9 Year old boy took Maximor Advance. He's having constant erection, but no pain or sickness

We took him to bed at 8, last night, as usual. I saw his bed lamp go on at about 10 but he didn't call us. When I popped my head in to check on him he was busy with himself so I didn't bother him. After a while when I checked again he was asleep and I switched off the lamp.

He woke me up at about 2 in the morning. He usually wakes his mother up but he actually wanted me. He said he didn't feel well. After a few questions I realized he had heartburn (definitely something that he never had before/ I think it is quite a rare experience for kids). I gave him some Gaviscon.

At about 5 this morning I found him on the toilet. He said his tummy was hurting. He had a normal bowel movement. I rubbed his tummy until he fell asleep again. He slept until 7 when I woke him up to get ready for school.

He then complained a bit about the tip of his penis burning. He admitted that it is most probably because he played so much with himself since the previous day and during the night. I had a look at his glance but it wasn't bruised or anything. I gave him some Bactroban to put on.

He didn't want any breakfast but apart from that he seems fine. His penis isn't erect all the time anymore. It is just very sensitive to any form of stimulation. While he got dressed it became hard again and was still like that when I dropped him at school. It doesn't seem to bother him. He greeted me with a big smile, jumped out of the car, school bag on the back and sports-bag  in the hand and ran through the school gates as usual.

I am sure he is going to be fine but I do think he got a bit of a scare.

Tuesday evening he told me he had to go to the toilet quite often during the day (but at that stage his tummy wasn't running anymore) and that he was light headed twice (somewhere during mid day). He also said that he had an erection for most of the day. The slightest stimulation made him erect, like walking or bumping his book case unintentionally against himself and things like that. He still had no pain.
Although I think everything will be okay there is two things that bother me slightly.
Fist of all he has not really eaten much. He's lunch box came home untouched and he only ate one small potato for dinner. He also drank a big glass of water for which I am very grateful. Yesterday morning he again did not eat breakfast and he again did not touch his lunch box either and last night he ate three fish fingers. He did drink his whole water bottle during the day as I have asked him to. I have read on the Maximor leaflet that it can take decrease appetite so I am quite sure it will wear off.
The second thing that concerns me is his sexuality. Unlike his brother of 12 (who is still very much naive when it comes to the sexual workings of his body), he discovered his abilities at an extremely young age. I actually do not now when he discovered it for the first time but I have an idea he was still wearing diapers. When he started wearing underpants I often walked in on him. He would usually be only in his underwear and he has this interesting slapping thing that he does with his hands through his underwear and it definitely results in body spasms that I could only described as dry orgasms. I am very blessed in the way that he talks to me about absolutely everything so some were along the line we also started discussing these incidents and therefor I know for a fact that these are actually definitely orgasms.
I have honestly never had a concern about it up till now because it has never interfered with him being a well balanced boy. He has always been very actively involved in sports and he has lots of friends. His schoolwork is also okay. I suppose like most boys of his age we have to force him a bit to do his homework but that definitely has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he masturbates.
In any case, he has told me that he has really masturbated a lot the last three days. (He cannot remember how many times but it sounds to me like really allot! I don't know but it could be more than 20 times. I don't know if that is possible. It does not really matter how many times it was - it was a lot.) He has laughed while telling me this, so it does not seems like something that he is concerned about but I am concerned that this incident has focused him to much on it. He is only 9 years old. Most boys will not even discover this for the next 3 or 4 years! There is a big difference between just doing it from time to time and actually thinking about it. I don't want it to occupy his brain yet - there will be plenty of that when puberty hits but I will really like to spare him that for at least another 3 years! Perhaps the fact that he took the capsule in the first place has bothered me more than I wanted to admit at first. I am not so sure that it is mere childish curiosity. I am afraid that he has become bored with masturbation itself. He definitely does not understand what he is feeling. I think he is looking for something more exciting. I know him well and his masturbation sessions is all about excitement. It has absolutely nothing to do with sex as grown-ups see it. It is in exactly the same category as birthdays and the evening before you go on holiday! Can you still remember how exciting those events were for you as a child? He plays rugby and he absolutely lives for it. He has told me that every time after winning a match he just has to masturbate. So, I am afraid that he has become bored with normal masturbation and I am afraid what weird things a 9 year old brain can come up with to make it more exciting.
I hope that I am wrong. I hope that I will post in a few days time that everything is back to normal again.

It's been about three weeks now and it is in a certain way as I have feared but at the same time I am a bit less concerned about it.
He is definitely more focused on his sexual abilities and I think his sexual apatite is now closer to that of a young teenager. He's body is not near puberty yet. In fact, if I compare him with his pears he's lagging behind.
I have come to realize that I was right about his reason for taking the pills. It is not the first "exciting" thing he has done to add to his sexual experiences. There is a thick bush in our front garden, just next to the road. He goes into it, through the branches, to the middle. Then he takes off his clothes and waits until he sees people walking past and then he masturbates. He says it is exciting to see them and know that if they would stop and really look, that they would most probably see him.
I was afraid that he has developed an exhibition fetish but I don't think so. I asked him what he would do if some one saw him. He said that he would freak out and be extremely shy and then he told me the following.
When he was in grade 1 he went back to his class during recess to fetch his lunchbox. While in the class, he realized that he was alone. At the back of their class was a reading corner that was sheltered with some or other form of partitioning. He went in there, took off all of his clothes and started humping the cousins on the floor. The teacher walked in on him. While telling me this, he almost cried. He said that he was very ashamed. I think the teacher handled it really well. Apparently she said sorry for disturbing him but that she thinks it would be better if he put his clothes back on again before any of the other children see him.
He says that from that day onward he has always been very careful that people don't catch him off guard.
So, as you can see, I really don't think it is about exhibitionism. I just think it is ways of making the experience more exciting.
Sharing this with you feels as if I am betraying him a bit, so I don't want to share all his experiences. However, I do think there is reason for the following, because, to me, it is very good examples to prove my theory that he is looking for more excitement.
He said that sometimes, he gives himself missions and his prize for completing a mission is masturbation. Here are some of the missions:
He went to school without any underwear. He went to school wearing all his underwear at once. He made "underwear" from a plastic bag and wear it to school.
But the following is the most revealing. Last year, on our way to our holiday destination, he covered himself with a blanket on the back seat, next to his brother and took off his pants and underpants for the whole trip. During that same trip he sneaked out twice while we were asleep. The little holiday house that we rented was next to a river. His fist mission was to leave all his clothes in his room and walk naked to the entertainment center (there is an entertainment center with table tennis and pool and things in the resort), touch the table tennis table and come back and then swim in the river. Apparently that went quite smooth, so the next time he made it a bit more difficult. Again naked, he first went to the communal bathrooms where he ran himself a bath and had to give himself an orgasm while bathing. Then, all wet, he sneaked from shadow to shadow all the way to the front gate of the resort were there was apparently a specific tree where he had to hump himself to orgasm before he were allowed to move on. Then he went to the entertainment center and got into the swimming pool and used the water jet to give him an orgasm.
I was quite shocked when I heard the last story. My first reaction was: "What if some weirdo found you and hurt you?!" Remember, he was then only 8 years old and in grade two! And remember I have also told you that he is small for his age so many people mistake him for being 6! I scolded him for being so reckless and explained to him that it was extremely dangerous! Not everybody is as good as his grade 1 teacher!
That spoiled the mood, so he didn't share anything further with me. When I calmed down again, I told him that I really understand that it is exciting and I understand his need for it (which was a lie) but that I think he should stick to making plastic underwear and walking naked at home.

