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Hi everyone.. I was wondering if somebody can give me advice. I met this guy online 3 months ago and we are both 25. He is very kind and sincere person and we spent a lot of time chatting. After some time we went out for a coffee and the evening was great, too. However, few days later we also had a little argument, I was the one angry, he was calm and told me he had bipolar disorder, great fear of rejection and relationships as one girl hurted him in the past. Also has some signs of OCD 'thanks to' he finished his collage but also was obsessed with his ex for almost a year. However, after few weeks we met again and kissed. Week after he acted very distant so I didnt want to force him and put a pressure on him with relationship conversation. Last time he texted said he feels awful and need sleep. That was 3 weeks ago. He is not on fb or with his friends. I texted him twice casually he never replied. In the meantime I read a lot about bpd and decided the best thing is to give him some space. Althought this is very hard for me because I know him only 3 months and this is the first bp person I met.. Is this depression or maybe he is just not into me any more? He mentioned earlier some medications. Any advice from bipolar person? Just don't tell me to run away :)

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Hello counting_stars,

Just because your friend is mentally ill doesn't mean you should run away.  However,  you need to understand the nature of the mental illness.  Bipolar is inherited and therefore genetic.  Bipolar means two poles and behavorially this means the person has mood swing from depression to anxiety.  This can happen at any time.  So at one moment the person down and sad and then they bounce off the walls in excitement.  This can become difficult to deal with.  The person could suddenly go on a shopping spree and run the credit cards to the hilt.  Some may have multiple sex partners.  Anyway, there are a number of extreme behaviors associated with being bipolar.  If the person is taking meds for this condition, that's great and generally the meds work well however they often go off their meds for one reason or another and they start the extreme behaviors all over again.  I don't see why you can't remain friends but he's not good husband material.

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You told me not to say it but I'm saying it RUN!  You ain't seen nothing yet. Forget anxiety, try manic!  You are early in the game. If someone would have told me to run after 3 months I wish to God I had taken their advice. I truly do. If you're going to stay, & I know you are buckle your seatbelt & hang on. You are in for a hell of a ride. Put a lot of focus on yourself because it will be hard to hold on to who you are. Make sure you are okay at all times. Focus on you as much as you can because the chaos is going to have him center stage. So every now & then put that spotlight on yourself & do routine checks to make sure you are okay & you're not being affected mentally. I'm serious. 

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Unless your bf sees a physician for anti-depressive medicine and sees a therapist your relationship will not last. I was in a marriage for 30 years with the most wonderful woman in the world. I spent enough time in denial that she stopped loving me and learned to resent me instead. Although I am no longer in that marriage I continue to see a psychiatrist for medicine and a therapist. In the past 13 months I have been in the hospital 7 times for suicide ideation. I also have PSTD from Viet Nam, OCD, anxiety, and the bipolar disorder. If I stay on my meds and keep my appointments I do fine. So there is help but your bf has to go get it. He cannot get better on his own..
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