Hello, I went on a diet in my early 40's, I lost almost 70 lbs within 1.5 years. During that time I worked my butt off. I exercised twice a day at the pool, and following dinner every other nite I worked out at my local gym. Then this gym member lady started annoying and pestering me about my weight loss. Then I began to feel self conscoius of my body being more visible because I had lost an incredible amount of weight. I'm kind of an introvert, so when a person whom I didn't even know accosts me about my body, I felt embarassed. Thus, I think I subconsciously began to slowly re-gain some weight. Then the winter season came along, and my anxiety went through the roof with all the heavy rains we were having. I felt isolated, and afraid to get in my car even, and drive a short distance to the gym. As a result of my anxiety I began to fall into a rutt. I started to binge eat during the entire rainy season. I re-gained 20 lbs, from the 70 I had lost. I felt ashamed, and my esteem was brittle after this failure, according to myself.
Well, that was about 4 yrs ago. I decided to get serious this past summer and really work on my self image. I decided that if ,"Lady Caca" tries talking to me about my eventual weightloss this time, I'm just going to let her know that I don't care to discuss my body weight, it's personal. I worked to darn hard in the past on improving my self. I went through a lot of pain and sufferring for instance restoring my dental health. I had to endure many painful novacain shots in restoring my decayed teeth. Around that time, was the time that I had just surrendered myself to binge eating and purging quite often. Thats when afterwards , I stopped over eating and had begun exercising diligently and watching the portions of what I ate. Then as I mentioned, I lost almost 70 lbs, with the help of a weight loss clinic and chiropractic back adjustments. Overall, I felt better about my well being.
Unfortunately I later experienced Seasonal Affective Disorder and anxiety, which led to again less physical activity, and self isolation during the worst weather.
Then last summer, I had to help nurse someone back to health, shop for them, and chauffeur them all around, not to mention visit them in the hospital several times . This was all quite stressful to me. As I'm not a nurse, but I do volunteer at a local hospital.
Finally this October I decided I'm going to get serious again about reducing my body weight, the 20 lbs that I had re-gained. I am seeing a specialist for a diet supplament and I am again working out at my local gym. I haven't began swimming laps yet, but I do plan to. As I couldn't all summer long.
I sweat a lot at the gym when I workout. If I don't sweat while working out, I don't feel like I had a good enuff workout that evening. I do allow myself a break at the gym , as I only workout 5x a week.
My weakness is that I am terrified of REGAINING any more weight. I am eating less, and exercising more, and sometimes I have to use diuretics and dietary supplaments to help me eliminate excess baggage.....In other words, I am constipated sometimes, and then the threat of weight gain is IMMENANT. Therefore, I have to resort to diuretics, caffeine, and supplaments, and extra hard gym workouts. Sometimes I skip an occasional meal, but I always feel grossed out later on when I do that. I have been close to fainting at times, as I try so hard to lose this darn 20 lbs that my body re-gained.
I suppose i'm punishing myself with fasting, and exercise, and other ways and means for my inability to lose more weight in lieu of re-gaining 20 whole entire pounds of body flab. 20 pounds makes a HUGE DIFFERENCE. I feel more clumbsy, I have less energy, and I can't fit in some of my old clothes which I bought to reward myself for the weight loss of 70 pounds.
I'm gonna lose the weight, and then some . I plan to lose a total of about 40 pounds eventually. I'm never risking my dental health again, but I will use water pills and over exercising as I feel the need. Teeth are too expensive to keep restoring. However, if I'm a little low on water, it's OK, I drink it ALL day long. I just don't plan on retaining what my body doesn't need. I feel in Total control, and very motivated to lose this last 20 pounds that I regained from laziness, and isolation,hibernating when I should have been sweating it out after dinner at the gym. However, I may change my workout time soon since the eves are getting dark earlier, and therefore my anxiety shoots through the roof. I will contain myself from unnecessary food frenzies, and I will try and just keep focused on my career, and my ultimate goal of being able to fit back into all the clothes that I ate myself out of, like The Very Hungry Catapillar. This catapillar wants to soar and become a true butterfly, and feel light on her feet, and this will take hard work, and will power. And, that lady Caca, is not gonna keep from my goal of dropping my last 20 lbs. I am in TOTAL CONTROL. And I will win the ,"Battle of the Bulge!!" However, I am open to your suggestions, just drop my a Steadyhealth discussion line anytime, and if you wish , I shall respond back at you too.
Hello...I want to start off by saying GREAT JOB!!!! Next, I can tell you from personal experience from losing 260lbs that people who make negative comments about your weightloss are nothing more than JEALOUS! I had my share of people that had nothing nice to say and told me how I took the easy way out (which I can tell you it wasn't) ..I had to learn to ignore them! If you were feeling good about yourself and your efforts that you have accomplished..the heck what anyone else has to say!! You probably looked way better than she did and she couldn't stand it! Or she herself had tried to lose weight and could not(which is more than likely the reason)and saw that you were doing awsome, just had to be Mrs. Negative!Once I had it in my head that I had to do it for myself and my health..it was nothing but lost pounds afterwards! It has been 9 years now and I weighed 403 pounds and am holding steady at 135 now ( I kinda float between 135 and 145)..but I still have to work at it. Yes, I had gastric bypass and it was a horrificly painful, hard thing to go thru! But statistic show that after 3 years a large percentage start to fall back into old habits and thus gain the weight, then after 5 years if you still have managed to keep it off, you are one of the smaller percentage that do, so it isn't a cure at all! I totally applaud your efforts in all that you have done..I too am a nurse, so I can relate!! I know your scared about gaining, but you are the only one who knows what that darn scale says every day..nobody else will even notice a small change in your weight(which is normal)..but as a nurse you should know that taking medicines to lose water or body waste still is not losing the fat. The scale may reflect you a little ;ighter, but your dehydrated and constipated as well!..You know what I am getting at and it is hard not to go that route I sure did myself and it just got me worse off than before I started. I was made to lose 40 pounds on my own before they would do my surgery..i had to show them I was capable of changing my eating habits and my mental insight on eating beforehand, so I would be successful afterwards. I look at your situation as a success..you have kept off 50 pounds and that my dear is no laughing matter!!! That is hard and you have done that! So I hope you can go to that gym and look that id**t in the face and tell her to p*****f!!! Maybe in other words! LOL...Good luck honey!
Thank you Theresa, that was very insightful. Congratulations on your career and weightloss accomplishments. I bet it makes your job as a Nurse much easier, and now you can enjoy all the finer things in life too, without feeling like you look any different than those people who made you feel bad earlier in your life.