I have spent much time on what he has told me and I think I have learnt the following from it.
1. His masturbation is just part of a bigger need for excitement.
2. He is constantly discovering new ways to do it. (Perhaps I will share some of this at a later stage. I already feel as if I have said to much.)

The fact that I try to discuss my son's sexuality online just shows that I feel a bit out of my league - perhaps I am wrong but I do not think there is enough information available for parents like me. I can not find any really good research that has been done on child sexuality. I do understand that it is a difficult field to study but I can not help feeling that our paranoia about child molesting has blinded our ability to find scientific answers for people in my situation. Every time I try and search for answers, most articles, that pop up, are about child molesting. I DON'T NEED INFORMATION ABOUT CHILD MOLESTING. I NEED INFORMATION ON CHILD SEXUALITY AND HOW TO GUIDE A CHILD THAT HAS DISCOVERED HIS SEXUALITY AT A VERY YOUNG AGE.
I have two great sons and I have raised both of them the same way. The one just happen to develop a sexual interest at a later (or more normal) age and the other one almost seems being born with it.
I have posted the above on more than one site I have had only one reply. I appreciate that people don't just write any nonsense back to me but I can not help wondering if it isn't the same lack of knowledge that keep people from engaging in conversation with me. I suppose my youngest son is quite unique in this specific field - that is precisely why I struggle to always know how to help him with this.

Its unfortunate your son had access to the Maximor in the first place.
Even with it being a natural product a trip to the hospital is worth considering when a child takes any pills not prescribed to them.
How would your son know what Maximor is and why would he feel it is something he needs at 9. Hopefully this has changed where and how you store your medications.

Most of the other things you have mentioned is not normal behavior for a boy 9.
Exploring his body and discovering self-pleasure happens as many boys will hold onto their privates your son seems to have developed a very unnatural sex drive along with other behaviors that could put him at great risk.

Hopefully there are new rules strictly enforced about being naked outside of the house, leaving the house and pleasuring himself in public,

The behaviors of your son are concerning.
Your son doing all the things you have posted about is very concerning and taking him to see your doctor and hopefully a specialist seems like it would be justified.
His sexual interest and activities could easily go from his own behaviors to attraction and experimenting with other kids or older people.

Taking him to see a specialist for an assessment and finding out if there is an underlying cause to these behaviors should be done immediately.

Thank you for replying. As I have said before, people seem afraid to reply.

In your first paragraph you ask the question: How would your son know what Maximor is and why would he feel it is something he needs at 9.
He saw it one day in my bag and asked me what it is. I explained it to him. In my wildest dreams I never thought that he would take one. My other son has also asked me about the pills but he never had the urge to try one! I mean, honestly, who would ever suspect that your son will want to try one?
Replying to the second part of your question, why would he feel it is something he needs at 9. It’s got nothing to do with, he thinks he needs it. It was really just curiosity and the need for excitement.

Your post did convince me to take him for assessment. The following day I made an appointment a clinical psychologist. He saw him for 2 sessions and he referred us to another one who is more specialized in sexuality.
The whole ordeal was really unpleasant at first. My son was really upset with me. He was unable to explain to me why he was upset with me. I tried to give him words to describe his feelings, like anger, betrayed, lost of trust… Non of them seem to describe his feelings. He lost his temper quite often towards me and even started shouting at me. This is all quite different from his normal temperament and personality. He stopped talking to me out of his own accord and only answered questions in very short sentences. He didn’t share anything with me anymore and locked himself in his room. Unfortunately the doors in our house have lock knobs (no keys). I told him that I am going to unscrew the knob and take it away but I actually didn’t. He never locked his door before. In fact, both my boys never even closes their doors.
I cannot remember how I have stumbled upon it but one day I asked him if he thinks that I think that he is not good enough. He started crying and said yes. I was lost for words and just held him while he was crying. He said that I think that there is something wrong with him and that there is nothing wrong with him. On hearing this I was extremely upset and angry with myself and thought that I should have never taken him to the psychologist.
I told him that there is nothing wrong with him and that if there was really someone who had a problem, it was me for I don’t think I have the right skills to guide him good enough. I explained to him that I asked these people to help me, not because there is something wrong with him but because I do not have the necessary skills to raise a unique boy like him. As before I told him that he is unique in the sense that he has discovered his sexuality at an extremely young age. There is is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it shows that he is extremely intelligent (which he really is). These words calmed him down and broke his silence towards me.
The psychologist did play therapy and who knows what with him and they didn’t find any hint of sexual abuse or interference or any psychological deviations or concerns. He explained to me that it is not uncommon for children to stumble upon orgasms at an early age. His own theory is that some children discover it while humping. Humping is a very general way that babies pacify themselves and he thinks that a small percentage of children actually discover orgasms this way. In my son’s case I am absolutely sure that this is what happened. Further he described my son as pleasant, well mannered, energetic and extremely inquisitive. The psychologist and I sat down with my son and together we wrote an action plan of what is allowed and what not. We even worked in rewards if he sticks to the plan. I was pleased with the way the psychologist talked to my son. He used some of the same words that I used when talking to him and in that way confirmed what I have told him. He told my son that he must be an extremely intelligent boy for discovering orgasms at such a young age but now he must show us that he is grown-up enough to handle the responsibility that goes with it. I think that is really well said!
We have an appointment with him in a moths time again.

