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I'm not a father yet, but I'm wondering how many here are. I have read something like, what fathers fear the most when they have a baby. And the first answer is changing the diapers. :-) To be honest I never did this, but my cousin has two small children and I have watch it many time when she changes their. And I think I know how to do it, and it doesn't seem like a big issue to me.
What about everybody else here? What do you think that men are afraid the most when they have a baby?
I'm really interesting to see the answers. :-)

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Hi,

I never worried about changing diapers, it was just something that had to be done. It's not that bad, really. They have to eat too, that's not a problem.

Actually, thinking back I think I was mostly concerned, wouldn't really say feared, that they were healthy and safe.

Now, if you asked me today when he's 17 and driving, I have much bigger fears. I really can't control who his friends are and what they are doing all the time. I do have a good relationship with him though and he has told me quite a bit. I know he's tried alcohol, I don't condone it, but he does know to call at anytime. He's talked about having sex but he, fortunately, seems to agree that he should wait. I think he's better off than I was at his age actually.

My wife worries much more than me. He usually comes to me with the medical or his sexual worries and her with the personal problems. It makes for some pretty good discussions between us later on.

So, I guess the best way to answer this is - I'm the most afraid of them growing up!
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Hi Dan,
I must say very interesting post. And you got me little thinking there. When they are babies the thing you are most concerned is that they are healthy and safe.
But growing up is something to be more worried. :-) As I can see you have a really good relationship with your son, and this is very good thing. This is not just important for you, but also he has, not only a father who orders him around, but a person that is very near him, who he can talk to about his problems.
I'm interesting who is the one that starts these conversations, you or him?
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Hi,

I try to be there for my son. He knows that I have my limits and he knows what they are, but he also knows that he can come to me with anything and I'll be there for him.

I don't order him around either. He knows what is expected, and has since he was young. It was more like a reward system then. Make your bed and this happens. Now he just does it. I never really had to say to him "go take out the trash." If it's trash night, he takes it out (usually). I will too if I'm around. It's a family thing, we share.

My wife is much better at getting him to talk about things. I can usually tell when something is bothering him but I generally let him make the call about when to talk, unless there is something serious going on that I know about or it looks like he wants to talk but just can't figure out how to open up. In that case we'll usually go out for a ride or do something with just the two of us so we can talk.

He's my life, I can't say it any other way. I love my son.

Dan
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Hi Dan,
You said a really interesting thing.
"I don't order him around either. He knows what is expected, and has since he was young."

You have raised him like this since he was very young, and this is very important thing. Many parents like to let their children do many stuff when they are young, and then when they get a little older, they get out of control.
Many people don't realize this until it is too late.
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I just want to have a small comment on the news I've read yesterday.
The baby was left by a father in a car for several hours. He forget that he had a for year old baby in a car. I is a little unbelievable to understand this. How can this happen to someone? The baby has died from hyperthermia or heatstroke.
How much do you need to be stressed or busy or I don't know what, to forget that you have a baby in your car???
Also i found out that there are several cases like this all around US.
What do you think of this?
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I'm pretty shocked that someone could 'forget' because I don't think that's the case. I think that the father wanted to go wherever it was that he wanted to go and didn't want to bother with taking care of the child. I think that's pretty common, sadly, but that a lot of fathers aren't like that thank goodness. It bothers me a lot because I know that a lot of people feel forced to have kids or something like that. It bothers me.
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It seems like a couple of times a year people are "forgetting" their kids in the back of the car until it is too late. I can't understand that happening either. If you're not focused on your child while you're out, you need to rethink your priorities.

Dark_red, he's always been expected to help out and be a part of the family. I like to have dinner as a family but it is getting tougher as he has sports or is going out to meet his friends but it is still a good time for us all to talk. We still do it a couple of times a week and he knows that he has to be there for it. I don't really think he minds and sometimes he brings his friends too. It helps us get to know them and I can't tell you how many of them say they don't do this with their folks.

Keep talking, have an open relationship, and be there. Just be there. They'll come to you.
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Hi Dan,
That is the thing. Just be open with your child and let him know that you are always there for him. He need to know this so he knows that he can talk to you about anything.

About the father and a dead baby, it is so bizarre to me that this things can happen. It is your kin and a part of you, how can someone be this unfocused!!!
Do you think that they will prosecute him?
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Hi,
few days ago my close friend and his wife had a baby. And on the day of delivery he was all messed up. He didn't now what to do or where to go. And it was kind of funny to see him like that. And after few days now he is all good. He takes care of almost everything.
To me it was very interesting to see the same person act in two complete different ways. I haven't had this experience yet, and I can't say that won't act the same, but this is a big thing in life.
I'm interested if any of you would like to share their experience when they had their baby.
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I don't think I'm going to have kids. Nothing against kids, because I love them, but I like being independent and I like to travel, and I can't imagine doing that with kids. I like having my free tiem. I do love my brothers' kids but I don't really want any of my own. Anyone with me?
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I'm not sure that I can go with you on this one. I really like kids, and would like to have at least two when time comes for that. But if you feel like this, than it's ok. Kids are a big responsibility and you wouldn't be free to travel and do stuff like that. At least not for one or two decades. :-)
What about everybody else?
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Well, I do remember that when I was little that my mom did take me on a lot of trips but it was just me and my mom, and I was unusually well behaved for my age. I was pretty happy with sitting in my hotel room when I was younger while my mom was at a convention or something like that. I don't think I could do that with a child though, and also I will probably save a lot of money over the long term. :)
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Well you see that it is possible. But it was possible because it seams that you were a good kid, and you didn't give your mother to much problems. This is a little hard both for mother and a kid. I'm didn't had any experience with this. Can you tell us if you think that this was hard for you or it was just fun?
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Well I think that it might have been harder for other people. My mom was a successful businesswoman so she had pretty stable income so it wasn't like it was having a struggling mom working 70 hours a week like a lot of poor single moms out there. So yeah, I think that would be a little more common and much more difficult. Is that what you were asking? :)
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