Doesnt know what to do anymore....

this is my first time writting on one of these blogs...so bare with me. I got off my bc during June 2010 and skipped a period the following month. I have an irregular cycle since then. My last period was On Nov 4 but this month I was about 5 days late. I had lots of cramping but not bleeding. I took 5 pregnancy tests and all came out with a faint positive line. I went to my friend who is a nurse and she told me that chances are i was pregnant. I was soooo excited because we have been ttc since ive been off my bc (I was on bc for over 8 years). However, that same night (after i told my husband we were most likely expecting) i started spotting. The spotting lead to light bleeding and it then became more intense with lots of cramping. I went to the doc the following day and she took another test. The line was more faint then ever. They then took a blood exam and she explained to me that either I was pregnant and could be having a mc, i am pregnant and just having my normal period or i was never pregnant. She explained that depending on my hcg levels she would know if i was pregnant and if i mc'd. When I arrived home that night the bleeding was worse and when i would wipe it would have skin-like texture so im thinking the baby is gone :-(. I still have my period today (2nd day now) the cramping continues but not as intense as yesterday. We know my chances of remaining pregnant are slight to none but i still have hope. I rub my belly everyday and pray that my cramps its the baby growing but i have my moments when i believe i mc'd. We have been ttc for almost 6 months now and im so sad. We were planning on telling our parents Christmas day but now thats most likely not going to happen....