So, today is our first day of the action plan. We will see how it goes.
To be honest, I have a few concerns. He told me that, for those two afternoons that he has locked himself in his room, he was either naked the whole time or wearing all his underwear at once. He masturbated in different ways with the intent to hurt himself. He has a little porch outside his room with a sliding door. Apparently, one of the things he did was he humped against the sliding door extremely hard because he wanted the glass to break and cut him. He orgasmed several times but did not stop, even when it started to hurt. His foreskin pulled back as he humped and he left it like that and in the process his glance got bruised. After that it was extremely sore every time he masturbated but he did it anyway. He has never done something like this before! I discussed it with the psychologist and he said that it was because of the emotional state my son was in because he thought that there was something wrong with him and therefor deserved some kind of punishment or humiliation or something, showing that he is not worthy It also could just have been a way of trying to get back at me. If he got hurt, I would feel bad about treating him that way - cut your nose to spite your face type of thing. This last reason makes a lot of sense because we really did dig deep into his private life. A grown up would have felt exposed and violated, so I can just imagine what went trough my poor child’s mind!

I think what is also worth mentioning, is that my son told me that he hasn’t masturbated for the last two weeks. When I asked him why, he just said that he didn’t feel like it.

My eldest son asked me why we are taking his brother to a psychologist. He asked me if it is because he plays with his penis to much. I just smiled and said no, why, do you think he does? He said no and laughed and added something like, that is just who …(his brother’s name)… is.
I don’t want my eldest son to get hangups because of his younger brother’s struggles in life. If you remember, I have told you that he is still quite oblivious about the abilities of his body and has not really shown any interest in it yet, despite the fact that he is already 12.
He is a well balanced boy. He would often watch TV in is underwear in the living room or swim naked with us and so on but when it comes to his sexuality he is just not interested yet.
I am really afraid that this situation with his brother interferes some how. He is a sensitive child and pics up very quickly on other peoples moods and he has always been extremely caring towards his brother. Yes, they have their normal sibling rivalry but he is extremely fond of his brother. They have the ability to sometimes chat for hours - something that I have always cherished. I think it is quite unique. Me and my own brother are also great friends but we became better friends as we got older. To me it seems like these two boys of mine have always been like this. I have put a great deal of effort into them building a relationship since the younger one was conceived. I like to think that I have played a part in strengthening their relationship.
So, I don’t find it strange that he starts to ask questions - he is genuinely concerned. About two years ago my younger son broke a bone in his one foot when falling from a tree. His brother carried him into the house, hold his hand in the car on our way to the doctor, saying calming things to him, holding his hand in the waiting room, went with to the ex-rays and stood by when he got his cast. He is extremely caring towards people and especially towards me, my wife and his brother.
Somehow I think I need to discuss the situation with him but I am not sure how.

Although Sunday evening rattled me a bit, for the rest of it, this past weekend was really great for us all!
We have planned to extend the tree house in our back yard for the whole winter. We drew up plans and everything. Me “and my sons” build the first one when my eldest son was 8 and it is long due for an upgrade.

I came home a bit later than planned on Friday evening but I got a pleasant surprise. I found my eldest son and my wife watching TV and when I asked them where my other son is, my eldest son said something like: “Where do you think? Naked, in front of his computer!”
To me it was great news! I found him at his desk, sitting on his one leg, folded in underneath him and the other leg up on the chair with his chin resting on his knee. He was playing a computer game. It is the first time since we have started with the sessions at the psychologist that he has acted his normal self. He just pressed his head against my cheek when I greeted him and kept on playing his game. I stood and watch him for a while. He looked up twice and smiled at me. This is who he has always been.

Saturday morning we went and bought some wood and screws. On our way back the car already read 240C and it wasn’t even 10:00 yet. After carrying all the equipment into the back yard, we had a skinny dip and my wife brought us fruit salad and yogurt. I didn’t grow up with fruit salad for breakfast but my wife has made our kids fond of it. I must say, I have come to appreciate it…
My wife told us a funny dream that she had and that triggered the boys to tell about their dreams. We fetched the Bible and the dream books and started searching for explanations. It was a lot of fun and we unraveled and discussed a few important things about life.

Then it was time to start working! The boys started out very helpful. They just wanted to operate the cutting saw all the time - thankfully there was no reason to rush to the emergency rooms!
They lasted longer than expected but at the end I was working on my own. They still kept me company. They started be play one of their favorite games - construction. They brought all their digger loaders and trucks and built a big dam. On the one side there was a piece of irrigation pipe running through the wall, with a cork. That was to be able to let water run to the farming fields.
Somewhere during the day the amount of boys grew to 5. 2 of my youngest boy’s friends and 1 of my oldest joined us. Every time they wanted to jump into the swimming pool I first had to shout at them to house them down because they were full of mud.

In the afternoon I lit the fire for the barbecue and by 8PM we all were not just finished eating, we were dead tired! The two boys complained heavily when we told them to shower, so I bundled into the shower with both of them and we had the last laughs of the day.

Sunday morning we went to church. We went to a restaurant straight after and had an early lunch. Sometimes we do that if me and my wife wants to get in a good Sunday nap.
I heard the boys in the swimming pool as I dosed off. It was heaven!
At 4PM we went to the beach and had an ice cream.

