I wonder why once again I lie torturd in the bowls of withdrawls ugly cluth. Is this my desiny and if it is it better damb be time for a new chapter. I have money I honestly don't want drugs. I get confused and glorify the high.....hahahaa, They should call it low cause it will bring you lower than you ever thought imaginable. I guess "wanna come get lower than you ever want with me?" Does not hold the same lure. I was living in sobriety once before a last set of relapses and I rember feeling lucky that I was an addict. It gave me an outlook that only other addicts could grab it was a second chance and I laughed, boy did I laugh when it was funny or not. I guess the answers are in me just helps to have someone guiede me through this for I am alone. And I'm a tough little girl but when it plays tricks on my mind and i find myself so far from who I am I get scared. And since so hard to do anything it's nice to be told what to do. thank you all........I'll Hold on tonight Georgia might be hard but that I got.
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And you are not alone, even if you don't know it, many people are rooting for you!
What were you into, Pills, or harder stuff? Might be able to let you know what to expect coming up...
One more upbeat song for ya, Go to youtube, look for KCRW, Ane Brun, Do you Remember, a really good performance.
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Try to see if you can find some kratom. Smoke shops can carry it, I would say to get the powdered leaf if you can. If it is not "enhanced" take 3 caps. If it is enhanced, try just one wait 15 min and see if it helps, this can stop the bad WD's right away.
Some more music for you, got to livefromdarylshouse.com/currentep.html?ep_id=35
Check out the vids they have on there, some more really good music. I really like the sets with Fitz and the tantrums as well.
Hang in there!
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Our personal world is really small. Our views and beliefs, feelings, emotions, etc. are based on the environment we find ourselves in at any given time, it is hard to recognize this and realize that it will and always does change. Think of it as walking around in the dark, with a flashlight shining down from above you, you only get to see what is near you, in your little circle of light. This view will stay the same unless you start to venture out down different paths.
Think back to times before addiction, now compare it to the present. Like you said before, you really can’t appreciate it unless you have been down that road. That feeling of relief, of new beginnings, comes with getting free of the hold the drug has on you. It is knowing (and remembering) that there is so much more in this world than it. That is what keeps driving me to stay free.
The world is a beautiful, horrible, indifferent, and an amazing place. I feel my role is to see it, as it is.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a passing stranger, he said two things; “You know we all have our issues, you’re not alright, I’m not alright, but that’s alright, because so does everybody else.” Then he said “Remember, the darkest part of night, is just before dawn”.
I met this guy in the Airport in Chicago, waiting on a connecting flight. He was an older guy, but not very old, I would say he was in his early 60’s, and he was writing things down in this little note book he had. I was traveling home, for a family emergency concerning my brother (who was an H addict and eventually lost the fight with it) and this guy could tell I was disturbed. We struck up a conversation, and he would stop every now and then and write stuff in his note book. I finally asked him what he was writing down, and he said he was remembering our meeting. He said that he had Alzheimer’s and would forget things so he would write them down in his notebook, to help jog his memory.
I looked at his carry-on bag and saw he had dozens and dozens of notebooks with different dates and times written on them. I looked at what he had written down from our meeting, the one thing that caught my eye was a single line, it said “two circles of light meet in an airport, and made a rainbow”.
You keep pushing down that path, start looking at the things that are getting illuminated, and know that there is a rainbow ahead of you.
Peace, strength and love.
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Stay strong, okay?
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Good luck!
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You all guys trying to gett of methadone,vicodin,whatever the drug is called and I admire that.But why are u going cold turkey?? If u wanna get of you f**** drug then do it right. Go to a clinic and make the detox ! Why Kratom ? the thing is not even enough exploited,informed,tested and so on...this is just another way to get easier off your drug habit. In my life with drugs i learned to stay always who u are. Your Ego,you must have always yourself,YOUR I ! Never go to far,so that others piss at you while u totaly wasted and lying in some street. I know,it's hard to control yourself when u r an addict,but with years comes experience.I am 30 now,and I know what leads to that and so on. I tryied 2 times to gett of methadone,I was in a decent rehab clinic but i never went to the detox section where they are taking your methadone from your body.your skin,your bones..and if u methadone negative they put u on suboxon. They wanna put all addicts on suboxon so they make money ! Why doesent they let the patient go home when he's clean on methadon ! He's a free man !!! He's on nothing !!! But NO...they had to put him back on another drug! f**** politic!
I made my choice,my choice is methadone for life so i can function normal as a person,have a job and get married :)
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