pregnant but cannot accept it.. is this just a false alarm?

If you tested positive for pregnancy, that's what it is, positive. If you are forced into sex with this guy, he shouldn't even be considered your boyfriend. How can he assure you that you will not get pregnant? Does he know something you don't?
Using the "pull out" method is not birth control and shouldn't be used as such, it's called luck, and that about it.
May i suggest that you see your doctor just to confirm what an HPT has already told you.
If this guy continually raped you why did you continue to stay in the relationship? Rape is forced sexual intercourse, meaning that you were not a willing participant. Did you resist and try to get him away from him? Did you warn him that you were going to tell someone?
You have been with him for a year according to your post, why?

yes, it was really my fault. we are even both Christians, and we never missed a single Sunday going to church.. there were times that i would cry to him, saying, telling him to stop because it is a very big SIN, and i am so scared that i might get pregnant..

i trusted in him that much.. i am his 28th girlfriend and he never got anyone of those impregnated! i am so stupid to give in to what he wanted.. i was so stupid!!!

he was considering abortion, but abortion is sooooo illegal here in the philippines.. i am scared, i want a real doctor to have the procedure, like in the united states..

i am scared to go to the doctor.. and i cant even afford it..

Listen, it takes two to make a baby, it is not all your fault, tho it is right that you share half of the blame. 28 girlfriends, holy mama, didn't you see a red flag? It doesn't matter if your a Christian, a Jew, a Moslem whatever, your pregnant, (you think) Forget about that for a minute and think about what your going to do. The first thing you really need to do is send bf packing back to one of his 28 girlfriends, or probably #30.
HE was considering abortion!!! Who and what gives him the right to choose whether or not you terminate this pregnancy?
Secondly, you need to make sure that you are pregnant. Is there any kind of clinic or something like Planned Parenhood where you live? If an abortion is what you want, Lance Romance needs to pony up the money, at least some of it to help. Remember, he is partly to blame.
I know your scared, who wouldn't be in your situation? Some where in all of the Phillipines, someone had to have had an abortion (safe and legal).
Do you live with mom/dad? Once you find out for sure, maybe you can speak to both of them, at least mom for now. What kind of relationship do you have with your parents? What about a best friend or a close trustworthy family member, maybe a sister.
It is not the end here for you. GET RID OF THIS GUY, right away. If this was an on going routine for the both of you, you really should have looked into some protection, there is birth control where you live. But that could be an after thought now.
Don't be scared to see the doctor, they have seen it all. Get the answer you need now so that you can make a decision.

im so thankful.. i feel so great to have someone who is here to talk to me..

by now, i am having my menstruation.. i did not tell my parents yet.. does that mean that i am not pregnant and it is just a false alarm?

im so scared.. my tummy is a bit big.. i got rid of that guy.. im beginning to hate him.. i regret about everything..

i am scared to see a doctor..

Okay, your half way home. You got your period?? Great :-D
If you are having a full blown period, i would say that your not pregnant.
At this point, it's okay not to say anything to mom/dad. Your puffy tummy may be just bloat from your period and it's delay.
Your fear and regret was probably enough punishment for you as you were beating yourself up.

Seeing that the first test came back positive (makes me wonder) wait till your period is over and take another. In the mean time stay away from Romeo and consider yourself lucky that he is no longer in your life.

It's okay to hate him and it's normal for you to regret your time with him, and if all comes out well for you, let it go and move ahead. Do not let this boy back into your space, let him go a reak havic else where.
You sound like a sweet heart, a bit confused, but on the right track for sure.

Sit tight for now, let your period come and go, then take another HPT.
Think positive thoughts and don't freak.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you, and let us know what's going on.

You can always private message me if you like.

