Extreme clothing sensitivity with my 4 year old daughter

OMG, I thought that I was the only one with clothing issues. My 3yr old daughter complains that her clothes hurt her. I have tried cutting tags out. Tried rewards for keeping clothes on her. This is absolutly driving me crazy. I have even had to put her zip up jammies on backwards to keep them on. Then she just throughs the hugest fit and then of course there is the issue off her having to go to the bathroom. Please advise if anyone has any suggestions.

I finally know what causes it!
We had exactly the same problems with our daughter. I remember when she was 18 months and I could not dress her. Now she is almost 6 year old. At first I blamed it on age (terrible 2, terrible 3, then we moved to another city, new daycare, etc). However, for the past 2 years we live in the same location, she goes to the same school (no major changes) and still the problem exists. Practically all your entries describe my daughter’s problem with dressing and staying dressed (from underwear to shoes, jackets and seat bells in the car). During the worst weeks she could not even take a bath and of course no lotion on her skin. She also complained a lot about her eyes and her body and feeling very worm, but she never had temperature during these times. Also we have another daughter who is two years younger and doesn't have any of these problems, so we knew it was not something that we were doing wrong. We tried everything: various discipline methods, doctors, psychologists, OT, nothing really worked. It looked like there suggestions were working, but only for a short period of time. When we observed it over time her behavior always intensified in the fall and a bit in spring and always during rainy season. Finally, it was suggested to us that maybe she has allergies... This December we did a lot of alternative allergy testing using Dr. Doris Rapp method (I strongly recommend her books). Currently, we are using her treatment method and it is working wonderful!!! The antihistamine droops work within minutes. Our daughter also feels the treatment is working. Overall, majority of the clothing feels good on her (she still has some anxiety related to the clothing that felt extremely bad before and she still is afraid to put on lotion) but slowly she is trying things. Besides, she is much calmer and happier. I never knew she can smile that much! I hope this information will be helpful. Please note, we did not try regular allergy testing we are only using Dr. Rapp’s treatment and it is not covered by insurance.

Hey folks, I do not have a child who struggles with this, but as an adult who struggled with this as a child I have a possible explanation. It started when I was about 4-5 years old. I would freak out about socks (oh gosh, the seams in socks were my mortal enemy), shoes, underwear, long sleeves, blue jeans, the way certain fabrics felt on my skin, the tightness or looseness, you name it. Something that felt right on me one day, suddenly felt wrong the next. Everything had to feel just right or I felt, literally, some days like I would explode if I was forced to wear something that made me feel "uncomfortable", as I call it now. It turns out, this was my first symptom of OCD. Lots of kids with OCD struggle with the way clothing feels or the cut of the clothes, etc. I'm sure this is just a phase for some kids, or an allergy for others, but if this continues with no answers and you start to notice other signs of OCD in your child, please have them evaluated. I struggled for 20 years with it before I was finally diagnosed and treated. Life could have been so much less stressful for me (and my parents:) had someone have recognized the signs sooner.

