girlfriend of 5 years has lost her sexdrive

lots of nice posts here

ive been dealing with the same situation for over the past year. we used to have sex almost every day the first couple of years then it got to be about twice a week and now its maybe once a month. she came off birth control about a year ago and now she has no libido at all. she is seeing a specialist and has seen some improvement, but very little. she sees a regular doctor and a homeopathic specialist because she doesnt want to go back on hormones to fix the problem. we didnt have sex for about 8 months and now its been once a month for the past few months. she says she wants to wanna have sex with me she just doesnt have a sex drive. she says shes still very attracted to me and the times we do have sex it is really passionate. our work schedules conflict and we arent living together so the times we do see each other is all we have. she said shes started to masturbate more recently and that shes more in the mood during the day so i dont understand why she doesnt call me DURING THE DAY to come over. makes no sense.  i am so frustrated that i have gone back and forth on leaving her. i feel like i should stick by her while shes dealing with this, as it is a medical problem, but what the f**k, i have needs. i dont want to cheat on her, and honestly, im not even interested in sleeping with other women. i just want her back. we have talked about this extensively and she has told me that even when we do have sex she doesnt really want to and that it takes her a long time to get into it. that makes me not even want to touch her. why would i want to try to have sex with someone who doesnt want to. i dont want to pressure her so i refuse to even come on to her at this point. the ball is in her court. i really dont know what the f**k to do and its killing me. im pissed off all the time and when we hang out i dont even want to hold her hand. she f*****g told me she doesnt like to make out that much. im tired of trying to do things to get her in the mood. i give up. f**k.

HELL YEA I FEEL THE SAME WAY SOMETIMES ITS HARD NOT TO GET NONE BUT ILL SAY ONE DAY SHE GONE WANT SOME SEX AND THEN IT WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT BECAUSE SHE KNOWS YOU AUTOMATICALLY GONE WANT IT!..ILL SAY DONT PRESSURE HER AND WAIT!

I have been reading through these posts some of the guys on here seem genuine and others all seem to only care when their next lay is.  To me sex is very important in a relationship.  I have been there on both sides.  Communication is really important!!!!  Everyone has a different situation.  In mine it was def stress.  I started working 2 jobs and was tired all the time.  We moved in together and the sex became less  frequent when we both thought we would have sex everyday (haha yeah right) .  Life came into  play. Once we moved in together I not only worked two jobs but now had dinner to cook and a house to clean.  Then we soon later became engaged and things got worse.  Now he was less interested and I was now hurt because I thought I was making more of an effort.  It ended up now he was stressed about money and trying to get a second job.  I thought it was a load of c**p but once he got a second job although the was working 96 hours a week he was interested once again.  Then I became more stressed because I had added responsibility because I worked less hours a week.  Also I started having trouble with my hips (lets just add insult to injury)  we go back and forth but we always communicate.  I dont know how other women feel but if its a stress thing sex actually makes me feel better.  If I just give in even when i am not in the mood.  Depression is something different.  And pain well it depends on your pain tolerance.  I have been in all three places.  But what I know is when we do have sex and its about about 1-2 times a week it is amazing.  What I also know is if we had not communicated when the one or the other felt neglected we would be in a bad place.  If we let things go for years without talking about them we would not be having sex at all.  I also think because of the fact that we make a point to be very open with each other if we actually saw each other due to our work schedules we would have sex more.  Just communicate from day 1!!! and you will all be ok.  Most woman just want someone to listen and show compassion.  I know I do.  It will go a long way. Do not pressure her!!!

I dont know if i was any help but i hope i helped someone.

What the f**k does being a young, smart guy with a good job have to do with ur girl of 5 years shuttin you out? lol your a tool

This has been an interesting read. My g/f and I have been dating for over 4 years and it is actually me who recently lost my sex drive.. Now I know males and females are nothing alike hormone wise. I actually stumbled on this website looking for a possible solution for myself to become more aroused.
My g.f is nothing short of hot/beautiful/gorgeous at least in my eyes she is one of the most beautiful things in the world! so I dont want you guys saying i lost sex drive cuz shes an ogre lol

i did however break up with her or took a break occasionally because I was so worried about myself and what I actually wanted. Idk if you and your g.fs have done this... but it might help. Everytime we took a break (which btw was only twice out of the 4 years) has greatly helped me realize how much I actually love and appreciate her mind soul and body.

This might work for you guys too, i know it would be hard... especially if your against that breaking up and on thing (just dont do it so much) Well anyway I hope I helped you guys

Dont know how dead this thread is but Iv'e been having a ridiculously similar issue. My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years recently stopped taking birth control. Now getting her to make the first move in any sort of sexual situation seems impossible. I dont know how related to the birth control her attraction to me could be but it definitely seems like they are related in some way. If any one has had an issue like this or has some sort of advice regarding the topic itd be great.

i am the same way. ive been married for 10 years and it makes me feel really bad but I have no interest at all. it just left. I feel so bad for him but just the thought of it makes me want to run away. i love my husband . but ive been on antidepress but hasnt helped. he finally stopped asking for it. i got to get fixed not only for myself but for the man i love with all my heart. it hurt not to please the one you love so the women has a hard time not giving you any just as bad as u have a hard time not getting any.

Dudes grow some balls and break up with her and watch what happens next. She will lick your boots when you take her back. Women have no mercy when they break up with you so dont feel bad about it.It gives her a self confidence issue and she will want you more and breaks the wussy image you give off by putting up with her not caring about your NEEDS.

Your girlfriends are bored with you. Plain and simple. No scientific stress related bs. You became content with becoming boring but you're appalled that she doesn't want to have sex with you. Women want to look at a man and think, wow he's freaking hot. At some level we think just like you. Would you be fired up about your girl if she didn't have anything interesting to say, stopped getting dolled up, and stopped cooking or whatever you expect her to do? Probably not. But we're supposed to throw ourselves at men who are "nice and have a job"? On what planet is that sexy? Stop thinking your woman is supposed to be turned on by your basic behavior and do something that sparks her interest. Most women cheat because they meet a man who excites them, not because they want to get laid. She probably had sex with you because you made her feel that way in the beginning. Get that feeling back and she'll let you back in. Good luck boys.

you literally couldnt have said it better my friend...

Im female and this annoys me my partner has a go at me all the time about my low sex drive and that im always tired... yes I am tired I work have kids have two massive labradors have a house to clean piles of washing to do bills to pay and sod all time to myself! So after my long hard day you want me to put out? WTF??

Dude thats because shes cheating on you wake up man

Man I know how you feel mines told me a while back it was because her weight but I'm so sick of getting turned down I don't know what to do .. I use to be a cheater when we was together in the past but I had gotten so better since we got back together I just want sexural attention that's all and I can't get it less I beg the shut out her every night till I get lucky I mean I enjoy sex I don't understand why don't she all she do is turn over on me every night and goes to sleep before I can even turn her own shm so sick of it

If your girlfriend is giving you blow jobs on a regular basis, then she is willing to pleasure you.
Perhaps your approach on mutual sexuality should be adjusted. Are you willing to read a book or blogs about performing cunnilingus or - I recommend, The Art Of Seduction.

I've found myself in situations where after an extended period of time sex becomes this open expectation. When I began my relationship I strictly spoke and fondled around her curves and genitals for the first little while and then eventually focused on her bosoms, butt and vagina once I became "too comfortable" with our sex. This behaviour and this expectation can lead to consistently boring and straight to the chase sex.

Your girlfriend is very willing to please you. There must be a way to please her.