Hugs to you,
bbfeet9

wow, im really amazed how you are helping me right now..

im still freaking out.. im so scared because my mom has hypertension.. im scared of what may happen to her if she knows, because it feels like i am still pregnant.. im scared to take an HCG test, HPT, because i really cant accept the result, because i really feel like i am really pregnant.. i have researched on the internet that bleeding during pregnancy is just normal.. im so afraid to see a doctor.. i am financially poor..

i hate that guy, really.. and last night, one thing happened.. one of his friends texted my mom, that i am pregnant.. i denied, and showed my sanitary pad to her.. but my bleeding is just light.. OMG..

im still hoping that i am really not pregnant.. i dont want to be a mom this early.. i have lots of dreams to reach..

one thing, i have a friend who is in a gang and i am planning to ask them to, you know, ahm, how do i explain this.. ahm, i asked my gangster friends to watch out for that bastard who did this to me, pull him in a corner and beat him up, for, revenge maybe.. im really angry with him that's why.. but do you think it is right?

because my dad told me that he is going to beat that guy up.. im scared that my dad will go to jail.. i cant stop him.. so, i think its best to ask my friends to beat that guy up before my dad does..

im really touched inside, because even though you do not know me personally, you are actually helping me.. uplifting my spirit.. im considering you as my friend..

actually i cant trust any friend of mine by now.. i know they are going to backstab me and tell my secret to everyone..

even my bestfriend, i cant trust her.. im too scared..


im soooo happy, atleast, that you are here to back me up..


i really hope, and pray, that God will give me another chance to change and "delay" my pregnancy, for the future, not now..


i'll wait for your reply.. thank you for everything..

Many women have had their periods during pregnancy, thinking they were not pregnant, then being shocked out of their wits to learn they were.
Are you having any pregnancy symptoms like sore or tender breasts, nausea, mood swings, lethargy, (more tired than normal) abnormal increase in appetite or peeing more than usual?
Bleeding when pregnant, when one knows their pregnant, is really not normal. This observation would warrant a trip to the doctor for possible problems with the pregnancy.

When exactly did you get your period this month? Did it start out as a normal period? How long was it? Do you still have it? Was it a red rich color?

As far as your friends stomping the c**p out of this dude, that would be my first reaction...........but, come on hon, what in the world would that solve. Remember, we are Christians. No way am i asking you to forgive, but you must not go there. He will get his in time, remember what goes around comes around. I don't believe in an eye for an eye. If you are pregnant, kicking this kids a** is not going to make you un-pregnant, you can't un ring a bell.
When i was a young girl, i got pregnant, twice. The first time i was 15 and scared to death. I had an abortion. I got pregnant again, but this time i was cheating on my husband, who by the way had a vasectomy. 5 years later my husband found out and literally beat the snot out of this guy in the parking lot of their workplace. He was arrested and spent 3 days in jail. I encouraged my husband to do this to cover my guilt. I felt ashamed because it was both of our faults. He knew i was married, i shouldn't have done it in the first place.
What i am trying to say here is that it won't help if you half kill this guy. He is no good period. Try and talk to your mom, be gentle with her about it. She already thinks you may be pregnant from this text she got so why don't you just tell her the truth.
Us moms are cool ya know, at least i am, i think. Trust in your mommy, she would never, ever let any harm come to you. I have 3 daughters, and 2 sons. 2 of the girls got pregnant early in their teen years. They both lost their first baby, but yes, got pregnant again. My grandsons are beautiful, and my last little one is just 16 months old and has my heart, completly.

I wish i could wrap my arms around you and tell you that it will be okay, but i think if you let your mom in a little, she will do just that. Don't be afraid hon.
This is what i would like for you to do. Stop being afraid for just a minute and march yourself to the store. Buy yourself a test and take it.

I honestly don't think that you are pregnant. Take my thoughts with you maybe they will help you to be strong for a minute.
I will be thinking of you now so please let me know whats going on. Promise you won't bring harm to this boy (as much as we would like to) it really won't help.

