablets. You have since related about your sons masturbation habits and techniques, I asked you a couple of questions, whether he had witnessed you having sex(of course the questions goes for anyone else as well that he may have noticed maybe other boys at school, (just brought back a memory to me, I was sat beside this boy in school, I was around six or so at the time, he may have been a bit older, but I don't think any older than a year, he was sitting on the inside of me,so no-one could actually see what he did or was doing except me, he would take his penis out push the foreskin back, revealing the head, and he'd develop an erection, which stood up straight ,it would stay that way for quite a while, and then if it began to subside, he'd give the head a little rub and it would spring back up for another while, in some ways I guess he was fascinated at this, as much as I was. may have been one of the reasons I started doing it myself, not in the class room though, but I did put holes in my pocket where I could feed my penis into, and play away with it to my hearts content without any one noticing hopefully)) that he may have picked up on.

Back to school days, or even using a urinal, Some of The older boys at a urinal would generally, show off, been bigger than the rest of us,(and I was quite small in that department anyway, even thought I was quite tall), some would retract their foreskin, some would achieved an erection, I've walked in on the odd one masturbating,similar later in life, with grown men, in toilets in the likes of pubs, discos etc.

I think you are doing a great job, for what it's worth, at least you don't chastise him. or scare the life out of him like what I went through, I don't know if you have gone into other sites or forums, but there are many, with stories and incidents from people from their childhood, relating to early sexual discovery, and these are just the tip of the iceberg.(I have posted on many, replied to many queries)

There is one other question though which might be worth looking into, How much of his sexual activity has increased since taking those tablets, or his general activity changed full stop, temperament, character,personality etc. It might be worth asking him what sort (outside of the erections he had) effect it has had on him, did he suffer any pain, headaches, nausea, if his erections where stronger, bigger than normal. indeed if they are since. The fact that he hasn't ejaculated, maybe be leaving a want or a need in him, which may not subside that easily.
It is pretty much established that some boys have erections in the womb, we may all do, but some have been documented through scans, others may be missed, as the erection may have subsided, it is also pretty much established that boys discover their erections (becoming aware of them) at around the age of two, hence the tugging at their genitals, through their clothes, probable because the foreskin wants to begin naturally retracting and allow the glans to appear and breathe fresh air, and hence the terrible two's syndrome. It is also the time when many begin to suffer, genital infections, from urinary track infections, to nappy rash and more. I firmly believe that the fact that young babies both male and female, are incassed in nappies (diapers), left unattended, or unchanged,is one of the primary cause of the problems, and some we endure later in life, such as problems with our foreskin, Their genitals are going to be incassed for years to come, and then we go to underwear, when does or genitals ever get a chance to breath, develop, grow.

"I think you are doing a great job, for what it's worth, at least you don't chastise him." Thank you Penultimates. I appreciate your kind words allot. I am never sure if I do the right thing and it is amazing what a bit of encouragement does. Anybody that replies on my posts always makes me feel less alone in my pursuit.