The evening, when it was time for bed for my youngest one, he asked me if I could come and lay in his bed with him for a while. He knows that I only do that if he wear pants. Not that I think he has slept naked once since the sessions with the psychologists started.
So, after getting into bed with him, we spooned together. He pushed himself up into my chest and formed a small little bundle between my arms, pulling his legs right up to his chest. I thought that he was shaking a bit.
In a very formal matter he said that he needed to tell me something. This startled me because he has never done this before. He always just talks to me casually about absolutely anything.
He then told me about three incidents.
When he was 7 and in grade one he taught my brother’s son (his cousin), whom is two years older than him (so he was then 10), how to give himself orgasms through humping.
Last year he showed three of his friends (same age than him, so they were all 8 then - two of the boys were the one’s that came to play at our house on Saturday) how to use the pool cleaner (Baracuda) and swimming pool water jet on themselves.
On one other occasion he showed one of his friends (a year younger than him, so the boy was then 7) how to hump in the air (that’s how he described it) while wearing all his underwear at once.
I know that there are some of you who immediately would say, yes, I have told you so, this kid is molesting other kids. This is utterly untrue! He has not forced himself on anybody! He does not want to do anything with these boys and he doesn’t want them to do anything to him. He just wanted to share something, that he thinks is extremely cool. Like a secret or treasure that he has discovered. There are many boys who have learnt how to masturbate through friends and they have absolutely no trauma because if it. And yes, even as young as 7 or 8!
Him showing the other boys is not really what bothers me. What upsets me, is the way he came to me. It was like a confession. He was clearly feeling guilty about it. That guilt was not there a couple of days ago. I have inflicted this guilt on him through this whole process of “helping” him. I am not sure about what I am doing. I will never forgive myself if my so called help messes my child up! I am extremely confused at this stage!
It is been about three weeks now and he has not masturbated once. He never sleeps naked anymore. Friday evening was the first time I saw him naked in his room again and Saturday morning was the first time he skinny dipped. This is normal behavior for my eldest son but not for my younger one! He still says he doesn’t feel like it. I am not sure of it. I have asked him directly if he feels guilty but he says no. He said he has tried doing it but then he starts to think about his conversations with the psychologist and then he loses interest.
For the first time in my life I really do not know what is going on inside my child’s head. It is driving me mad!

I feel a bit better since my last post, in spite of the fact that the past weekend was a bit less fun in comparison with our previous one. Apart from a few obligations, I had some work to do and my eldest son started studying for his final gr. 6 exam. My wife helped him a bit although we are trying to push him to do his studying more and more on his own. My youngest one was a bit bored. So, on Saturday morning, after the boys had a Judo match, we dropped him at a friend’s house.

Apart from work, I have discovered some more interesting things about my little one. Luckily non of it is upsetting. It just helps me and my wife to understand him a bit better.
Like all people, both my sons have interesting and odd little habits and actions. The ones of the youngest boy, just happens to be more connected to his body and sexuality.
He was just out of diapers and into underpants when he started to do strange things with his underpants. I have already told you some of it. One of the things he also liked to do, is wearing them like a mask. I know that this is not so uncommon between boys. Their eyes look through the legs of the pants and it give them a super hero look, like Spiderman.
I always assumed that this was also the case for my youngest one, especially because my older one would sometimes join in and they would play superhero-superhero.
This past week I have found a different reason for it. For you to fully understand it, I must explain it a bit broader.
Firstly, I suppose, like most children, both my boys are not always fond of cleaning themselves. Piggy evenings are their best! If unchecked, they will go without bathing or showering, for days at end.
Secondly, me and my wife went and had some breakfast on Saturday while the boys had Judo. Like on so many occasions, instead of talking about ourselves, we ended up talking about our boys. I have always known that my youngest one often goes without underwear but my wife said that he hardly ever wear them anymore because they stay clean in his drawer. From time to time there will be a lot in the washing at once or she will find them tangled together on the floor. By know we know why. But, she added the following. From somewhere between the end of last year or the beginning of this year, she has not only found his own underwear in his room but also some of his brother’s and some of mine. At first she thought it was her that just mangled up the washing but then she found them also tangled together with his. In the middle is usually his speedo’s and mine would always be on the outside. So, he does it to make the pack of underwear even thicker. She says it is sometimes more than 30 pairs of underwear!
When ever he goes shopping with her, he always runs off to the boys’ and men’s section and she always find him looking at the underwear and then he would beg her to buy him a pair. He has many different types: briefs, boxerbriefs with short legs, medium legs and long legs. He has even asked her about the men’s thongs and tried to convince her to buy him a pair.
Although he doesn’t ride his bicycle that often, he has also convinced her to buy him two pairs of cycling pants. He often wears them at home. These, she also sometimes find between the entwined heap of underwear.
Me and my wife’s conclusion is that he has an underwear fetish although he doesn’t really wear them for the reason they are made for.

He has a big teddy bear and he always clothes the bear in his own clothes. Underwear, pants, shirt and sometimes even socks and shoes. His other soft toys are also often dressed, especially in underwear.

Coming back to my original story about my son wearing his underwear as a mask, I have seen him done two interesting things the last few days. On Friday evening we had a function at church and during the evening we ended up together in the bathroom. He stood next to me at an urinal. When he was finished, he took out a tissue and patted the tip of his penis. When I asked him why he does it, he said it is because he is not wearing underwear and he doesn’t want his pants to smell. I found it very interesting that a boy of 9 even think of something like that.
Sunday afternoon, me and him went to the shop to buy something sweet. On our way there, he did something that he only does when me and his brother is with him, never when his mother is with. He pushed his hand down the front of his pants but then he did something new. He often took his hand out and smelled it. After a while I asked him if he liked the smell. He smiled and said yes. Then he went on, out of his own accord, and told me the following. He loves the smell of his penis. He sometimes wear the same pair of underwear for two days without taking a shower and then he put the underwear over his face. He says he likes the smell allot. He made it clear that he doesn’t like the smell of urine though and that’s why he always try to make sure his penis is dry after going to the toilet.

On Sunday I saw him doing something that I haven’t seen him do in a while. He made himself a suit from a plastic, shopping bag. He use to do it a lot a year or two ago. He guts holes for his legs at the bottom and his arms goes through the “handles” wear you would carry the bag. Seeing him like that made me realized just again how small he still is. It is incredible that his body fits into such a tine bag. In any case, he usually imagine him being from space in his special space shoot. On Sunday he built a space station and space craft with blankets and boxes and at the end it must have looked so inviting to his brother that he actually joined in. At one stage they were trying to make a plastic-carrier-bag-suit for him to but they couldn’t find a big enough bag. The younger one suggested a black garbage bag but the older one didn’t like it.

My son also told me, since my last post, that he has finally masturbated again, last week Wednesday, in one of the school toilet stalls, after his team won their rugby game.

So, to summarize: My boy has not shown any risk behavior over the last month. He has not put himself in any danger. He has reacted, originally, not very well when we started to go to the psychologists. He started out over indulging in masturbation and was trying to hurt himself. Then he stopped masturbating completely and changed his normal behavior.

