My girlfriend and i have been with each other for 4 years. Recently. while we're having sex she isn't able to get off. i don't believe it's me because we've tried everything. toys, longer foreplay. positions. everything. it get's to the point where she is just about to cum. and she just losses it. she get's frustrated and her clit get's really tender like she did cum but She doesn't have satisfaction at all. she just losses it, all motivation.that's another thing. she can really only get off one time and then it's too painful for her. could someone please help us this damaging our relationship..
ok first thing is everyone's different but in that situation try this while ur doing ur thing have her rub her clit
i know We've done that she just get's to her highest peek and she's about to cum but just losses it. no satisfaction or relaxation she get's stressed and frustrated
I've had a healthy sex life with boyfriends since I was 16, and am now 22, and I have had the exact same problem.
First of all, whenever she loses it, reassure her that it's okay. I know it sounds like a hard thing to do and she might say "no it's not okay" or whatever. But the point is, she will start to feel like you honestly don't mind (whether you do or not), which means her brain won't be going "i must orgasm, or i'll be disappointing him!" She might not realise her brain is thinking it, but it is!
Secondly, the reason it can seem too painful is because the clit becomes too sensitive. Personally, my clit is always sensitive and i can never touch it directly, i always have to aim a little to the side! And despite popular belief, the clit doesn't simply become more sensitive as it becomes aroused. It can start off mega-sensitive and stay mega-sensitive! Also, "sensitive" does not mean it feels more pleasurable. It tends to mean it is just too much sensation, and can just seem painful.
It can take a lot of girls a VERY long time to cum, which can be difficult to keep up with. If she is getting close, keep doing whatever the hell you're doing, even if it takes a while!
I have masturbated since I was about 10 and have always been able to make myself finish. But the only other person who has ever made me finish is my current boyfriend, who I only started dating a year and a half ago! It's very rare but I have learnt to enjoy pleasure whether I finish or not, and when I do manage it with my boyfriend, it's amazing! So far we only have one position that works. He goes on top (think missionary), and holds himself up using his arms for support. I raise my legs, bent at the knees. It also helps to have a cushion under my lower back/bum, to raise me slightly. With practise, you'll find that you're pelvic bone (between your belly button and penis) will be rubbing back and forth against her clit, but it won't quite touch it directly so it won't be overly sensitive. If you manage it, KEEP DOING IT as long as you can!
Another thing that will definitely help...find out what makes her excited. What does she do when she plays by herself? Most girls don't just rub it. She might imagine something or someone, she might imagine them saying something dirty, it could be anything. It's mostly about giving her mind something else to focus on. She'll still feel all the pleasure, but her mind will have something else to keep her feeling turned on and to stop her brain going "oh no, will i cum? what if i don't? argh i'm not cumming...grrrr"
lol hope i have helped!!
First of all, whenever she loses it, reassure her that it's okay. I know it sounds like a hard thing to do and she might say "no it's not okay" or whatever. But the point is, she will start to feel like you honestly don't mind (whether you do or not), which means her brain won't be going "i must orgasm, or i'll be disappointing him!" She might not realise her brain is thinking it, but it is!
Secondly, the reason it can seem too painful is because the clit becomes too sensitive. Personally, my clit is always sensitive and i can never touch it directly, i always have to aim a little to the side! And despite popular belief, the clit doesn't simply become more sensitive as it becomes aroused. It can start off mega-sensitive and stay mega-sensitive! Also, "sensitive" does not mean it feels more pleasurable. It tends to mean it is just too much sensation, and can just seem painful.
It can take a lot of girls a VERY long time to cum, which can be difficult to keep up with. If she is getting close, keep doing whatever the hell you're doing, even if it takes a while!
I have masturbated since I was about 10 and have always been able to make myself finish. But the only other person who has ever made me finish is my current boyfriend, who I only started dating a year and a half ago! It's very rare but I have learnt to enjoy pleasure whether I finish or not, and when I do manage it with my boyfriend, it's amazing! So far we only have one position that works. He goes on top (think missionary), and holds himself up using his arms for support. I raise my legs, bent at the knees. It also helps to have a cushion under my lower back/bum, to raise me slightly. With practise, you'll find that you're pelvic bone (between your belly button and penis) will be rubbing back and forth against her clit, but it won't quite touch it directly so it won't be overly sensitive. If you manage it, KEEP DOING IT as long as you can!
Another thing that will definitely help...find out what makes her excited. What does she do when she plays by herself? Most girls don't just rub it. She might imagine something or someone, she might imagine them saying something dirty, it could be anything. It's mostly about giving her mind something else to focus on. She'll still feel all the pleasure, but her mind will have something else to keep her feeling turned on and to stop her brain going "oh no, will i cum? what if i don't? argh i'm not cumming...grrrr"
lol hope i have helped!!