Hugs
bbfeet

i just had my class and be back to my next one after two hours.. i ran to the computer shop we have here and take a look if u hav a reply..our computer at home got broken two days ago so i have to go here and research more about the mysteries of pregnancy..

im happy to see your reply.. tears rolled down my cheeks to read it.. thank you..

may i know from what country are you? when ur daughters got pregnant, how did you feel? i know it hurt u deeply.. because that is how my mom is feeling right now though it not really clear if im really pregnant or not.. she asked me how strong was the flow of my menstruation this morning.. and i would tell again, LIES.. im really a liar.. i feel so evil.. i told her it was strong..

how do sore breasts look like? my breasts are growing bigger in size, and painful at times..

what is nausea? is it vomiting and the feeling of dizziness? i vomitted once, after eating street food.. luckily, nobody saw me vomit, just outside our house, one night..

but at times, i feel like vomiting, but it wont come out.. about mood swings, i dont know.. but i cry a lot.. i cry about my pregnancy.. i cry about my regrets, every night, before i sleep.. i cry during prayer and really soaks my pillow..

about my appetite, i would always look for burger..

my peeing in normal this month.. but last month, i would pee more than normal..

i got my period at the night of february.. i went to the comfort room and saw red on my underwear.. i jumped for joy but i think its not really menstruation, because it is not really red.. it is pinkish.. the period stopped this morning.. 3 march.. its not normal.. but im still hopeful..

yes, i promise, i wont do any harm to that bastard.. thank you again..

im only sixteen today..

abortion also came across my mind.. but i have heard of the negative effects of it to the physical and mental aspects of the woman..

because abortion is illegal here in the Philippines, it would be hard for me to find an abortion that would be safe and painless..

i know someone who had an abortion and died after.. im scared that it may happen to me too..

i wish i am infertile that this wont happen to me! but i know many infertile married women are depressed to have children..

a child is a blessing, but not at this age.. i have a four year old brother, and a thirteen year old sister.. i feel guilty that they are having a nephew at that age..

i feel guilty of everything.. i dont know what to do..

are you okay with your husband by now?

am i going to abort this or just continue? but i cant handle the shame..

i cant express myself through letters.. i want to scream all i feel so someone whom i can trust..i trust nobody by now.. not even my self..

when u had abortion, did your parents know?

im crying again..im deeply touched with your words.. atleast you are here to help me, even though u dont see me..

ill be waiting for your reply again..

thank you..

another thing.. my mom wants to bring me to a gynecologist.. is it really high time to tell the truth?

yes, i still believe that i am really not pregnant..

i told them i am not pregnant, and i told them that i am a virgin..

when i and the bastard had sex, i did not bleed, hymen getting broken.. there was not pain.. but i promise, he was the one who has taken my virginity..

i wonder, it my hymen still intact?

but i am not into horses and gymnastics and bikes..

What that guy has done to you is terrible, but what you wanted to do would make you feel worse. Get your mum on your side hun, thats what mums are there for you cant hide it from her. My mum always knows when i'm hiding something, and it will be worse the longer you leave it.

Mums always know what to do, your the same age as my little sister i could nt imagine her going through what you are going through, and even though i'm not her mum she always talks to me. No matter what she told me i would never be angry with her, i would support her and my mum is the same with me LOVE is a strange thing. And thats what mums have for their kids, it wont change the way she feels about you.

Keep in touch and i hope you get the answer you want. :-)

Took me a while to get back to you, sorry.....



I will try to answer all your questions as best as i can.

I live in the United States, Upstate NY, in a town called Kent, N.Y. very country (ish) tho i am not a farmer type person, i am really beginning to take to the country life.



When my girls got pregnant, i was flabergasted. My 27 year old got pregnant the first time when she was 16. She called me as i was driving to work to tell me. I was so freaked i had to go home. I was in a frenzy but i managed to maintain. She cried and was a total wreck. I will not lie to you, i was sooo mad at her. That day passed in silence after my rage had subsided. She came into my bed that night and cuddled with me. She cried and so did i. I apologized for being a monster earlier in the day, she understood. I held her in my arms and told her that we would get thru this, together. I told her i would help and that she and the baby could live at home with me. The daddy was in the picture and he accepted the situation and would be there for her and the baby. 2 weeks later she lost it.

One year later she got pregnant again but by this time she was so heavy into drugs that she went for an abortion. This happened twice more. 8 years ago she had my grandson, he is beautiful but has ADHD, my daughter smoked pot thru out her pregnancy with him. His dad is in jail but set to get out in a few weeks after serving 3 years for bank robbery.In the past 8 years, she has had 2 more abortions, the last one took place when she was 19 weeks along, fully showing and feeling life. Her heroin addiction was at it's all time high and she did not know who the dad was.

