Feeling depressed after stopping the birth control pills?

Hey everyone,

Today makes one year off for me. What a crazy bumpy ride it has been. I was on BCP for 8 years. My symptoms started within 1-2 weeks coming off the pill. My main symptoms were ROCD, panic attacks, nausea, depression, and just feeling numb.

There are still some days where I get slight ROCD thoughts, get weepy and cry, have some anxiety, and get irritable. But let me tell you , it is so much better than in the beginning. Every day through this mess I would makes notes on my phone about how I feel. I purchased a 2018-2019 calendar and highlighted every day that I had anxiety. I’d say from April 2018 when this whole thing started to February 2019 I had anxiety 80% of the month. It wasn’t until recently, March, where I feel like a took a turn for the better.

My body is still healing. I’m seeing a naturopath. I’m on bio identical hormone replacement therapy, and have been diagnosed as hypothyroidism through all of this. It is a lot. I still take some supplements, but honestly time is the best healer. There isn’t a magic pill.

Had someone asked me from the beginning if I would’ve stayed with my fiancé, I would’ve told you absolutely not. My anxiety was torturing me. But through those times I was able to realize how irrational those thoughts were, and how strong of a support he has been.

Stay strong ladies, time will heal all these post BCP wounds.

-Brea

Thank you so much, this is so awful I can’t wait to be out of this mess. That’s great news your feeling better I can’t wait to be at that stage. Did you need therapy? Or did you just wait it out ?
X

No problem! In the beginning when I was at my worse, I was researching psychologists everyday because I thought I was losing it lol. But I think what helped me most was just waiting it out. I took St. John’s Wort for those first 3 months and it helped TREMENDOUSLY with the intrusive thoughts. I don’t take them anymore because I’ve improved and don’t want to rely on anything, and I’ve been getting having less bad days every month.

That’s really good too know.
I’m still in my first 3 months
I have moments where I feel okay but it feels constant on my mind.
And makes me think iv always been like this.
Makes me feel so much better knowing people get through it.
But definitely improved from the first two months:)

Did you have a regular cycle coming off BC?

Yes, my period was regular after coming off. However, I have PCOS and now I think it’s getting back into an irregular cycle. It’s very confusing at times so I definitely have to go get my hormones tested

Thanks so much for the update Brea
That’s great news your doing better!
Can’t wait to feel like that
Iv only been off since Jan this year , so when people say it takes that long to recover it scares me but you all got through it so I’m sure I can too.
It’s very hard living in it and just getting by each day. And just worrying that you will never get better !

You poor thing, yeah it is very confusing, I feel like I can handle all the other symptoms just not the mental ones.
Posting on this forum gives me so much relief though, don’t know where I’d be without it.

Yeah the mental ones are the worst to deal with. Trust me eventually when you’re like 90-95% recovered, they won’t seem as awful as they are now. I know it’s hard to deal with the feeling of not being yourself and thinking you’re going crazy, but at some point you’ll realize that it’s all just your hormones and your thoughts aren’t you

It is very tough. What I always try to remind myself if a "setback" comes is that I have made it through some terrible setbacks before, I can make it through again. There are those little glimpses of hope/light. Just keep your mind on that, you too will make it.
~Brea

Hi Ladies,

I am really glad to have found this site. I have been on the pill for years and came off it in 2013 to have a child. Had no problems then. Two years ago, I decided to start the pill back for migraine control and took it continuously without any breaks. In October, we decided to maybe try for baby #2. I took my last pill the end of October. I didn't have a period until New Years Day and boy was I an emotional mess the day before. I was irritable and angry and crying. Then when my period arrived the next day, I was relieved that it was just "my hormones".

Background: I have a history of panic attacks and anxiety and have been on paxil 15mg for 20 yrs. For the past 10-15yrs, it has been completely under control.

