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4 days ago my husband and I had anal sex (kinda). I NEVER have anal sex, but he was drunk and we decided to try. He layed on top of my for like 15 minutes just trying to get the head in, probing it over and over and it started hurting so I told him and he quit. He never got his penis all the way in. Just irritated my anus with the head of his penis. Since then, I have had two bowel movements and when I have a bowel movement now it hurts and there is blood when I wipe. There isn't blood in my bowels or in the water, just on the paper. So, is this normal? and is it going to heal?

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Under the circumstances it is normal. That doesn't mean it's a good situation. There is a significant risk of infection, and a minor lesion can develop into something worse. You need to pick up some flushable pre-moistened wipes and use them instead of toilet paper, at least until you stop bleeding. I would also recommend applying a small amount of antibacterial ointment or cream, such as Neosporin or a generic equivalent, especially before you go to bed, and don't attempt to have anal sex again until you have healed completely.



So, where did you go wrong? The worst time to attempt anal sex, especially for the first time, is when either partner is drunk or high. This kind of thing requires a lot of patience, caution, and communication, all of which are impaired by alcohol.



I'm not an expert on anal sex (I'm really not into it, but will perform it if a partner asks me to.) but I've learned a few things about it over the years. The first is that it's always more difficult if a woman doesn't really want it. It sounds like you were in the position of being merely willing, and your attitude has a really powerful influence on how the muscles in your posterior respond to an attempted penetration. You can't really control them consciously, but they certainly are affected by how you feel about the whole thing.



Another thing I have learned is that a lubricant is required regardless of how willing and/or eager you might be. The anus simply doesn't have the same glands as the vagina, so it doesn't produce its own lubricant. Pick up some KY jelly or similar personal lubricant. Bear in mind that these are water based, so they need to be reapplied or re-wetted with water if you start to feel a reduction in their effectiveness.



I've also learned that guys have a natural tendency to immediately pull out and start thrusting as soon as they achieve penetration, and this can be painful for the woman. Tell your husband to remember to resist this temptation. Once he is inside you, he needs to stop and wait a few seconds before he starts to move in and out, and he should move slowly until you are comfortable with the situation.



Finally, don't perform oral or vaginal sex after anal without thoroughly cleansing his penis.
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try some baby oil
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