On Thursday, we have our next appointment with the psychologist. I think the main reason for the appointment is to see if he has stuck to the rule of not putting himself in dangerous situations. That he has done.
At our first meeting, the psychologist asked us if there were incidents at different places, among other things, anything that happened at school. I told him about the incident in grade one and apparently my son also told him about it at the followup.
That made me think, so I made appointments with his teachers for next week. Unfortunately his grade 2 teacher went to another school but I got appointments with his grade 1 and 3 (his current teacher) teachers.

Just a bit of feedback after my two visits two my son's teachers.

I don't know if nobody reads my post or if they are just to afraid to answer.

At the meeting with his grade 1 teacher I told her what my son told me about the incident in the reading corner. She blushed and said that it was a first for her and it really took her by surprise. I thanked her for the way she handled the situation and told her that I thought she was brilliant.
On asking her if there were any other incidents or reasons for concern, she told me that he was definitely not the most “active” boy that she has ever had in her class up till now but, when he was busy with himself, he was definitely the most focused. She said that he never played with his hands in his pockets as many of the other boys do and he never stuck his hands into his pants; in any case, not in front of the rest. She laughed shyly and said that she knows that he often didn’t wear underpants. On many occasions she had to whisper in his ear to close his legs during mat-work. She even told him on more than one occasion that he should rather wear underpants if he wear shorts but it never really went in.
Anyhow, she said that sometimes, not often, when he had to do some work on his own at his desk, he would massage himself through his pants and when he wore shorts, he use to put his hand up the leg. When doing this, he was very focused. She didn’t say anything further, so I asked her straight, if she thinks, that he was not just playing around but that he was actually masturbating. She became very shy and said that it was definitely the case because it had visible results and afterwords he would stop doing it and carry on with his work. She didn’t know how to handle it and because non of the other kids ever noticed it, she decided not to interfere but somewhere towards the end of the year, he looked up towards her desk, where she was sitting, right at the moment that he had his orgasm and their eyes met. She says she will never forget his face. He didn’t make a sound but tears where immediately flowing over his cheeks. Her natural reaction was to go up to him and hug him. She took him outside the class and told him that if he ever feels the need for doing it, he must come to her and she will let him go to the bathroom. That was the last time she saw him doing it in class. He did ask to go to the toilet from time to time but whether it was for a wiz or what ever, she won’t know.
I again sang her praises for the way she handled my son. I really do think she is a great care taker and teacher.
Two days later I had my meeting with his current teacher. On asking her if there has been any strange incidents during class that she thinks I must know of, I could clearly see that she had no idea what I was talking about.
It took a lot of courage to explain to her that my child had shown some behavior that could raise some eyebrows and put him to risk. She was very surprised to hear it. She described him as a bright and alert kid that most of the time gave her his full attention.
I asked her if he often asks to go to the toilet. Then she said something like: “Oh, yes, I have received the letter that your wife sent me at the beginning of the year concerning that.”
My 9 year old son, then still 8, because he turned 9 on 29 July, fraud a letter to the school, saying that he has a bladder problem and needed to go to the toilet quite often. I didn’t say anything to her about him typing the letter himself.
She asked me if his condition is becoming better because he doesn’t really go to the toilet that often anymore. Perhaps once or twice a week. Apparently there were occasional weeks where he went quite often but it could not have upset her because she cannot really remember when it happened.
As I got up to say goodbye, she said that there is perhaps one little thing. I froze and thought, oh boy, here we go, but it turned out not to so bad. Apparently he has this thing that he does when he brings his work up to her table for her to check. As she described it, I immediately recognized it. Whenever I explain something like Maths to him at home at our dining room table, he does the exact same thing. He position himself at the corner of the table, folds his arms on the desk and lay on them. His back arches and he pushes his knees on either side of the leg of the table and then he just rub himself slowly, moving side to side.
“It’s really no big deal”, she said. “Please don’t tell him that I told you. He doesn’t even know that I notice it!”

Where to start? The last two months had ups and downs. I don’t know if I have the guts to write this thread. It usually does help though, to get everything off my chest. Even if nobody really have answers for me.
I am just going to start with the last few weeks of last year and then see how far I get. Things are feeling a bit confused right now inside me. I will try my best to make some sense out of it.
My eldest son was writing exams and me and my wife were both piled up in our work. I realise that many things have most probably escaped me surrounding my youngest one. However, the psychologist was very happy with his progress. He said that my son understands what type of behavior puts him to risk and what actions can offend other people. So, he recommended that we only need to see him at the end of January again.
The school reports came and I am very proud of both my son’s reports. They did very well.
My mother looked after the boys for the first week and a half of the school holidays because me and my wife were not on leave yet. My boys had sleepovers, both at friends and at our home. They wanted to sleep in the treehouse, which is quite adventurous, because it is more like a wooden box than the great treehouses you see on TV. So, we told them that the two of them can first have a try out before they invited friends to do so. Last Friday evening was the big day. We had a barbecue and at about half past ten, me, my wife and mother started watching a movie on TV and the boys went into their treehouse with lots of snacks. When our movie was finished I went to check on the boys. They seemed fine; I could here them chat from outside the treehouse. We, grown-ups went to bed and to my surprise, the two of them were still in the treehouse the next morning when I woke up. They only showed their faces at about 10:00 and that is most probably only because I said out loud that I had made some bacon and eggs, if they wanted some. I took everything outside and we all had breakfast under the trees.
The two boys looked sleepy and weren’t keen on answering the grown-up’s questions about their adventure. But, somewhere along the line my youngest one suddenly remembered something. All sleepiness was gone in an instant. His eyes lit up and he immediately demanded that I must come with them, because they have something to tell me. He was quite upset when I told him that we are first going to finish breakfast and kept on moaning until we were finished.
The boys took me to the side and then my youngest one blurted out that my eldest son has started to masturbate. My eldest son looked sheepish and my first thought was that my youngest one had taught him how to do it during the night but my youngest one just kept on talking and described how his brother had showered one morning during his exams and kept on washing his penis for a long time and then suddenly had an orgasm. While my youngest son bounced up and down with excitement, my eldest one’s head hang down and he was staring at the ground. I gave him a big hug, which my youngest one joined in. They really differ so much! I told the boys that we would celebrate the event with McDonalds for lunch. It seemed to be the right reaction from my part, because my eldest son looked up at me and gave me a broad smile.