I have a 5 year old who has had major issues with clothing since she was a 18 months old. Everything bothers her, buttons, zippers, elastic, long pants, jackets, long sleeves, etc. She will only wear leggings (in winter) skirt and a t-shirt in summer. Her biggest issue is socks and shoes, now that I have found Stride Rite seemless socks, she puts them on with no problem. Now her issue is shoes...Nothing pleases her. I have noticed she has gotten better over the years and have found out something that might help some of you for getting your child ready for school in the morning. MORNING ROUTINE: I now wake my daughter up 1 1/2 hours before the school bus comes. No TV,  I let her eat breakfast first and then she has to get dressed. I have found that if I leave her bedroom and let her get dressed herself, there is less of a meltdown then if I were in the room trying to help. It almost feels like my daughter feeds off of me being there when she melts down. My only rule for her is her clothes must match and be as close as possible to weather appropriate. Also, when doing laundry on the weekends, I remove all of her clothes that I don't want her to wear for school and hide them in my bedroom. "Out of sight is out of mind"..... On the weekends I put them back and let her wear whatever she wants as long as she follows the clothing rules "Must match and  be as close as possible to weather appropriate".  It sounds like alot of work but my goal is to make our school days as smooth as possible.  Its hard at first but after a couple of months, I see a huge improvement in her morning meltdowns. Also in waking her up early,  this gives her enough time to try on 10 sets of clothes (if she wants) before she finds the right ones...After 3 months she now walks out of her room, happy with the clothes she has chosen (on her own). Shoes are still a big struggle but I am now past the clothes problem.... Being rushed in the morning only adds fuel to the fire with my daughter. As a reward I also tell her once she is done getting ready for school she can have some TV time. (which she loves). As hard as it is, wake you child up extra early. Let them be in charge of what they are wearing. Let them try on 25 outfits in they want. Leave the room, and let them work it out on there own...It might be a struggle to them at first, but they will figure it out. When my daughter asks for help, I go into her room and I tell her to just put on what is going to make her comfortable, no yelling, trying my hardest to stay calm, and I leave the room again. Also getting the right amount of sleep is very important. with my daughter waking up at 6:00 AM (bus comes at 7:15AM) she is in bed asleep every night at 7:30PM, no wavering on this rule, (except on weekends). She can deal with the morning better if she has had a good night sleep. On the nights that I do not get her to bed ontime, I see a huge difference in the morning, not being able to cope with it all. Also my sister in law is a therapist and she states that children that have these types of problems need to be on a strict daily routine and get enough sleep. Hope this helps.  

My daughter is now 6, but when she was about 2 she began having loud, prolonged clothing melt downs, and i tried everything I could think of to "fix" it. She is about 90% better now, so I'll share my tips with you. The number one thing is patience - even though it is very hard sometimes. It was like her skin was set on fire when she had the wrong thing on (from a clothing tag - seriously???), but that is how it felt to her. Despite alot of looks and comments from family and friends, I tried my best to just work with her until we found things she could tolerate. Leggings are the best pants for her - and they can't be loose. No gathering, seams or tags on her shirts, and seamless socks if she has to wear them, and crocs in the summer. We live where it freezes in winter, so for boot and shoe shopping, we booked a whole day, i took advil first and brought along chocolate, then laid down the ground rules - if they aren't right, that's fine, just say "no thanks" - no throwing them or screaming. I had to pay whatever it cost for the shoes that she could tolerate - no bargain hunting for this trip. But otherwise, I buy inexpensive clothes that meet her criteria, so if she can't wear it, I haven't wasted much money on it. With time and ALOT of patience, it has gotten so much better! Hang in there, and the two of you will figure it out too. She isn't my only child either, so I know about the frustrations about needing to get out the door too.

I have the same problem with my 6 1/2 year old. Getting dressed every morning is a constant struggle... i have bought "itch free" :) tights, the mon tues wed thurs... socks that were "itch free" that lasted a wk. She wants to either wear the same thing every day or nothing at all. She has so many nice clothes and i love dressing her up like a princess and she refuses to put clothes on and wants to wear raggity old clothes. She juset wears underwear at home. I put clothes on her and she is on the floor pulling a curly sue rolling and screaming that its itchy. I change her clothes 12 times every morning to find something that is not "itchy" it is ridiculous!! I am at my wits end with all these "itchy" clothes. I scheduled an appointment with the doctor because I need for her to be able to get dressed every morning. She wont and is late for school and misses the bus and or is missing school because of it. She refuses to put on socks and socks are a requirement at daycare, ymca, play places etc.  and she will sit and refuse to participate in the fun activity because her socks are itchy.... this is extremely frustrating when i go shopping and spend a lot of money on nice clothes that she says she will wear and the next time i go to put them on her they are "itchy" i really hate that word ITCHY! I would be happy if i never heard it again.... I used to punish her and now i have given up and let her look like a complete SCRUB.... which i also hate doing too. I used to be able to trick her and now she is too old and has caught on to it and wont budge- HELP!!!! What can I do..... I cant have a naked child, child that wears the same thing repeatedly, etc. This has been going on for years and now getting worse not better. She physically cant breath when she has "itchy" clothes on, she says her throat closes up and she cant breath. I thought it was psychological and maybe she needs medication. I hate to think that way but not sure what else to do :(