You asked about the influence of the pills. There were some side effects but nothing long term.
You must remember that me and my wife always knew that our youngest one was masturbating, and by that, I do not mean just playing with his privates like many other children do. Our older son also played with himself when he was small but it was never focused and with purpose like our youngest one and it never resulted in orgasm as far as we know. As I have mentioned before, we are quite sure that he had his first orgasm while humping in his diapers. So, yes, I suppose he could have seen other people doing it but I am quite sure he discovered it long before that.
So, if anything, the incidence with the pills, just made me more aware of the fact that he was not just busy with masturbation from time to time anymore but that it has in fact become something more. Remember the incidence during our holiday where he walked around naked during the night. That was a year before he took the pills. And also doing it in the bushes while watching the people past by, doing it in the reading corner in his class in grade 1, wearing “plastic underwear” to school, writing a letter in my wife’s name so he could go to the toilet more often, the two grown-ups he told me about… So I don’t think the pills had any effect on his current behavior or sex-drive because these things all happened long before he took the pills.
I think his sensitivity-disorder (fluctuating between feeling over-stimulated and under-stimulated) linked somewhere along the line with masturbation and he started to use it as a method for both stimulation and release, depending on how he feels. I don’t know if you have read my post where I have described a bit of his behavior when he becomes over stimulated. His much better nowadays but it was really tough when he was younger.
Penultimates, you mentioned cutting wholes in the pockets of your pants. Through my son I have realized that some boys can be extremely resourceful when it comes to masturbation methods. I have seldom seen him playing with his hands in his pockets but he has lots of other ways of doing it. I don’t know how he comes up with his ideas.
But my concern is really not any of his masturbation habits anymore. I find them funny or amusing from time to time but I am long past trying to control that. My big concern nowadays is the things he does with other people. That brings me back to the question about telling him about penetration.
Must I explain it to him to make sure they don’t start doing it or will the knowledge drive him to start doing it? As I have said before, at the moment it is not a problem because he is many years away from puberty, so an unexpected baby is very far from happening . So, must just keep quiet about the physical works of sex or must I explain it to him and then tell him to please not start doing it so that he will not have an unexpected child? Not telling him, can result in they stumbling upon it and once he has started doing it, I don’t think he is going to stop the moment he hits puberty. On the other hand, telling him, can make him curious to try it. So please, anyone, help me find a solution for this or at least try!

Hi Christiaan

It's a tough call to decide what to do I'm thinking with your sons curiosity and high drive for pleasure there is a good chance that the girl and him have figured out what to do either on their own or perhaps with the help of the internet or others.

I wouldn't think that not starting puberty is the issue to be concerned about here. He struggles to control the urges he has and age or gender doesn't seem to matter from what you have said in other posts. What he has been doing with the grade two boy and this girl are concerning and at ten he has already had many experiences with others of different ages.
Curiosity and experimenting is completely natural but there is a point where it can be unacceptable and dangerous or harmful if it is out of control.

He might benefit from the talk not so much on how or what to do but more along the lines of what is not appropriate and what is unacceptable.
Maybe you could try talking with your two sons together if you decide to have the sex ed talk with them.
If you decide to talk to him it might be better to try to find out what he knows and has done first rather than starting with the sex ed talk first maybe finding out what he knows and thinks will help you decide what you need to talk to him about.

In the end it is your choice and you have many things to consider to say the least but his safety and well-being along with the safety and well -being of the other kids has to be considered.
If this is still happening at the same public place or other places with the other boy and the girl I would be very concerned about who else is aware of what they are doing and if they are doing this sort of thing with other kids or possibly someone older.
The parents of the other kids could also have many concerns that should be taken into consideration.

Good luck.
.

Thank you for answering.
If he isn't lying to me, he sticks with only the four children he told me about. My agreement with him is that it may not be someone that is more than 5 years older than him. If he is telling the truth, he is actually keeping to the agreement. I don't think I want to take him for therapy again - I am glad I did but I don't think I must take him back again.
Perhaps I must try and persuade him to stop with the grade 2 boy. I know I can become strict again and tell him stop completely and many people most probably don't understand why I just don't do that. But I am 100% sure he will tell me that he did stop with it and then just carry on with it. At least he know talks to me and it seems as if he shares everything with me.
I have decided not to explain the full workings of sex to him yet. He told me what they do and it only involves masturbation and childish games.

I see it is more than 2 months that I have last posted anything! I can not believe it. My oldest son is turning 13 and 2018 is almost gone!

It’s been a, thankfully, uneventful two months in regards to my youngest one’s sexuality. Especially the last six weeks or so. It feels to me as if he has forgotten about it. I know it is most probably not true but he really do not show any signs of his previously common behaviour. I can not remember seeing his hands in his pants or rubbing his pelvis against something or any of the things he usually do.
The last time we talked about it was after he and his brother had a yelling competition. But before I tell you about that, I just want to tell you briefly about his play date with the 12 year old girl.
Ever since his birthday, they have been nagging for a play date but I was to afraid to let her come to our house. If something happens I will have no choice but to contact her parents and I don’t have the energy for that.
When her mother contacted me and asked if he could come and play, I immediately said yes. I would rather have something happening there and having them called me, than the other way around.
I was on edge the whole Saturday while he was there and the days after but they never phoned. About a week later I asked my son directly what he and the girl did and if her parents were unhappy about anything. He nonchalantly said that they masturbated but her parents didn’t see them. Then he said that they swam naked but her parents didn’t care. He just added that he wanted to go there when their exams is finished.