I suppose many of you also have children that differ so much from each other but I must be honest with you, it confuses me tremendously! My eldest son is more like me. I have been very shy about my sexuality while growing up. I think I still am. My wife sometimes teases me about it. I am very conservative and me and my wife both married as virgins. I would like that for my boys too.
Me and my parents never talked openly to each other about sex while I was growing up. I never even saw my dad naked. My mother gave me a book when I was in grade 7 and that was that. The parts that I didn’t understand came bit by bit from friends as I tried to build the puzzle. I remember how embarrassed I was about my nightly emissions and how I washed my pj’s and tried to let them dry where my mom could not find them.
I made a choice that it would not be the same for my children. When my first born arrived, I deliberately forced myself not to turn away from him when dressing and I introduced skinny dipping. It wasn’t that easy; it didn’t come naturally to me. I do however think that I made a good job of it. He wasn’t shy being naked in front of me and I think, when he was about five, he came running to me, very anxious about his little erection that didn’t want to go down. He is a private boy but has come to me when ever he had issues or questions.
So, I thought that I was on the right track. Then my second boy arrived. Absolutely everything about him was different! First of all he cried non stop. When he started to crawl, he use to get himself into all kinds of dead ends, crawling into small corners, underneath things and even pulling himself onto things that toppled over. We thought that our house was baby proof but with him, everything seemed a possible threat. He had so many bumps and bruises that I was afraid that someone would think we hurt him. As he started to walk, he tried to climb up absolutely everything. We constantly had to watch him. My eldest son made himself the appointed guardian of his younger brother. It was really cute to see. He walked behind him where ever he went and tried to help him. Many times they both ended up flat on the ground and then they would either be rolling around laughing or crying. My younger one would become extremely frustrated and angry with his older brother if he took him off a chair or wall or something high that he was trying to conquer.
Then of course there was the humping. He was a humper since he was a baby. That was his natural way to make himself go to sleep. You can think how embarrassing that was for a conservative person like me, especially in front of my mother or friends. I was even shy about it in front of my wife! As if this boy represents men in general and my wife would think that we men are perverted. It freaked me out! I googled it and most probably read every single thread that was ever posted about it. Interesting though, is that it was my mother that calmed me down about it. She was the one that told me that it is quite common in both boy and girl babies and that I should not be concerned about it. I still turned him on his side or back when ever I saw him doing it but that made him cry and in any case he would be back at it with in a few seconds.
The other thing that freaked me out was him being naked almost constantly. You would dress him now, make one turn, and he would be out of his clothes again. Sometimes we would just give up and let him run around like that. Dressing or buying clothes became more and more difficult. He freaked out because his socks or underwear were to tight or his shirt were hurting him. Anything that touched his neck, like a jersey or top irritated him.
His pediatrician recommended some tests and specialists and we learned about words like synaesthesia, tactile sensitivity, hypersensitivity, sensory processing issues and even autism spectrum. They said that he show signs of both hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity.
Being naked was okay over weekends but when he started to go to play school it became a problem. I take my hat off to child care givers! Apparently he wasn’t the only boy like this. I don’t know how they fixed it but apparently he started to keep his pants on after a while. But that was as far as they got it because many days when me or my wife picked him up he would only have his pants on; no shirt and no underpants.
I have never really connected his humping and masturbation with his sensory processing issues. I remember reading about it and I suppose it was always in the back of my mind but because neither his pediatrician nor his occupational therapist ever mentioned it and my mother and wife’s way of handling it and calming me down about it, made me ignoring the idea. Also, it was never really a social problem. He stopped doing it in front of other people by the time he was old enough that we could explain to him that it was a private matter. But since my visit to his teachers I now know that that is not totally true.
A couple of things have happened over the holidays. I came to some new insights into my child’s life but I have also discovered more major concerns. I will cover some of them. It is easier for me to start with something less concerning and that is insightful.
We rented the same cottage next to the sea that we usually rent at this time of the year. If we go to the beach we usually set our umbrella up at the bottom of some dunes. We go early in the morning because there is not a lot of people yet and the wind is usually quiet. My younger one would sometimes disappear behind the dune. I never went and have a look what he was doing because by now I know that it would be the same thing as previous years. He would be rolling around naked in the sand or walk on his knees through the reed type of grass that grows on the dunes. I am almost hundred percent sure now that this is all part of his hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity. There are other days that he would never touch the sand. On these days, when he was younger, he would cry and beg us to go home but as he got older he would just wear shoes and sit on his towel, under the umbrella, for the whole time.
He has always had this way of sometimes feeling things with his fingers and pressing his cheek against it. Some evenings we need to tuck him in and other nights he don’t even want a sheet near him, sleeping without any clothes. On these nights he doesn’t want to hear a bed time story or anything. He just wants us to leave him alone. When he was younger, many a night me and my wife would find him ice cold on his bed but if we covered him, he would just through it off again. Before baths we first ask if it is a hot or cold night because sometimes the water must be hot and other times it must be cold.
I can carry on with examples but I think you get the idea. The thing is, I am sure his masturbatory activity is linked to both his hyper- and hyposensitivity. When he is hypersensitive, his orgasms acts like an antidote. It breaks the hypersensitiveness. Then again, when he is hyposensitive, he sometimes just wants to be able to feel something. Masturbation sometimes gives that to him. I intentionally make a distinction between masturbation and orgasms because my son definitely does. He says that when he feels out of control (the way he describes his hypersensitiveness) he wants to be alone, away from everything and everybody. Usually his own room. He then wants to get as many orgasms as possible, as fast as possible.
Then, he describes times where everything feels boring. Not even his food tastes good. He doesn’t really feel the need to masturbate but he does it in the hope that it will make him feel something. He doesn’t really want the orgasm to come. He is almost disappointed when it happens. He says, when he feels out of control, with each orgasm he feels better. But the other times he prefers it if it takes really long for the orgasms to come because the longer he is busy with it, the better he starts to feel.
But then, it seems to me, that sometimes his body is hypersensitive but not oversensitive. He is aware of everything around him. He is aware of every single piece of clothes that he is wearing. He smells everything around him. He hears everything. His body craves it all. It is then that he would do things like roll around in a pile of his clothes, bedding, towels.., wear all his underpants at once, go naked in the garden or swimming pool, rub himself against walls, trees, mud… He says when he rolls around naked in a pile of clothes or sand or what ever, it not only feels good but he also loves the smell of it and the sound it makes. I am sure me and my son had a breakthrough when we realised this because now it makes sense why he sometimes do the things he does. We talked about the times he use to masturbate in the bush in our front garden. He says that hearing and seeing the people passing by was as if his body was exploding with excitement. He told me that one of his friends walked by with his family. He heard his friend’s voice before he could see him through the branches. I don’t want to be to explicit, so I’m not going to tell you what happened, only that his body reacted in an extremely strong way. That is the same reason why, during last year’s holiday, he gave himself missions to do.

