Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
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Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it little friend.
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
-Jack Handey