Fast forward through the last few months and I have been tracking my cycle and noticed right after my period, when my estrogen level starts to climb in week 2, I experience anxiety. I read that this is normal. While it felt awful, I always reminded myself that it was "just my hormones". Following ovulation when my estrogen dropped, I would have a tearful day (with irritability and panic and extreme sadness) but then when estrogen/progesterone picked up in week 3, I would feel better. Then the end of week 4 when those dropped, I would be irritable, cry for no reason, etc again. Through all this time, I understood it to be my hormones. I increased my paxil (with my PCP) to 20mg to help and I have just been praying and hoping it all gets better soon.

Well, this month something happened... April 17th I became tearful and worried and depressed. I was thinking crazy thoughts, questioning my faith and where I am in life, and crying over the world being such a mess, the asteroid which killed the dinosaurs, you name it! Then on April 19th, my period started... so again I was relieved that it was all "just my hormones". I've recognized through these past 4 months that I likely am having PMDD. The problem is that everything I've read about PMDD states that symptoms of depression/irritability should lift within the first 2-3 days of a period. Here I am 11 days post my period and still having severe depressive symptoms. My appetite has been virtually non-existent (and I live to eat normally), my motivation is out the window, I am irritable, I am anxious, I am struggling to go to work and feel like I am faking it all day... I am starting to believe I am depressed and this is not just hormones b/c why would I be worse in the 4th month rather than better? Nothing else in my life has changed... in fact, I've actually been trying to limit my work stress and enjoy life more. (New Years resolution). So why do I feel this way???


Having anxiety, I certainly am researching like crazy and trying to come up with an answer. Afterall, how can you fix a problem until you can identify it? But nothing this cycle makes sense. Right now my estrogen should be high and I should be feeling good or anxious... not depressed and unmotivated. I literally can cry over anything. I have no interest in anything that once excited me. My poor husband and 4yr old son have been patient but they don't know what else to do. I keep praying and hoping God gives me an answer.

Any thoughts?

Hi, I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with all this. It really most likely is your hormones, the doctors/websites tell you how your hormones should be rising and dropping during certain days but you may just have an imbalance so it gets confusing. I didn’t even experience the severe anxiety symptoms until almost 4 months after coming off the pill too. Don’t worry, try to distract yourself and keep busy. You’ll get better in due time ❤️

So today I got my period and I am very anxious and just want to cry. I was doing okay this morning now I just feel weird and nervous about everything.
Been off bc since jan this year this is my fourth period since coming off and the first 28 day cycle iv had so hopefully that’s a good sign ....
I feel stuck it’s just an awful feeling.

HI there, thank you for sharing your story. i know where you are with you thoughts and your faith having faced that EXACT same thing when i stopped the pill last year in August. I didn't have any noticeable symptoms at first, slight depression which i just blamed on hormones the first month and then full blown anxiety, fear, hopelessness / depression by Mid october after my period. I questioned whether the Lord was even real, and if everything i believed growing up was indeed real or a lie. I cried over the mess the word is in, questioned the meaning and purpose of life it was like every irrational thought possible was dumped on me. It was scary to say the least. my perception of reality changed too... like i felt stuck in bubble and not safe anywhere except at home with my husband. i felt like everything around me was a dream. I don't know how to describe things but my mind was a mess.
After all the research i did i came to understand that somehow our adrenal glands get all messed up and throws all our hormones out causing a major imbalance , impacting neurotransmitter functioning which causes the irrational thoughts and emotions.
The fact that you feeling worse in month 4 is normal.... but you should start to feel better with every cycle. Some cycles can make you feel like you going backwards but you not actually.
I'm not sure when your anxiety started that you've been on meds for 20 years but if you look back, were you perhaps on the pill at that time?
Anyways, the Lord is with you, He has not left your side even if at times it feels that way its not true, He is the one giving you grace enough for each day... keep moving, this is temporary and TIME is what it will take. You can help with natural supplements to give your body a fighting chance but ultimately time and perseverance is what it's going to take... be patient with yourself and don't try to fight the emotion... if you need to cry then do so, if you feel depressed know its just hormones it will pass....

I like the explanation of your weekly emotions depending on the cycle phase you in, .... it makes a lot of sense. although i must say when coming off bc, everything goes weird but it gets better and eventually it will be normal again ....

Hi you haven’t posted here for a little bit? Last time we spoke you were feeling better.
How are you now?