Have you ever had a successful friendship with a guy?

RunsLikeAGirl over a year ago

YES! That's it! That exactly it! I've had VERY few female friends (but the few I have are just so wonderful), but lots of guy friends. But yeah, it's the potential that makes me nervous.

Reply

Loading...

airehead over a year ago

That sounds so limiting. And boring. I could never imagine cutting off half of the population from being friends with me solely based on gender. Am I the only one?
I haven't done this on purpose. It's just worked out that way. I don't have any female friends right now, either. I think it is the transient lifestyle I lead. I really rather hang out with guys--my friends have always been guys. I'm not into the typical "gurl stuff". I'd rather go camping and hiking or watch my Spurs win or watch hockey.
I haven't "cut them off". I think moving has done that for me. Plus, we live in such a "small" community that people tend to talk if you spend too much time with people of the opposite gender that you aren't married to.

Reply

Loading...

shelee over a year ago

yes, several friendships like that.

Reply

Loading...

shelee over a year ago

yes. i think it would be rather rude to drop him because of that. one of my friends in college was very much attracted to me and i didnt' feel the same way but I really enjoyed his company. I wouldn't have dreamed of dropping him because he found me attractive. i was flattered, actually.

Reply

Loading...

kristin31 over a year ago

I think it depends on the relationship with your SO as well. Some guys just fell threatened, others don't. That's certainly going to influence your behavior in a situation, no matter how much you might think it won't.

That said, I've got a lot of guys as friends including a few people I used to date. My current SO is fine with it and we all know that nothing is going to happen that would even verge on fooling around. And as to the "you know they feel a certain way but you just don't care" I don't know if it's so much a matter of not caring as it is just choosing to not act on it. You can't control what other people feel.

Reply

Loading...

Guest over a year ago

I think it depends on the relationship with your SO as well. Some guys just fell threatened, others don't. That's certainly going to influence your behavior in a situation, no matter how much you might think it won't. That's very true. One of my best friends is a guy (whom I've never had anything with) - and no one I've dated has had a problem with it. But if someone was that insecure to be threated, I think it would bother me, since I am very secure in relationships. But, on the other hand, I have a friend who I know thinks I am his soulmate ( 8O ). I have known him for about the same amount of time. But just recently, I decided I can't continue a friendship with him, because it's not fair to him. Someone very smart pointed out that he will still think he has a chance, like in Dumb and Dumber - "I wouldn't go out with you in a million years!" "That means I STILL HAVE A CHANCE!!!" :P Also, the voodoo spell and staring at me in a movie theater were getting uncomfortable... I'm openminded, BUT...

Reply

Loading...

genie over a year ago

I don't think it's rubbing it in his face at all, really. If you were purposely encouraging him, like for your own ego or something like that, and then acting like, "oh but I am so not interested in you" then you would be rubbing it in his face. But I don't see you doing that at all, so like you said in your other post, it's on him if he has a crush on you and he has to figure out how to deal with it. If it gets hairy later on and YOU feel uncomfortable or he does decide to act on it, then I'd bail, but if you really like him as a buddy and enjoy hanging out with him or whatever, I see nothing wrong with it. Just MHO.

Reply

Loading...

genie over a year ago

So inquiring minds wanna know (and nosy ones too)...whatcha gonna do, RLAG?

Reply

Loading...

Gogirlgo over a year ago

I agree; you can't help how others feel but you can't trade on it to stoke your own ego either. You can be friends with men whether you're single or not. But I think if you're single it's easier for a guy to misinterpret some interactions.

Reply

Loading...

RunsLikeAGirl over a year ago

Well, since you asked...
I've decided to keep doing what I'm doing. It's not a problem...yet. I really don't think I'm leading him on in any way, and I can't really be any more clear to him about my happy situation with my boyfriend. The boyfriend seems to be ok with it, so...I'm not going to worry about it until something comes up, so to speak.

Reply

Loading...

genie over a year ago

Well, since you asked...
I've decided to keep doing what I'm doing. It's not a problem...yet. I really don't think I'm leading him on in any way, and I can't really be any more clear to him about my happy situation with my boyfriend. The boyfriend seems to be ok with it, so...I'm not going to worry about it until something comes up, so to speak.

Cool!!!

Reply

Loading...