She was arrested and spent 3 months in jail, is now in a half way house and has been clean and sober for 1 whole year. She is taking college courses and wants to work in the Neo Natal Unit.

My 30 year old also got pregnant before 18. She had an abortion as well.

Now she has 3 boys, the latest is just 16 months old. She and her husband are now seperated because he just loved to beat her up, he was in the military for 7 years. She lost a baby due to his aggression. He threw a lawn chair at her and hit her in the stomach, she lost that baby.



If your breasts are sore, you would know it. They become rounder and firmer and the areola, the circle around the nipple itself becomes darker.

They are tender to tounch and sometimes hurt when you wear your bra.

They get heavier and painful to touch. The nipple becomes sore as well.



You would also know nausea as well. It is such a ghastly feeling in your tummy. You feel like you just want to puke up your guts. This comes with the first stages of pregnancy. Some have it in the morning, others have it in the evening and some have the misfortune of having it all day. But then there are the lucky ones who go thru the whole 9 months with no nausea at all.



Mood swings come and go. One minute your happy and the next your balling your eyes out, or your looking to rip some ones face off for no reason. These are your hormones. Pregnancy throws everything out of wack. Your crying could be a sign of that or could be because you are so sad and worried.



As far as my husband and i, we are no longer together. We are both re married. He couldn't take the stress of knowing that i stepped out of our marraige. I was and still am ashamed of what i did. He is a good man, but some where in our marraige he wasn't touching the right spot in my heart. We met in our teens and we got pregnant just as i graduated high school. We conceived in September and got married in December. My parents really couldn't say much as i was over the age of consent and married. But the first time i got pregnant at a young age, she flipped her wig. She didn't find out until after i had the abortion. She wasn't upset because i got pregnant, she was mad because i had the abortion. She could not have any more children after me (so she says) but i know otherwise. So when my son was born in May, she took him over, and to this day, he is her favorite out of all the 5 kids i have had.



Listen darlin, stop thinking abortion, just for a minute. You really really really have to first find out what's going on.

Please consider talking to your mom. She is not going to kill you, she loves you, trust me. If you are afraid that you will make her sick with your thoughts and concerns, that is a chance you have to take. Just know us moms are stronger than we look. We are like lions when it comes to our cubs, she will protect you and help you decide what is best.

Now is the time to take a pregnancy test again. If you are, you need to find out sooner than later. If you keep this baby, your going to need the proper care to insure that your baby is born healthy, and you have to take care of yourself as well so you are strong and healthy enough to carry this baby for 9 months.

It is NOT the end of the world. Please don't be ashamed. It happens everyday and your not going to be the last person that this has ever happened to. Your not a bad girl hon, just a little confused right now, with plenty of "stuff" on your plate. I know you feel so alone, but i am on the other end of your computer any time.

Close your eyes for a minute and feel my arms around you. It's okay, your okay.

You are breaking my heart and i wish i could help in some way, but my words of encouragement will have to do.

So, please go to your mom, please be honest with her. She probably already suspects something so please bring her relief, one way or the other.

I will be waiting to see what you have decided. No more fear right now, push it aside for a minute. Swallow it and push forward. If you are pregnant, it is not going away by itself. You can not pretend it's not there.

Pick yourself up and get it done, one way or the other.

I'm here for you.

BBfeet

If mom wants you to see a doctor, she obviously is under suspicion. She might already have a feeling that something is up and needs clarity, for the both of you.
Lying to a parent is part of being a kid, that's what they do. I did it, we all did it at one time or another. But it's the lies that become obsessive and more frequent that become a problem. Sometimes one will lie so much that they really have to stop and think of the truth, then in many cases, the lie becomes the truth (to them)
You are 16, almost an adult, 2 years is not that far away for you. Don't start lying to your mom, that's not cool, tho quite natural for a teenager.

