How to look older?

Just like many of you have previously stated, I am so relieved to see that I'm not the only one facing this issue. I am a 21 year old woman, but am told I look like I'm 16 or 17. When I get a drink at a bar, I always have my I.D. out and ready because I know that there is a 100% chance that I be asked to present it. I have been told by COUNTLESS people that I will appreciate looking younger when I am older but what these people saying this don't realize is that the future is NOT the present. What you are saying in hopes to provide comfort is NOT comforting at ALL. If anything, it's just down right irritating and is not helpful in the least. When people ask me my age, I automatically prepare myself for the "No way!", "You've got to be kidding me.." and my favorite: "You're lying" comments. In the beginning, I didn't find it too difficult to deal with, but now that I've dealt with these comments one after another for years on end, I'm tempted to be rude when approached by these insensitive, mindless, inconsiderate people. For example, if a 30 year old woman tells me I look like I'm 16, I want to respond by saying, "And you're around 50, right?" My brother just turned 19 last month and I turn 22 in about 6. Everyone thinks I'm the LITTLE sister and it drives me insane. I visited him on his college campus the other week and his friend approached him after I had left and asked him, "Hey man, what were you doing hanging out with that 16 year old?". I don't feel like a woman. I work at Starbucks (you must be at least 17 to work at my store) and when I have customers ask me how old you have to be to work there, they respond, "Really? How are you working here then?" I feel like a child, because I am treated like one. I've been a legal adult for more than 3 years now, but look like jail bait. I feel like a girl instead of a woman. I just want to be treated with the respect an adult deserves. I'm sick and tired of being talked to like I'm still in high school, and I'm sick of people not taking me seriously. You'd think that it's common sense for someone to know that it's rude to respond with comments like "No way" and "You're lying" when they are in disbelief of someone's age. It's fine if you think someone looks younger than they are, but it's not fine to act like a senseless m***n and comment on the matter. It would be rude to tell someone who's 40 that they look like they're 60, wouldn't it? How is it that the same isn't applied to someone's who's 25 that looks 15? Is it so difficult to just respond, "Oh, okay" instead of "REALLY?! NO WAY!". You'd think that people who were taught manners would know how inappropriate it is. I'm going to begin to start letting them know, since they obviously missed the memo along the way.

Whew. I'm glad I found a place to vent about this.

So I read the 1st couple pages on hear and haven't found much advice on looking older. I'm in the same boat as everyone on here and am soo sick of hearing everyone commenting on how young we look. I want to look my age, 26, now. Not in 15 years. I want to date guys my age or older. It'll hopefully be great when we're older, but face it, we'll still have wrinkles and age spots and gray hair; so we may look like a young person who looks old.

I have tried a couple things to look older; heels and darker hair. I'm going to try tanning, getting a shorter haircut (although it's not wanted but I'm ready to try to look my age), and whatever other advice I can find. I'll repost later after I try a few more things out.

i'm right there with you. except you're luckier than i am. i'm 19 years old & people guess my age to be around 12 or 13. i get the same kind of comments at work, too. all the comments are very discouraging.

i'm so glad i'm not the only one. i'm a 19 year old female.. will be 20 in july. i'm very petite (5'0" and my weight ranges from 85-95 lbs). i'm told i look 10-14 depending on how i look that day (most say i look 12 though). if i'm not wearing any makeup at all & my hair is up, i'm told i look 10. when i do wear makeup and do my hair, i look in the mirror & think "okay, i think i look close enough to my age" but later on when i'm out, people still tell me i look about 13 or so. when i'm at work, customers constantly give me looks like "what the hell is this 12 year old doing working here?" (i don't think it's just my insecurity telling me that) & some people even say, "are you old enough to work here?" or "how old do you have to work here? i thought you had to be at least 16." i'm VERY self conscious about meeting people my own age, because i know they think i'm just my friend's little sister or something. i've actually had a few people ask me that. at school, i don't get noticed by guys at all, and this one guy in my english comp 2 class once asked me "how OLD are you?!" HELLO! i'm OBVIOUSLY old enough to be in college. and it sucks too, because i'm resonably attractive (unless i decide to go in without dolling myself up) yet i still don't get noticed by guys, all because they think i'm a little kid. i have a "little" sister who is 5'6" (six inches taller than me!) and 17 years old (2 yrs younger than me), but people think she's in her 20s. it's so hard for me, being the older sister, looking 12, and my younger sister looks 10 years older than i. people have been telling me pretty much my whole life that i look young for my age, but it's been bothering me a lot more these past 5 or so years, because i'm not getting any older looking! people have been telling me i look 12 since i was about 14 (excluding age 15; for some reason people thought i looked older that year, because i wore all black with combat boots that made me at least 3 in. taller & i wore a LOT of eyeliner. but i've grown out of that phase, so i'm screwed), but it NEVER gets old. in fact, i probably get more & more self conscious the more times people tell me how young i look. & like many of you have said, the usual "you'll appreciate looking young when you're older!" does NOT help. i'll worry about how young i look in 20 years. right now i just want to look MY AGE!
if there was some magic potion i could drink to make me look older, i would definitely buy it.

