Feeling depressed after stopping the birth control pills?

HI Brea, glad you seeing someone, my progesterone was also way low when I had blood work done. How you finding the cream, is it working for you?

I've been doing some thinking about my cycle before the pill and I recognize my mood changes but they were manageable, I knew it was hormone related so it didn't phase me. Back then I was in a relationship where I had every reason to feel depressed and anxious and empty etc but funny enough I was always positive and looked for the positive in every day. I had days when I was more "hormonal" and that's when id get down about stuff but then id be over it in a few days. What happened when coming off the pill really scared me (us) because it was SO EXAGERATED, emotions were like 100 times worse and felt unbearable, so now we are more sensitive to the emotional changes and even dread them and fear going back to the initial time when it all went weird. I do think though that we've all been getting better, slowly but surely we've just been "scared" by the experience.

You mentioned you haven't had a bad day like this in a long time, that's definitely something to celebrate Brea!!! that just shows that you ARE making progress and ARE getting better. If you hadn't gone through the "crash" after stopping BC, then what you feeling now probably wouldn't be impacting you so much, you would have written it off as being hormones and carried on.

So the past 10 days for me have been great, my normal self before the pill, no obsessive thoughts... this morning I woke up feeling tearful but I am on day 4 of my period, my cycle had been lighter than the previous 5 months after stopping the pill so I can see an improvement in my hormone levels. One thing I find that helps is to just allow the emotion to happen instead of trying to fight it because fighting it triggers stress and stress triggers anxiety etc and then just makes me feel like i'm not getting anywhere.

I'm also a praying girl, my faith in the Lord has been the only true comfort. Knowing He hasn't brought me this far in life to fail now...He has the final say and hormones don't stand a chance against His word, He made us so He knows how to fix us.

YES!! the intrusive thoughts of do I really love this person, and then I think wow I feel numb and start panicking.. it’s like down the rabbit hole!! I’m one year off too but in feb.. crazy I thought this numbness would be gone by now.

That's where I started too and it would change. So just as one irrational thought was resolved another one would come. this is the first month where there hasn't been any irrational thoughts to worry about. The first month where i'm not waking up and "checking" in with my mental state if that makes sense. I also wondered in the beginning about mental issues but I was like wait a minute, you don't just develop a mental issue over night... what changed...and the only thing that changed was me stopping the pill. the first month off was fine but the second month is when I crashed .... but it has gotten better every month since then. in time, it will be as though this never happened.

Good advice. at least the WORST is over and we know there are more good days than bad days now.... in the beginning it was more bad days than good ones

Hang in there girls we will get through this , we already getting through it with each passing day.

Oh wow I’m glad I’m not alone!! I think it also stems from my natural overthinking/worrier personality ever since I was younger, it’s just that the hormones being imbalanced makes me feel worse. i have hope we’ll be 100% eventually!

I hear you and yes I've also had those questions. Loving people isn't always about "feeling" , you just know you love them. so put it this way, before my period I feel so brave and strong lik I can face anything and live.... after my period on some months I feel insecure and don't want to be separated from my loved ones. and worry that something will happen to them and ill have no one.... its stupid. I take advantage of those times to enjoy and cherish every moment, be really present when i'm with them and make mental notes of their smiles and twinkling eyes and how much I love them in that moment....how blessed I am to be sharing life with these amazing people. I've decided to approach each emotional stage with a positive, even the bad days, I remind myself its going to get better and keep busy with things that make me feel good

Thank you for writing this!!! I definitely needed to read that especially since I’ve been doubting so much lately. We just have to remember this too shall pass!

Exactly right... this too shall pass. Remember also that you not where you were when all this weird stuff started..... you might not even remember how you felt in the beginning, I recall the state I was in but i'm starting to forget the intensity of what I went through. That's the beauty about our body, and time. its easy to focus on the bad feelings now and think we haven't made progress but if we get queit for a bit and look back we will see just how much progress we've made.
I felt that "numb" feeling ON the pill. about a week before my pill ended each month I would question that lack of "in love" feelings towards my hubby,especailly because as a newly wed I knew I should feel like i'm waking on cloud 9 but I felt indifferent. Things are different now.

