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A little background to my story.....I have been taking pain meds roughly from the age of 20 til now 29. Up until the past two years they have been spriatically and just would take them if one of my friends were to give me their script. Never had any form of addiction or dependacy what so ever. Honestly I thought I was invincible. I was taking your standard hydros you'd get from a wisdom tooth removale (coincidentaly is how I realized my love for them). It wasn't til I found oxi codone that things slowly spirled out of control. As the other pills I started out recreationaly but since I had a strong conect I was able to get them at any point. I stared out taking oxy 5's four times a day. I know that sounds like a little bit but its were it starts. I honestly enjoyed them, truth be told I still do. I have no need for them except they make me happy, which makes my situation rough. It wasn't until a break-up with a girlfriend that things started getting really bad. I started taking them at work and anything else I was doing. I did nothing without being "high", it just seemed to mask the pain and makes things around me better. Then one day my "guy" ran dry and wasnt going to ever get anymore. No big deal right? Wrong I went one day without taking a pill and I thought my life was over. I was withdrawing and had no idea what was going on. I started reading things about pills on the internet and I got freaked out. I went to get help from a doctor and all he gave me was some anti depresents. This was after being laughed at at the Methodone Clinic for not doing enough. Nobody took it seriously. I got a therapist and not ever her thought it was an issue....Which brings me to today, now i'm doing roughly 3 30's a day and as it may not seem it be a lot but it controls my life. I can't pay my bills bc of the amounts of money I'm spending and my new relationship is failing bc of my action although she has no idea. I'm tired of going into panice mode everytime my "guy" goes dry and I can't get anything. I need to quit at all costs. I tried cold turkey but there is absolutely not way. I'm right now in the phase of weaning off them. I am cutting the pills in half and taking the twice a day, mixed with a half of a valluim to kill the anxiety. The best thing I can say is to just embrace the wds and understand the choices we've made. Nothing is free in this world. If is could give any advice to someone it would be ....
We can beat this, its all about planing how and breaking it down. I have made it a competion within myself. I breakdown every couple hours to see if I can make it. Take this problem minute to minute, hour to hour, then day, to day. Do not look and the end or you can get overwhelmed. Just focus on the goal you make within. Along with a few vallum and the right mind state you can beat thing like I am now. I am currently down to one oxy 15 before bed and that's it. My next step it to cut it to one 5, then none. Be strong and understand you are not alone.....
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