Then, as I have said, I have also discovered more major concerns.
I quote the guest that replied about 4 months ago to my thread:

“His sexual interest and activities could easily go from his own behaviors to attraction and experimenting with other kids or older people.”

You already know that my son taught his cousin and some friends how to masturbate. It doesn’t really bother me because it is quite common and normal between boys but during our holiday at the resort, he developed a strong relationship with a boy of 15. This boy, like my sons, also likes fishing. Both my boys spent a lot of time with this boy but my youngest one more so. At one time I asked my youngest one directly if he and the older boy ever talks about sex and whether they masturbate together. I didn’t want to put ideas in my child’s mind but by now I think we are past that and when I am concerned I must ask him these questions directly. Doing it with peers is one thing but this boy is a teenager and the age gap is 6 years! In any case, my son told me that they have talked about sex but that they do not masturbate together. I asked him what they have talked about and everything he told me was stuff that I knew my son already knew. He also said that the boy was surprised that he knew what masturbation was. If he told me the truth, there wasn’t really anything to be concerned about but I, in any case, asked him to not spend to to much time with the boy if his brother was not with him. He asked me why and I just said, please, do it for me.
Over time I discovered that my youngest son was not honest with me. The boy’s dad caught the two of them walking around, naked, in the camp in the early hours of the night. The boy’s father was in an absolute panic when he came and told me the following morning and said that he is going to punish his son severely and that he is really sorry and that his son will never bother my children again. I realised right there that my son was most probably more the culprit than this boy, so I asked his father to stay for coffee so that I could explain something to him. It was extremely difficult for me, but I told the dad everything about my son. Then I was the one that said sorry. I asked him if he will permit me to talk to his son and mine together. I was extremely grateful when he agreed to it.
I first talked to my son alone to try and find out exactly what they have done up till now. He confessed that they often masturbate together. He confessed that, like last year he has had nightly missions again and that the boy went with on some of them. He also confessed that they have masturbated one another a couple of times. I asked him whether it was the boy that asked him to do it or whether it was him that asked the boy. He said that it was him that invited the older boy to go on missions with him and that it was him that asked the older boy if they could masturbate one another. He said that the older boy didn’t want to do it but he begged him until he said yes.
I was without words. I really didn’t know what to say. I got up and just walked away. My child was extremely upset. He grabbed my arm and started to cry and pleaded that I must not go. I also started to cry and then picked him up and just held him against me. I cannot try to explain to you what emotions went trough me. I had no idea what to do. I carried him to the river and sat down with him on the bank. “I am really sorry, daddy”, he just kept on saying. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I do all these bad things.” He then went on and confessed even more. This boy wasn’t the first older person he has convinced to do things with him.

Hi
Your son must be going through so much with what seems to be uncontrollable urges and desires that he probably doesn't understand for the most part.
it's unfortunate this has led to him experimenting with older boys at his age he is no doubt overwhelmed with the feeling and attractions he has for other boys and understandably he is not able to resist them.
At has age he would not be able to resist the temptation its to bad the 15 year old boy didn't use better judgement.
Hopefully with the help of his therapist and yourselves that you can at least stop his experimenting with older boys.
Lots of support and understanding along with explaining that for the most part what he is doing is ok explaining his masturbation and going without clothes has to be limited to his room. Hopefully he will be able to resist the things he likes to do with the older boys and limit where he goes without clothes.
Hopefully he will learn that he doesn't need to lie about what he does or try to keep them a secret and that telling you and his therapist about everything is the best way to help him deal with these things.
I would think he and his brother are also experimenting with each other so talking with his brother about how he feels about what has been going on wouldn't hurt.
Hope they are able to find ways to help him deal with these things and that he learns that most of the concerns around this are just because your trying to keep him safe.

Thank you for replying to my post. I appreciate it tremendously! We have been to the psychologist today and he referred me and my wife to a colleague of him. In the mean time he will carry on with my son. He thinks that me and my wife also needs support. It is interesting that you mentioned my older son. The psychologist asked us to make an appointment for him too. I really do not think there is any experimentation between them but perhaps my judgment isn’t as good as I have thought it to be. I just think it will be good for all of us to talk to some one.

Sorry about my last post. I know I left my thread in mid air but I was a bit upset. You talk about his attraction for other boys. I don’t know? It is more than an attraction to any specific gender or age. It’s a sexual curiosity that I really do not understand. I have come to realise that he is extremely cunning in his ways to get what he wants. I want to try and push through today. It helps me to say these things out load. Some people may think that I am washing my dirty laundry in the open but to me it is really a way of gathering my thoughts and trying to make sense of it all. At first I thought that I was seeking advice but now I know that nobody can really tell me what to do. They can brainstorm with me and help me think but there doesn’t seem to be a definite answer.

I ended my previous post, saying: This boy wasn’t the first older person he has convinced to do things with him.