I’m glad to see you’ve made progress! I have to say, everyone’s posts have helped me so much these past 11 months and it’s such a relief knowing I’m not alone in this. Even if it takes a long time to fully recover, I can always remember that I’m not the only one going through this. I have my good days and my bad days but I know that eventually I’ll only focus on good days :)

So true! trust me there are days where I still think "i wish this had never happened" I feel scared by the whole experience but in time i'm sure we will look back and it will be as though it never happened and we can help others along the way.

Amen! This whole situation has sort of traumatized me but I feel like it’s gradually going away.

Emma, this made me feel so much better. Its so scary feeling like this most of the time. Although last night I felt like those in love feelings were coming back, I was able to chat about my wedding cook dinner and hang out and felt almost back to normal!! I think I've convinced myself that I felt head over heel with my fiance 24/7 before this happened, and I don't think that was the case, like I've created this fake scenario of feelings in my head! Obviously I love him, but not constantly head over heels, more a fluctuation between head over heels and companionship love, so if I can get back to that I'll be so happy.

The mornings are always the worst, I've started taking propanolol again which seems to help with the anxiety and also the intrusive thoughts, and I've read a couple of studies which say propanolol can help with rumination and intrusive thoughts which is great!

Hoping to go back to the doctor and ask for my hormone levels to be tested, especially my progesterone as I haven't had that done yet. Kind of scared because I've been maybe three or four times in the last couple of months and I'm worried that they won't take me seriously! My anxiety has suddenly peaked, and I'm having some vivid dreams as well and I'm around day 12, which is close to ovulation so I think that may be having an effect. There are conditions called PMDD and PME. PMDD is an extreme form of PMS which many women suffer from, around ovulation and before the period, and PME is where existing mental health conditions are made worse at certain times of the month but I'm not too clear on that one. Interestingly, treatment for PMDD seems to often include taking birth control, or cyclical dosing of antidepressants at different times of the month. As much as I don't want to go back on birth control, in my bad times I feel like I will do anything to go back to normal!

Hi Seablonde, I'm so sorry you are struggling with ROCD .... if I may, how would you feel about taking natural medication to help with the symptoms. Most antidepressants and anti anxiety meds don't eliminate the issue because they don't treat the cause of the imbalance. I'm sure you would prefer to get rid of the imbalance instead of covering it up.... if you get a chance google Dr Jolene Brighten she is a Dr specializing in naturopathic treatment and explains what has caused the imbalance in the first place.... your HPA axis is not functioning like it should due to birth control and the supplements you can use to restore balance. GABA is a natural amino acid which assists with the OCD thinking and physical symptoms of anxiety... also look up adaptogens these will help with regulating your adrenal function.

Oh absolutely, it's something I've done a lot of research into over the last month or so and I'd much rather take something more natural if I can. My issue is that I'm scared, like, I know my propanolol helps, and because of interactions etc. I would have to stop taking it to start taking herbals. I know, it's really silly! I also am a bit scared of what happens if the herbals don't work because I think some can take a while before they start having an effect! I've looked into 5htp but not much into GABA in all honesty. I think I just need to pluck up the courage and go for it really! I'm UK based, but is there a brand of GABA that you would recommend?

I hear you , I was also scared to try any supplements incase they didn't work BUT they have helped tremendously ... not overnight... and I guess anything that works overnight should make us think twice. Anyways having said that, I'm based in South Africa so not sure about UK brands but the health shops should have a good idea. What I noticed with all this nonsense is that in the process of waiting for a DR to get back to me and getting bloods done etc . was that my body started healing itself. I grew up with a father that is a naturopath and the one thing that stuck with me that he said is that if the body is given a chance, it can heal itself as it knows what to do but it takes time based on how toxic our blood is. All of this is linked to inflammation and what you are experiencing is inflammation in your brain.... not sure what your lifestyle habits are but eating clean (whole foods vs processed) and physical activity like walking and jogging, cycling etc helps a lot...
The one thing I never believed in was vitamins because I never stayed on them long enough to notice anything. this time I had no choice but to be persistent.. so I started one magnesium, vit c, vit b5,b6,b12, zinc D3 omega 3 (which is anti-inflammatory) iron in the beginning as I was bleeding SO HEAVY the first 3 cycles off the pill. I also took cortisol balance by Medford to stop the anxiety due to high cortisol levels (stress hormone) which helped so much. no coffee no sugar the first 3 months ....

Ive been off 6 months now, and 4 months since I crashed and this cycle is proving to be a good one....

I know you scared but its worth the time to heal properly and know that you healing and not just masking symptoms.