I am almost 30 yrs old and get told I look anywhere from 14-18 yrs old. I work in a public library so I deal with alot of people who think I'm working in the library as a student assistant.
I was in Ollie's with a friend who is only about 5 yrs older then me and had someone ask if she was my mother.
Just today I had someone make a comment about how well I was at working the desk already and I said I've been working in a library for almost 15 years and she goes there's noway you are older then 19.
I have gotten so pissed off about it sometimes that I will pull out my ID and shove it in peoples faces because I'm sick of being called a liar.
Most of the volunteers in the library don't respect me because they think I'm a kid. The screwed up thing about it is there is a teenager that works in the library a couple days a week and he gets more respect then I do.
I'm 5'1" and people assume that I'm a child. I have tried everything to look older and nothing works. I wear clothes that are older and I wear my hair down. I tried makeup before but it didn't change anything. It would be great to get some respect. there is 2 people that started at my work years after me and one which is below me but yet acts like she's my boss because she treats me like i'm a kid and she's younger then me.

I'm 23 this year and people think i'm 12! I am very short at 4 foot 10 and although I like my height there are days when I just wish I was taller. I get get asked for i.d everywhere, I cant leave the house without it.

I feel so sorry for my boyfriend, he gets abuse shouted at him all the time because people think he is a paedophile when he's out with me. He's even had someone threaten to stab him its that bad. One couple were going to call the police until I showed them my I.D! I often feel like standing in the street and shouting out ' i'm 22 not 12' just so we dont get those disgusted looks from people.

If there was a way to look older, I'd be first in line. I just want to feel 'normal' rather than feeling like some kind of outcast because of the looks you get. Ahhh damn society!

I'm so glad I found this thread! I am a 25 year old woman. I have a Bachelor's degree in art and currently studying to be a professional make-up artist. Lately I've realized that people think I'm 17-20 years old. Last year I got ID'd to buy cigarrettes (I since have quit smoking), around the same time I got ID'd at the supermarket to buy beer for a party (I live in Spain where drinking and smoking is legal at 18). I've always been older than my fellow classmates (since I started another program before going into arts) and I've struggled to be taken seriously.
I have been in a 5 year relationship and thinking about getting married. I just feel ridiculous knowing people mistake me for a teenager. Like another guest said it probably has to do with the fact that I want through puberty when I was 10, so by 15 people thought I was 19. so this now makes no sense, it's like I just stopped growing.
I do volunteer work and last week another volunteer said the same thing: oh.. you look so much younger, like 16... It really pissed me off. My classmates (whom are all 18-24) all thought I was 20 or so... quite imposssible having been in the University for six years, and living by myself all this time...
I'm starting to think this is being a problem with me finding a job. I do know I might love it when I'm 40 to look like 30, but right now I just wish there was an easy way to look older without ruining my skin or dressing like an executive. As a makeup artist to be I really take care of my skin, lots of water, hydratation, no sun, SPF, and I want to keep it that way, I already wear lots of heavy professional makeup while in class for practice so I avoid it when I'm out. I've also considered wearing more heels, but I live in a big city and I walk all day, so my feet hurt like crazy. About the height and frame size. I am also petite, but not thin, and I have large breasts, so I guess I look like a chubby teen with breakout due to all the makeup I wear in school...

Some tips I've read for looking older (women) and that I'm planning on using myself:

-Improve your posture, sit, walk and stand straight and confident
-Forget the ponytail (unless it's sleek and perfectly styled)
-Wear natural makeup focusing on your eyes or lips (never both)
- Go for neutral nail enamel (or the right shade of red)
- If your job allows you to, let them grow.
- Wear stylish clothes and flats, boots or heels, avoid sneakers unless combined with a chic look
- Accesorize, without overdoing it. A nice purse and a nice watch make a difference
- Try layering, wearing cardigans and bold coloured dresses.

I'll try and focus on young hip yet chic styles. I'm thinking about the looks of: Liv Tyler, Kate Hudson, Drew Barrymore. I just don't want to look disguised!

It's comforting to know there are more people feeling like me. Nala

I don't see what is so flattering about being told you look like a child when you're a grown woman. I'm 32 and I've been told I look 13. Honestly who in their right minds wants to look like a child? (Apart from someone who actually is a child obviously). My poor fiance was practically accused of being a paedophile! Think how that made him feel!