I hope all of you with this problem reads my reply.  PLEASE do not get angry with your son/daughter/spouse about this condition!! It is real!!  And it is not OCD as some have suggested!!  I know - I am in my 60's and have had it for 30+ years.  I have a closet full of clothes that I cannot wear - some quite expensive gifts that people thought I might be able to wear.  Close your eyes and imagine putting on a very nice, very smooth shirt and suddenly your back and arms are covered with small crawling spiders and ants.  That is the closest analogy I can give you.  I have tried many things to alleviate it, but so far nothing works.  I soak all new clothes in vinegar to get rid of the chemicals and rinse all my clothes in vinegar then water after washing to get rid of soap residue.  I too am still looking for a solution.  So please do not get angry with your kids about this - they hate this condition far, far more than you do!!

Leotards for gymnastics! My niece has a meltdown about her leotard touching her every time she goes to practice. Socks are also a major issue. I love that you are working on this.



Best,

Marcy

Hello Jessica, I have been dealing with this issue with both of my children..My oldest now 11 is pretty much over it and deals with it pretty good. my 9 year old now is horrible..It started off small now its just rediculous..Im glad to hear I am not alone and there are so many people with the same issue...I am going to check out your softclothing. I am looking for tight seamless camis for my daughter to wear under her clothes...she likes tight things but cant find anything in a size 4 or 5...Im lost...Doreen-Ct

I have the same problem and I am so relieved to see there are other mommy's out there dealing with this issue!!! My daughter is 4 and a half, and these troubles started about 1 year ago. She refuses to wear jeans, sock, and I cant get her to wear underwear with any type of pants, only with a skirt or dress. She hates buttons and zippers and she says everything itches her. I used to think she was just acting out, but now I am unsure. I have mornings where all I want to do is cry because there is nothing else I can do. HELP ME! Even just someone to talk to that is going through something similar. Feel free to email me _[removed]_...

wow i am realy not alone my son is now 5 and this started at 2 he wouldnt wear clothes while he sleeps and yes only certain tipes

I can say from personal experience that this issue is not “just in your head”.  I have struggled with clothing sensitivities since I was five.  In elementary school, I used to wear the same outfit to school every day, because it was the only comfortable thing in my closet full of clothes.  I have always had issues with underwear and socks.  I still cannot wear jeans, turtlenecks, or anything tight or skin-hugging.  I still cannot concentrate and get highly agitated (it is truly difficult to explain with words what it’s like) if I am wearing uncomfortable clothes.  Things have gotten better with time (I am 37 now), but mostly because I have learned to shop for my own comfort.  I may not always be high style, but at least I don’t run naked or barefoot through the streets.

I always thought my “issues” were related to my OCD, but after reading the website on “Sensory Integrative Dysfunction” it just makes so much sense, as I am also highly sensitive and attune to sounds (pen clicking, nail biting, clock ticking, loud food chewing, etc.) and touch.  Until yesterday, I didn’t know this had a name.  This is truly enlightening and it’s nice to know that I am not alone. 