When you and he had sex, it didn't necessarily have to hurt and you didn't have to bleed. He managed to take your virginity easily and pain free. This is very common. You don't have to ride a horse or play gymnastics to rupture your hymen, you could have done it a different way other than intercourse. On the other hand, your hymem could have been so thin and flexible that at the time of intercourse you didn't feel the difference when he took your virginity.
So to answer your last question, when a mans penis enters a womens vagina, she is no longer considered a virgin and no, your hymen is still not intact.

Ya know, i forgot to ask you how old this dude is???

by now, our family is facing a huge problem.. my dad was driving home when he hit an old man about to cross the street..


now, the old man is in critical condition in the hospital, and mom and dad are in a huge trouble because they have to spend much to provide for the man's hospital expenses.. the old man's family is very angry and are planning to file a case against my dad..

i saw them cry, praying in their bedroom one night.. not only a night, but every night, my mom would cry, even my sister, my brother.. my grandmom.. even me.. i cried so hard, i didnt know what to do.. when, when will i tell my mom about this, when we are facing a huge problem? i dont want to add up to their misery.. i really feel sorry about myself..

im really thankful for your replies.. by now, im really planning for abortion.. im a murderer! every night i would speak to my baby in my tummy, saying, 'baby, im sorry, im really sorry, your mom is not ready to raise you hunny..' and i would puke again..

the fact is, i DENIED the whole weeks that im really pregnant.. i denied and denied, telling myself.. 'no, no, i cant be pregnant.. false alarm, false alarm..' etc..

im having this sympathy towards mom and dad.. we are struggling, financially and emotionally.. we are all scared of what may happen.. dad is crying, asking for prayers from us.. seeing them makes me really want to kill my baby.. im really a murderer.. because i dont want to give my parents more burden to carry..


abortion is not legal here in the philippines.. if i get caught, i may be sent to jail.. so im now planning to have herbal abortion.. will it be effective? im taking lots of vitamin Cs.. will that help?


im really sorry, im not listening to your pieces of advice, with love and concern for me.. im really into abortion.. im not ready to raise a baby..

im labeling myself, a murderer.. im feeling guilty, even during my planning to kill the baby.. but i think im not going to succeed.. it may lead to incomplete abortion.. but what im thinking by now is, 'COME WHAT MAY' which is not really a good attitude.. im also facing lots of problems in school.. much paperworks, lots of exams to run after.. special exams.. i dont know how to follow.. i want to stop the world spin.. and do my thing.. im really sorry.. im really a shameless b***h.. murderer!!! will God ever forgive me for my plans? i want to crawl on the ground and kiss His feet.. my Lord knows my plans are wrong.. but i dont have any choice.. im really sorry.. i feel so sorry for my mistake.. i never learned a thing.. i only learn it when trouble comes.. i want to cry a river of tears, and drown that guy who cause me all the pain..


thank you for the replies.. im really happy you are here to help me, though we are far away from each other, the computer makes us nearer.. thanks a lot..

i feel sad for your daughters.. but i know you are happy with your grandkid.. so, he has ADHD? my 5 year old brother also has.. he likes to sing and make noise.. he loves all the attention.. :D

and why is your daughter brought to jail? i fear jails..

how about your other grand children?how are they?

i felt so down, knowing, realizing, i was not already a virgin.. in the philippines, virginity is very much treasured.. virgins are looked up on high, while non virgins are considered as bit***s.. i am not a virgin anymore.. i felt sad about that.. i treasured my virginity like a piece of priceless diamond.. but now, a bastard got it from me, even made my life feel like hell..

that dude is twenty years old.. he's a bastard.. he made my life in deep misery.. but its also my fault.. i though he loves me.. but he just used me.. he's my first boyfriend, so i was so naive about life, about relationships.. he's the first, and i was so inexperienced about being with people like him.. he had a very high pride, a very ununderstandable attitude, really different, so moody, made me cry almost everyday, suggested lots of break ups, but i was so inlove with him, i cant let him go.. but that was stupidity.. being so damn stupid about considering him as a good and responsible person.. he wants to play, collect more girls to hurt.. he's a bastard.. i hate him!!!