In my job my experience and qualifications count for a lot, and I have lost customers because they thought I was too young to have any qualifications.

I have tried everything I can think of to no avail. Makeup doesn't help, in fact I think it makes me look younger. The flawless skin and big eyes from well applied makeup can look very youthful. Since I was 18 I have been a drinker and smoker (legal in this country) and that hasn't aged me, so I wouldn't recommend ruining your health to try and look older. (By the way I've just given up smoking).

I'm lucky I have a partner who loves me the way I am, otherwise I don't know how I would attract someone my own age. I always seem to attract 15 year old boys. Men my own age think I'm a little girl. I've had men come up to me in the pub and ridicule me because they thought I was underage and pretending unsuccessfully to be old enough! FFS!!!

lucky my ass. there's quite a difference between being admired for your youthful-but-grown-up charm and regularly having your self esteem kicked in the nuts by being demoted into a cocky 8th grader. i'm a 22 year old guy and i can rarely get through any interaction with females without being called "cute" in one way or another, and no, it's not the good kind of cute, either. i once went to a concert with my brother (18) and his friend (16) and it was my brother's SIXTEEN year old friend who bought us beer because the guy at the counter thought HE was the only one old enough.
it f#@king blows. the only thing you can do is smoke and drink by the truckloads and skip sleep every now and then.
nah, just kidding. it wouldn't work, your friend would get tired of buying you cigarettes. seriously though, other than dressing more mature, and hair and facial hair tips and such, the only thing you can do is try to be more assertive, give out a vibe of confidence and "grownupness". but even that only works to a certain extent, and it's kinda difficult to radiate confidence and dignity while you're basically being viewed as if you were wearing a beanie and holding a giant lollipop. so pretty much all that's left beyond that point is being a d*ck to people who feel the urge to exhibit their mental immaturity by pointing out your apparent physical one. and hope you grow up and step into the "you'll be happy when you're older" phase before you become an evil leprechaun.

i fully agree with you, when people don't take you seriously in the first place because you look young, it's impossible to stay confident and be assertive any longer. It's so much harder because people will be surprized and confused and moreover, annoyed whenever you act like an adult and that's not what you want to achieve cause their reactions will only emphasize that they're looking down at you. Especially when the person in question is much younger than you, or at least much more immature. I'm 19 years old, and what I hear almost everyday is: WOw, you look sooo young, I thought you were 15. Now, I understand that once you've reached your 30's, you'd think: so WHAT, it's only a matter of a couple of years, but at my age, it REALLY isn't. You know, I've been through a lot of things at a very early age, i've seen more that the average 50-year-old, faced more difficulties. Whenever I see boys and girls of 15, I get very annoyed about the way they act. They think that everything comes naturally; their health, their unjust confident based on the way they look and not on what they'd achieved, probably because they haven;t achieved anything yet because they still have to learn what it is to fight for life and the things you really want. Now I explained all of this, I hope you;ll understand better how hard it is for me to accept that these careless boys and girls are often judged as older, and therefore, more mature than I. And also, I'd like you to become aware of the fact that i' ll turn 20 in october, so 5 years is practically 1/4 of my life! My best friend however (she;s 18) is regularly being judged as 12. While she is dreaming of having her own house (something most people of her age wouldn't think about) whenever she orders an icecream, she's the one to get mouse-ears as a decoration on top of it. It's really insulting. or, por ejemplo, when I'm having dinner in a restaurant, and I order wine, they ask my mother (while I'm sitting next to her) if she's oke with it. (in the netherlands where I live you're allowed to drink alcohol when you;re 16). Or some classmate would come to me and say: Are you REALLY 2 years older than me?! IT;'s not possible!!! While she's are still busy with lipgloss with strawberry taste, making fun of the teachers, challenge each other to give insolent remarks. hihihi what a lol... when you're still a kid, which I"M NOT!!

Thanks for reading. At least I feel a little released.

i am 22 nearly 23 and am always getting told i look about 12 im fed up of it. i agree with the comments on here cant people mind their own business and think about how it feels.

i keep getting asked if im still at school i left 7 years ago. it makes me feel like a little kid i hate it.