Early, last year, my son met a lady while he was cycling. I am going to try to write his story as chronological as possible from the unorganized bits of information that he has given me.
He said that she was in the front garden when he passed her house. He greeted her as he passed by and she was very friendly back to him. He described it as being very exciting. He was aware of the fact that he was only in his cycling clothes. After that he often cycled passed her house in the hope that she would be outside. Sometimes she was and then they would wave to each other. A few days went by that he didn’t find her outside, so he stopped and went to ring the bell. He said that he was so excited that he was trembling. Another lady opened the door. The lady that he was looking for, was renting a flat attached to their house. The landlord took him to this women and she invited him in. The way he describes her, sounds to me that she is in her late twenties or early thirties. He said that when he saw her, he struggled to breath and talk. It felt as if he was naked in front of her. It was very awkward. She asked him if he wanted cool drink. They drank cool drink while she asked him questions about his name, age, where he lived and his school. Then he left.
After that, it became a regular thing. He would go and have some cool drink and they would sit on her couch and chat and then he would leave. He was always in his cycling clothes and every time he left her house, he would go into the bush in our front garden and masturbate while he imagine himself doing it in front of her.
His visits became more regular. He would sometimes watch TV at her house or play computer games. Sometime, he would deliberately touch himself through his cycling pants in the hope that she would notice it. He started to masturbate in her bathroom. One day, he went swimming at a friends house and walked back home, only in his speedo, with a towel around his waist. He first stopped at this ladies house. While they were drinking cool drink, he took of his towel. For the rest of the time he was there, he was only in his speedo. He had an erection and knows that she could see it. He laid on her couch and watched TV, while she was busy with something else. He pushed his hand into his speedo and played with himself while laying on his back. She would walk in from time to time to fetch something but he just kept on playing with his hand inside his speedo. He said she smiled at him.
From then on wards he always had his hand in his cycling pants when watching TV or playing computer games at her house. He also started taking off his cycling shirt and be only be in his pants. When he went for a swim at his friends house, he would always go past her house and first have a cool drink, only wearing his speedo.
One day, he decided to wear briefs underneath his cycling pants. He went to her bathroom while he was there and masturbated in his briefs and then through his briefs into her laundry basket.
The next time he went there she handed it to him, neatly washed and folded. She asked him why he had left it at her house. He panicked and tears started rolling down his cheeks. She hugged him. Then he told her everything. About his masturbation in the bush and then also in her bathroom.
According to him she was extremely surprised but she didn’t freak out. She made them both coffee, although he doesn’t really drink it. Then she had a bunch of questions. She asked him how a boy of his age knew about masturbation. She asked him about his relationship with me and his teachers. She obviously thought that he had been molested.
After a while she started to ask him questions that sounds to me more like interest. She said that she didn’t know that a boy of his age could masturbate. He then told her some stories from preschool and she asked him a lot of questions about that too. He needed to explain to her that a preteen boy could have orgasms although they don’t ejaculate yet. She then asked him again why he had thrown his briefs in her laundry basket if he doesn’t ejaculate yet. I suppose she meant, why throwing it in the washing if it wasn’t dirty. He said his tears started to roll again. He told her that he wanted her to know that he was masturbating in her bathroom and then, apparently, he asked her if he could show her how he does it. She said no and then he started to beg her. She asked him to leave but he didn’t, he got up, pulled down his pants and started playing with himself in front of her. She asked him to please stop an leave but he just carried on until he was finished. He said it was so powerful that he toppled over. She helped him up and asked him to get dressed. She told him that she thinks it would be better if he doesn’t come to her house for a while. He stayed away for one day. She smiled when she opened the door. He was back to his routine of taking off his cycling shirt and putting his hand in his pants while watching TV and playing computer games but every time he came close to orgasm he would push the front of his pants down until he was finished. He started to take one of his speedos with and would change into it at her house. So it became his habit to wear a speedo at her house and masturbating on her couch and in front of her computer. When I asked him where she was during all of this, he said busy, in the kitchen or her room or something. I asked him if she knew what he was busy doing and he said yes. He said that she got mad at the beginning but after a while she just left him alone. He also said that she would ask him some questions about it from time to time but I couldn’t get it out of him what they talked about. He would just say stuff. She moved away at the end of last year and he said that it was very upsetting for him. When he said that I could clearly see that he was emotional about it.
I am not sure if everything happened like this but it is obvious that my boy had a well thought out plan and knew exactly what he wanted.

He also told me the following. During the third term of last year he was busy watching a rugby game at his school. His game was already finished and they have won. He said that, because of that, he was extremely aroused but he didn’t want to do something about it yet. He wanted to do something more exciting.
By that time he has already been at the dressing room and has taken off his underpants. He was only wearing his rugby shorts. He had a constant erection and would sometimes push it upwards so that the elastic of his pants catches the tip of his penis and hold it up like that. Apparently it is something he often does when watching rugby at school.
He was watching the game and made some conversation with some of the parents next to the field. He realized that, every time he pushed his penis up like that, one of the men looked at him and smiled.
My son went up to him and started to talk to him, asking him if his son was on the field and so on. While talking to him he started to push his penis upwards on purpose to see the guy’s reaction. Every time the guy would look and smile. After a while he asked my son if there was something in his pants that was bothering him. My son said yes. Then the guy asked him if he knew how to take care of it. My son said yes. So, the guy asked how. My son said to him that he is going to slap his willy with his fingers. Isn’t that painful, the guy asked. My son said no, it feels good. Does something happen after a while, the guy asked and apparently my son reacted with a load yes and mimicking the reaction of his body. The guy then asked him how old he was and when my son said 8, he didn’t want to believe him. He said that he was six. My son said no and told him that he was in gr. 3. The guy didn’t want to believe him. Then the guy asked him if, what he has shown to him, really happens when he plays with his willy. My son said yes. The guy apparently said it is amazing. When my son asked him why it is amazing he replied that he didn’t know that someone that young were capable of doing it. Then my son told him that he has been doing it for many years but the guy didn’t believe him.
The guy then said to him, with a big smile, that he thinks it is time for him to go to the bathroom and take care of it. My son replied that he is on his way there but if he is not back in 5 minutes the guy must please come and look for him because then something has happened. The guy asked him, like what? Then my son told him to come and have a look.
My son then went to the bathrooms but the guy did not follow him. He chose the last stall in the row. He left the door slightly open. He took all his clothes of and started doing his thing. After a while the guy did come in. He came to the stall and stood in the opening of the door and watched him. My son stepped onto the lid of the toilet and kept on doing what he was doing until he was finished. He got dressed and they walked out together and went back to the match.

I really do not have any words. Up till now I was able to hide my feelings when he told me things but now it is just impossible. We have talked about the emotional impact of a sexual relationship but I don’t think he understands any of it. I don’t know if it is the wrong thing to do but I have even given him examples of how boys have been hurt by older people. We have googled some really gruesome stories.
We have restricted his away-from-home-time as much as possible. He’s not aloud to stay at school after his rugby practices and matches and he’s not aloud to cycle or walk to friends anymore. I don’t know.

I see I just posted as a guest. I replied through my mail and didn't realise that I wasn't logged in.