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are your feelings easily hurt?

I've learned lately (last year or 2) I'm not that overly sensitive. I can be hurt, but I guess I usually let things roll off.

Last night I hurt a friend of mine completely unintentionally, and now I feel like poo. Yet...the analytical side of me says its not wholly my fault. Are you easily hurt? If so, can you explain? Am I just heartless?

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Health Ace
6885 posts

Other than on the internet, like here, I feel that most times we feel hurt it was not intentional and probably not even recognized by the person who did it. We all say or do things in our own way which may not be same way the other person would.

Years ago I was newly hired at the local navy yard in the electronics shop when a notice was posted looking for an instructor to begin a course in the training division. It was a huge increase in pay with a GS9 rating. Apparently it had been designed for a favored graduating apprentice so when I got the job the shop master was not too pleased and banned me from his shop. Part of the job was me going into the shop to check on the apprentice instructors training records for my students and we had to get the head civilian on the yard to order the shop master to allow me to do that. Do you think he felt hurt? How about the apprentice who was expected to get the job?

I didn't know they wrote that position for a favored person but my thousands of hours of experience as an army electronics instructor aced his 40 or 50 hours of experience assisting the apprentice instructor and they had to hire me. The apprentice instructor was out sick when they posted the job and I called him to see if he wanted the job before I applied for it. I didn't want to compete against him for a job he might have been hoping for for 25 years.

Another time they posted a job that required a ship masters license expecting a certain person to get it. Little did they expect a newly hired helper somewhere to have one in his back pocket with better credentials than their favored guy.

 

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I used to be easily hurt.

Now, I have to be hit by a truck from behind to be hurt.

It just down't happen, unless it is from my parents, and then it easily happens.

Nope, I have thick skin.
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My feelings can be easily hurt.

But, I usually get over it pretty quickly.
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For me lots of times it depends on who made the comment/action to hurt me. The same thing coming from different people can bring a different reaction. Holy sh!t that's deep, did I say that? :umno:
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i'm hurt when i don't feel appreciated or feel used.

my thing is that i tend to take things personally... i can deal with people that get mad about the dumbest things, but if i feel slighted (i can't quite explain it right) i can get pretty down/angry about it. i harbor some animosity for a few people that i feel used me in high school/post high school. i get mad if someone cracks a joke about coming over to play nintendo on the new tv - when i haven't seen them in a few months...

i do my best not to tease people, or be mean for the sake of it, or be irrational and unkind to people... somethings i just have offlimits, and i like people to reciprocate back to me.

i think it's because of all the useless things people get angry about, i do my best just to ignore those, so that when it affects me it affects *me*.

...not sure if that makes sense or not. i'm a proud person, i don't like having my feelings hurt.

i try to be respectful, if i'm not respected back - i have issues with that. sometimes i feel like i'm a bit of a girl about it (in the sense that i get upset, not angry), but i just want respect to be reciprocated.
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Over all I am not easily hurt, generally things just roll off of me. But if I am hurt it takes a while to get over it.
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sidenote -

i can get over it...

but i tend to harbor feelings. i'd be lying if i don't have a bit of a mental scorecard of people that hurt me - i don't want to be around people like that.

i carry a few grudges (most well deserved).
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i can't handle people that are fine 5 minutes after they were mad... i figure if you can get over it that fast, then you probably shouldn't have been that mad in the first place.
i get a bit of that with the g/f, i'll let it go, let it go, let it go, until when i'm actually upset. then she's better, and i'm still licking my wounds.
jmiller - i don't mind a bit of ribbing. i just stopped teasing in high school because i didn't really like getting it y'know? good friends should be able to joke around about things.
my close friends respect that. even if they tease the hell out of each other.
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i can't handle people that are fine 5 minutes after they were mad... i figure if you can get over it that fast, then you probably shouldn't have been that mad in the first place.
i get a bit of that with the g/f, i'll let it go, let it go, let it go, until when i'm actually upset. then she's better, and i'm still licking my wounds.
jmiller - i don't mind a bit of ribbing. i just stopped teasing in high school because i didn't really like getting it y'know? good friends should be able to joke around about things.
my close friends respect that. even if they tease the hell out of each other.
Sometimes we just realize it's better to get over it than let it stew...
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Sometimes we just realize it's better to get over it than let it stew...
it's hard when i try to get over it *before* getting mad about it (re: i try not to get mad in the first place), and then have to deal with the person that went ahead and reacted and freaked out and expected me to be ok with it after - now that they feel better... a guy can only be so patient :)
it's just my view that if you have a reason to be mad, then that's fine. but if you're going to flip out and be fine 2 minutes later... what was the point?
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Sometimes I think men have the right idea. Beat the c**p out of each other and be best friends 5 minutes later. Women, stew and stew and stew and hate each other forever because they wore the same shirt to the movies 3 years earlier.

Yep, men have the right idea. I'd rather take a beating than lose a friend over something stupid.

I'm more guy inside, I think.

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see that is how I am if I get upset about something. It is always better to let me be for 5 minutes and I will be ok. But hurt is a different story.
upset and hurt are different ones... definately.
i'll pester the hell out of my girlfriend until she finally realizes she's just being angry for no reason. but if she's actually hurt, then that's different.
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Yeah, I kind of feel its unhealthy to dwell on these things. It seems to me people almost never intentionally hurt people. Accept it for what it is and move on, there is much more of life to be lived.
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many things are taken out of context either because people speak before they think through the way their words will sound, or they are just stupid. Most people have only good in their herat, then there is my ex, the cheating dog.

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