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Hello,

I am very new here and have come here under a new name bc of lurking people who know my usualy name. Anyway I am 24 and I am married with a 14 week old baby girl (3 months) anyway, we have recently learned that I am 5 weeks pregnant! Now I know I am going to sound like a horrible person for considering aborting this pregnancy BUT i hope i will get not only some support but also ofcourse blunt advice.

Soooo I hada high risk 1st pregnancy, a c-section with my daughter and my scar and stomach still hurt quite a bit, i am also worried about what i might be putting my body through... 2 pregnancys so close and 2 c-sections within 1 year! my new baby would be due 1 month before my 1st child turns 1 yr, and let's just say I am terrified of raising 2 under 1yr! I know these are all excuses but at this point we don't own a home, we live with my father (mother passed in the summer) and I feel like we will never get out of here. we will have to buy a bigger car and my husband will probably have to get a part time job in addition to the 10hr days he puts in at work, especially since i probably won't get maternity leave for the second since i am not working this year.

so there is the part of me that is feeling ok let's abort and life will go back to normal... i can focus on our daughter and give her the parental time she needs! we do want more children but are not financially ready 1 bit! and i am terrified of what my body might go through since my 1st pregnancy was already a high risk one!

with all that said there is the other part of me who worries it may be the son to complete our family. i worry i will regreat this choice as i grew up catholic and believing abortion is murder! now here i am making that decision. i also worry later in life when we are in a house of our own and want a family we might not be able to get pregnant and i will blame myself.

at this point my husband supports which ever road we choose but i know he leaning towards aborting. and yesterday all i could think of was having this baby! today all day long all i could think of is what mught happen to me or this baby (low birth weight etc... my doc said there are lots of positives and negatives) so all i could think of was aborting and enjoying my baby right now.

i don't know what to do! my doc says most women feel relieved afterwards but some feel regret....

any advice good or bad i guess would be appreciated... i would love to hear from women who have had an abortion and your feelings afterward... did you already have children?

thanks so much!

i hope women won't bite my head off.... if you feel abortion is wrong fine tell me you have the right to say it but in other forums people were telling me religion is BS and if i was going to raise my kids catholic i should abort! please keep opinions like that to yourself!

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Health Ace
6523 posts
hey there,

firs off let me say that i am truly sorry for the loss of your mother and of how ignorant and crule others on other forums can be. im sure if you look around here you will find most everybody is very nice and caring. there are the occasional ones who try to add misery to everyones lifes but we kindly tell them to nock it off or leave.

i too believe that abortion is murdur and a sin against life. many women i hear have horrible regret and feel as if something was lost from them. (which in a way it was) plus there are a lot of posts on here of complications from abortions.... i know some of the pictures i have seen online are truely graphic and horrifying. (safe search would probably need to be turned off). if you guys decide to keep your baby GREAT... but if now there is always adoption and with that there are always ways to find out where your son/daughter is living. and many adoptivre parents would be more than happy to let you interact with them as they get older.....

please do not have an abortion there are other options and help out there :-)
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I am so sorry you are in this position! It must be terribly difficult. I wanted to share my experience with you. I accidentally became pregnant while a single mother -- my daughter's father died of cancer when she was two. I became pregnant while dating a guy who was not interested in becoming a father, so I knew that if I went through with the pregnancy, I would be raising two children all by myself. I already knew from direct experience who hard it is to be a single mother, and how little help you get from other people. I decided to abort, and although I was angry at myself for letting myself get into this jam, I did feel relieved after the abortion, and I never felt any regret. I knew I could be a better mother to the child I already had if I could focus all my time and energy on creating a stable, nurturing environment for her. I truly wish that my husband had survived and we had been able to raise a larger family together, but that was not in the plan. Considering how things did unfold, an abortion was the best decision for me given the circumstances. Good luck to you and your family, and I hope you make a decision that you will be happy with afterwards!
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Hi there,i would like to seek an advice,i am6weeks pregnant, at my 4weeks, i drink a medicine that a friend of mine said to be effective in abortion.i had a bleeding for a half a day after a week of drinking it. i used a pregnancy kit and it is still positive. now im thinking,if i raise this baby will there be a big possibility that he/she is abnormal?
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Health Ace
6523 posts
Hey there what exactly did you take and where r you from. Depending on what it was there is a deffinatly a chance your baby could have abnormalities. You need to get checked out by a doctor. Ur pos pregnancy test is not a surprise. Even if the abortion worked ur hormone levels will remain high for atleast a good week afterwards and giveyou false positives. But still get checked by a dr.
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Hi

I am a married mother of 2, I had no plans to expand my family I have a good life career etc

My regular BC failed I discovered I was pregnant! Before I found myself in this situation I was very pro life! However this curve ball seriously made me question my reasoning. I decided to terminate, which I completed the EMA on Thursday and I can honestly say I feel relieved! I do feel a little sad but more about finding myself in this situation opposed to ending it! I might sound cold but I thought long and hard and this was the right thing for me to do!

My advice to you is to go with your gut feeling, do what feels right to you!
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