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I am 24 years old and i really want to have a baby, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and have discussed having children before. He knows that I want to have at least one of my own. But the problem is we just found out that his chances are very slim of him being able to have them, considering her has a very low sperm count. Also he has a rare form of muscular dystrophy and doesnt want to give to his children. I love him with all my heart and want to be with him for the rest of my life. But giving up having a baby is something that I really cant give up. I have thought of us gettting a sperm donor. We also talked about adopting but I would like to now the feeling of what it is like to be pregnant. I dont know how to bring this up to him because when I have before he gets upset with me and doesnt want to talk about it. So is there any advice that anyone could give me to talk to him that would help him understand that having a baby for a women is important to her

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Hi Kalach,

Even with a low sperm count there are ways that he can be the father.  In-Vitro can be used if you are unsuccessful.  They "wash" the sperm and then fertilize the egg.  Both of you would need to see a fertility specialist.

But, you also need to respect his concerns.  He doesn't want to pass on muscular dystropy to his children.  It is a genetic condition so his concerns are valid.

"Having a baby for a women is important to her."  I understand that but you also need to realize how selfish that may be for you.  Again, he has a valid concern and you need to respect that.

If he won't give you children or consent to adoption then move on.  As hard as it may be you just may never get your wish of having a child with him.  I know this last part sounds harsh but you need to realize that.  It's not just what YOU want that matters but what BOTH of you want.

Good luck.

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I think your boyfriend is not being mature and realistic about this. If he does not want to pass any of his own potential genetic defects on to his own children, then he should welcome using healthy donor sperm instead and let you experience full pregnancy and having YOUR healthy genetic children since you have no reason to avoid having healthy kids. His defects don't make you unable to get pregnant and have kids. Why should he become angry at having kids unless he just doesn't want any kids and his own health problems are a convenient excuse to not have any kids. He can get a vasectomy simply and easily and not have any kids his whole life. But he shouldn't want to prevent you from having kids. Why would he desire that? Something deeper is wrong here.If he can't honestly discuss having kids like a mature and rational adult, then he is not good father or caring husband material anyway. Find a new man to marry and to father your kids, this guy is bad news.
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