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Umm.... :$ So my husband and I have been married for a year and a half almost, and we've only ever attempted anal sex 4-5 times and stopped feeling defeated and frustrated...It hurt me so much, til the point of actually me crying and him walking away disapointed...It really hurts, not just the anal sex, but mostly not being able to give my husband the pleasure he desires during my periods when we can't have normal sex. I want to be able to make him happy, but it hurts so much! It feels like the worse BM ever! I don't understand how people can really like this...espeically women. And having an orgasm during - seems short of impossible. We've tried taking it super slow, with lots of foreplay and touching, but when it comes down to entering and then moving around - that's it, i'm done. instant tears. what can i do?


Hey there!

Miss don't be upset, the anus is not meant for intercourse so why sweat it. If you are insistent on doing this there are a few things you must do.

Because the anus doesn't produce any of it's own lubricant, a good lube like K&Y Jelly or olive oil MUST be used, spit wont cut it. Also this might sound disgusting but have him lick your anus, this will put you almost instantly in a relaxed state. If he's worried about cleanliness, then cover it with a piece of plastic wrap, the kind everyone has in their kitchen. After your feeling it, ask him to work a finger in, then two....deep relaxing breath! After your used to that...then you can try penetration.

When beginning penetration, you must push, yes like your defecating. So its important that you defecate before doing this. Also its best you put yourself in the doggy position with your head as low as possible and your a*s as high as possible. Then when he inserts his penis, he should position himself so that he's pushing up. So many guys try to push down and ouch, what pain!

Also, if your not comfortable talking openly with your partner then I suggest you get yourself a dil*o and practice with yourself when your alone and get your body used to the feeling. But remember lube lube lube! It's very easy to rip yourself which can lead to other problems so take your only feels terrible for the first 5-10 times.


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The post above me is full of really good, informative and helpful info. I also want to add one thing. RELAX! I can tell from your post that this is causing you a little bit of stress. That little bit of stress is not helping things any. Take a few deep breaths, and if you slowly work up to it (one finger first, then two, etc...) then by the time he's starting to penetrate you, everything should be ok.

I say SHOULD because some women are "built" for anal sex and some are built to reject it. If you've taken all the above advice, and it STILL hurts, you're one of the ones whose body can't stand it. In this case, I'd say lube up some random part of your body (like between the thighs, about half way down to your knees) and let your husband pound on that instead if you're that determined to pleasure him. Is it kinda goofy and awkward? Yes, but once you get over that, it can do the job quite nicely. Like the old saying goes "Any port in a storm!" XD

Razinhail in Missouri