im 4 ft 9 and weight 7 stone 7

glad there is more people like me hearing this every day

I am also glad that I am not alone. I'm 25 (and a half lol), 5'1", and 110lbs and constantly get told I look like I'm in my early teens. I was offered my last children's menu when I was 20 years old. That's just crazy. Yesterday, I bought white out at wal-mart and the clerk thought he was being kind and said "you turned 18 yesterday, right?" *wink*, like he was doing me a favor by selling an under age kid white out for school. I told him "actually, I'm the teacher, but I know I look like a teenager." I get carded whenever I go out with my boyfriend....I'm used to it, so it doesn't bother me too badly, but I do prefer going to our local pub, where everyone knows my name and I don't get hassled.
I was a middle school teacher and I constantly blended in with the students, it didn't matter that I was wearing a buisiness suit. I had a handful of students who would daily tell me how short I was. It took everything I had to remind myself that they were kids, I shouldn't take their comments personally, and I really shouldn't snap back at them. The other teacher's comments? Well, that was a different issue. My position was eliminated at my last school, and I have yet to find a new one. I seriously think my looks play a large part in that. I have a master's degree, I have experience, I'm well read, and I'm articulate. I have another interview on Monday and I'm seriously considering getting my hair cut tomorrow to try to add a couple years.
I also get annoyed when people say "you'll be glad when you're older." No I will not be glad, because when I'm older, I'm still going to look younger. All I've ever wanted is to look my age. Is that too much to ask?

Just wanted to say hi guys, I am so so glad to realise I am not the only one out there who is constantly obsessing over the way they look thanks to the number of ignorant t***s out there! I'm 24 years old and constantly get told I look about 18-21. Ok so I can get served most of the time without being carded, but it is so annoying to constantly hear the same old"ooh you'll be glad when you're older". I dread telling people my age upon meeting them. I work as an event steward and have recently been made supervisor, it feels like a joke when i'm not getting the respect I deserve due to my "youthful" looks. I'm turning 25 soon and that just makes it worse as my looks aren't catching up with my real age. Anyway sorry to rant on but it's just nice to know i'm not alone on this one.

I'm gonna number to make it simple:

1. You're not gonna thank anyone for looking younger than you actually are anytime in the future. You can see people (when younger) who have looked their age and older, still retain youthful looks today: i.e. Tom Cruise. And now you see people who still have a babyface, that just look really weird: i.e. Macauley Culkin. Face it, being 35 and starting to look like a kid with wrinkles, you won't be thankful for it. The problem is not looking younger, but that you don't look developed. You still have a babyface.

2. It's not makeup, it's not hair, it's not clothes, so stop with these tips. Clothes can may reflect "maturity" but not older. It's like seeing a kid in a suit. So stop saying it.

3. It's individual biological factors, not genetics. I'm 23, I look 16. My parents' old photos, when they were 16, looked like their 20's. They still look good for their age today.

4. My hypothesis? Sleep. Lack of sleep slows development. So solution: never undersleep. How did I come up with this? My younger brother sleeps a whole lot, and looks his age: 21. I don't sleep that much as I should and look pretty young. Take this as you will, but I'll experiment and get to you guys.

Somewhere along the line, my life got flip-flopped. When I was in grade-school (5th grade or so) people thought I was older, used to get hit on by high school guys a lot, now that I'm 28, people think I'm 18-21. Go figure!

I'm constantly asked if I've graduated yet from college---yeah, 6 years ago! And for the record, I'm not 90-110lbs, like some of you are, I'm a plus-size girl, but short (about 5'1), so gaining weight does not help. I'm trying to lose weight now, but after reading your comments I know I'll probably be in for the 13-18 age range (but I'm doing it for my health anyway).

I'm a school teacher and when I taught middle school, once I got written up 'cause the assistant principal claimed I wasn't on hall duty--ummm, I was out there everyday, you thought I was one of the kids, you jerk!! Now that I teach elementary, I'm taller than some of my students, and at least they know I'm signifigantly older than them, but the parents still struggle with it. I'm constantly referred to as "baby" or "sweetie", but what drives me wild is when people who are younger than me call me that!

And you can ask my mother (who's 54, but people think she's in her 30s) if "you'll love it when you're older" is true: NO!! She hates it just as much that she's not taken as seriously or treated like she's young when she a grown woman, qualifying for AARP! So just because you age doesn't make the "problem" any better. I think from my grandmother's perspective (who's 81, but people think she's in her late 60s) it kind of mellows out because at least people know you're in your elder years so they give you that respect that comes with that even if they think you're 10-20 years younger than you really are.

I don't experience the frustration of being carded because I don't drink, but I experience the frustration of not being taken seriously at work or in the dating scene, where I believe I've missed some opportunities because guys thought I was younger. I've tried to ignore the few comments on the thread about "you should be happy/grateful for the gift" blah, blah, blah. I don't think people who aren't in our shoes truly understand and never will. Even the way people talk to me changes; their voice go up an octave like talking to a child versus when the same person talks to my younger friend. I think those are the times when you really feel like you're being treated like a child, when people actually talk to you like you are one---no matter how many degrees you have!

I think what gets me sometimes is when I forget how I appear to people and then they catch me off-guard with the "you're HOW old?" comment. I was just minding my business trying to enjoy life and you HAD to bring it up again! :)