My seven-year-old daughter also struggles greatly with “extreme comfort issues” (as we call it at our house).  She woke up one morning when she was three and refused to wear the jeans she had worn comfortably then previous day, saying “they don’t feel good”.  I knew right away what was up.  Her clothing issues have gotten progressively worse since then.  She owns underwear, but won’t wear them.  Socks, as well (on rare occasions she will wear them inside out, if she is forced to wear them, and then after many tears).  Shoes are a frustrating endeavor, to say the least.  I often buy pre-owned clothing from consignment shops, because they are softer and more worn-in.  She won’t wear shirts with “lumps” (where the seams don’t lay perfectly flat) in the armpit area.  She doesn’t own a pair of jeans and won’t wear any pair of pants or shorts if the inseam comes too close to the crotch area.   I also can’t get her to wear a bathing suit, so she wears swim shorts instead.  She will not wear a jacket over any type of sleeves.  Leggings are out. And the issues don’t end there.      

We are learning to deal with it.  I try to be patient, since I can completely empathize with her plight, but even I get frustrated.  It is impossible to lay out clothes the night before, because clothes that felt good yesterday might not feel right today (I have read the “Raising Your Spirited Child” book and the tips offered there don’t work for my kid).  And giving ultimatums always ends up in a meltdown.  I have learned to shop according to her needs, in order to raise the chances of her success, but it gets tiring.   Getting my child dressed takes A LOT of effort and patience, which I don’t always have.  She used to cry and meltdown every day, but as she ages the episodes seem to be diminishing.

Thus far, we have intentionally avoided any sports requiring a uniform, but I am concerned that her school with eventually adopt a uniform policy.  I can’t even imagine that conversation with her principal! 

My husband, a logical mathematician, cannot understand any of this.  I was so happy to find the website explaining in great detail what I have been describing to him for years.  He was saddened to learn that this “problem” is not fixable.

Am I happy that we have to deal with this?  No.  But we can deal with it.  I’m glad to know that this thing has a name and that we are not alone.   The bright and shining light in this ordeal is that my child is learning to handle her problems in creative ways.  She doesn’t much care if she doesn’t match and she doesn’t much care what others think of how she looks.  She is thinking independently and that’s pretty rare these days.  

Dear all, I am 59, and I have suffered from high sensitiveness to clothing since I can remember. Needless to say my parents never realized how difficult this was for me because they never thought this was a disorder. My only advise is that you all let your children choose the cloths that the children feel good and buy many of the same . Seamless underwear, seamless bras for girls.  The feeling of the seams, the tags,  the wool , the zippers, the buttons is unbearable I was miserable for many years until I worked and could start to choose what does not make me sick all day. I have several tshirts of the same style and I do not care. I found a brand for pajamas and I wear the bed sheets that my friends have used for years . I only can tell you that this sensitivity makes life miserable because if we are wearing the wrong cloths we cannot concentrate, cannot enjoy life, cannot enjoy a trip, cannot read a book, it is all the time like having ants in all our body.

It's so nice to know I'm not alone I thought I was a freak.  Its nice to know I'm not alone. I am 33 and had this problem since forever. And I am k

Now brave enough togod to he doctors and see if there is anything that can be done, thank you all x

I noticed the pattern--it is hormonal: the sensitivity gets worse right before a growth spurt. So basically, the child can suddenly hate all undies, socks,..clothes,... and get really sensitive just when bursts of hormones run through the body. It can last a few days, or a week, or even 2 weeks. Then they go to sleep, wake up taller, and the growth spurt and hyper sensitivity is much better (keep the tags since you probably bought several stores' worth of items.) Basically, our bodies have cycles of growth. As the child gets older, if you plot the dates, you might find this to be monthly with a girl--even if she is not at an age to menstruate. I am starting to give mine omega 3's--the chewable kind that's from sea weed (not fish.) Or the kind from evening primrose oil (because they are smaller than Flax seed oil capsules.) Essential Fatty Acids seem so great for regulating hormones, and they are so beneficial for memory, vision, and so great for everyone anyway. I will also try everyone else's recommendations on this site. Verbally--telling my daughter that she is feeling this way because she is entering a growth spurt helps her deal with it. She loves the logical reasoning. ...The only school that was understanding was a Montessori program.