Now, for the other story, I want to start with my elder son. He is going through a rough time because he shows no sign of puberty yet. We have had good conversations about it but I think, as he nears his 13’th birthday it is something that is more and more on his mind and also, he will be going to high school next year (we only have two schools - gr. 1 - 7 is primary and gr. 8 - 12 is high school). A few weeks ago my youngest son thought it was fun to tease his brother about his lack of development. He told him that he looks like a ten year old (which is true). Then my elder son lashed back and said that he looks like an eight year old (which is also true) but it was like water on a ducks back for my youngest one. He made a come back and said that at least he’s got a 12 year old girlfriend. My eldest one got extremely upset and yell that at least he is not going to be a father one of these days. My youngest one yelled back and said that he could not have children yet, silly, he is only 10! Then my elder son ran to his room and slammed the door.

I was torn in two at that moment. I wanted to go and comfort my eldest one but the things that came out of their mouths bothered me so much that I immediately started to bombard my youngest one with a bunch of questions.
I think you will remember from my precious posts that, up to that point, I wasn’t even sure that he fully understood the workings of intercourse yet. So, that was my first question. He responded with quite a detailed description of how babies were made and also why he could not make babies yet. He also said that sex involves a lot of kissing while mimicking it. Then, without missing a beat, he explained gay sex to me too. My second question, obviously, was where he has learnt this. He laughed and asked me if I thought he was dumb. Apparently I told him about making babies and his 13 year old friend told him about guy sex. I asked him whether he have had sex yet. He reacted quite severely and it took me by surprise. He told me that he will never have sex until he is married because one should only have sex with someone you love. I then asked him what he would call the things that he did with his friends and he said that that was just playing. I then asked him if he thinks of the 12 year old girl as his girlfriend and he said no, she is just a friend, he is to young to have girlfriends yet. He said that he only said that to tease his brother and then, without me asking him to do it, he went to his brother and apologized - which was quite touching to me.

After that incident, as I have said before, it was as if he quieted down from all sexual things.

Hi Christiaan. I was just wondering how things are going with your boys. I can relate so much with your son. Unfortunately my parents were not that supportive. My dad didn't really had anything to do with me and my mom was extremely strict. I don't know how many hidings I got because of masturbation. I remember one day when I was not in school yet, I was playing with myself in the bath. When she walked in she pulled me by the arm and started hitting me with the brush on the butt. I cried but she just kept on hitting. It didn't made me stop. It just made me feel guilty. I use to have strange nightmares of my mother, forcing me to masturbate in public while everybody laughs at me while she hits me. I became more and more angry as I got older and became a bully. I also started doing things like using her pillow and bedding to masturbate with when she wasn't there to get back at her. When I started to ejaculate I ejaculated onto her underwear on purpose. I am 52 now and I still struggle with my sexuality. I just want to tell you that whenever you feel like you did not raise your boys the right way or if you think you made mistakes you really don't need to think that way. You raise your kids a hundred percent better than I was raised. Your boys are fine the way they are and they will become good men. They are lucky to have you and your wife. If you want to share more I will read it. I have struggled with my sexuality since I was a young boy and I think I have learn some things from it so perhaps I can be of some assistance for your boys.

Guest I feel for you buddy. I have no idea what you went through. I was really lucky to grow up in a small rural place where nakedness is still very natural. I visited my parents a few weeks ago and it is still like that. We boys often masturbated while swimming in the river. The small boys learned from the older boys. Some of the them even experimented with one another.