Friday Morning Humor

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An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without
her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his
students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing"
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

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"CHEW THAT ..MR. SMARTA$$"
An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into
jam and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum and sell them to France."

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1. The Football Exam
Two football players were taking an important final exam. If they
failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play
in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.
The last question read,
"Old MacDonald had a _________."
Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed
to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the
professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder.
"Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"
Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't
noticed then he turned to Bubba.
"Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm."
"Oh yeah," said Bubba.
"I remember now."
He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the
blank. He stopped.
Reaching to tap Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered,
"Tiny, how do you spell farm?"
"You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."


I had one other one but I didn't think it was appropriate for here.