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I'm at the 67 th hour. I keep telling myself if I make it 72 hours I'm home free. Not sure if that's true but I tell myself that anyway to keep going. I have to work today. Ugh! My head was hurting so bad last night my vision was blurred. My fiancé rubbed it for a while and that helped a lot. I just keep thinking "almost there, almost there"! My body hurts all over! I have been smoking every night to help with sleep and taking loads of potassium for RLS and it must be working because I've been lucky to get some rest and keep RLS at bay. Tempted to call off today but I know it will probably be better to buckle down and face life. At least I have a desk job so it's not strenuous on my body. Here's to one more day! Gotta take my vitamins now! Good luck and good day to all!
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I'm in the same boat as you Mable so don't feel like you're alone in all of this.
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So I figured I would tell everyone a little about my situation as I'm going thru this alone, and really have no one to talk to.  I'm a 40 year old father of a 1 yo and a 5 yo.  Been married for 8 years now.  I've been on opiatess for 6 years off and on (mostly on) with my worst abuse being about a year ago where I had a steady supply of percocet 10's and was burning through about 400 of them per month.  I had no choice but to stop for a little while because my supplier died.  Some how though, I managed to get back into using Vicodin 10's as a mainstay, and whatever else I could get my hands on as a filler.  Sure enough, I lost that supply line as well but again ended up finding another great hook up.  My latest supplier is just too sketchy for my taste so I've finally decided to call it quits and get out of the game.  The decision to do it was easy.  The process of, well, we all know is a different story.  I was used to about  10-15 pills per day at 10mg each.  It was bad enough to where I would wake up in the middle of the night and take two just to sleep. 

I had a great run right up until last weekend (Memorial Day).  I had gotten my hands on 32 of the 15mg roxies and had one hell of a weekend.  When Monday came, and they were gone, there was life...staring me right in the face.  I started a DRASTIC taper on Tuesday and I can honestly say I've felt like complete ass since.  I'm down to 2 pills per day and plan to stay at that level for the next few days.  All of the serious withdrawal symptoms have run their course I think.  The leg fatigue is unbearable at times but it's not as bad as the day before and the day before that, and so on. 

And so here I sit waiting for relief to come.  I think the best thing you can do is sleep.  Eveyday you wake up is another day gone and one more closer to recovery.  During the day I stay as active as I can just to keep the blood flowing. 

Gotta run for a few but I'll check back in an hour or two.

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Devil Anse,
You are not alone. There are many of us rooting each other on and we are here to listen or help if we can. I was taking them like you 12-15 a day every day all day. Ran out sunday night nd hurt until tues night. Took 15 Mgs. Took 35 Mgs Wednesday. And just 10 on Thursday and Friday. None since. I really think the immodium ad and vitamins helped a bunch. I actually feel good today. You can do this one day at a time. Sounds like you have 3 great reasons! Good luck!
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Hi everyone! First I want to say how much I love this forum! You are all so kind to listen to me and all the others. Its so nice to have someplace to talk to others who understand what I'm going through.
Supportof4, I'm so happy for you! They say the first 3 days are the hardest. Things should start to get easier for you. I hope they do. Devil Anse, thanks for thinking of me too.
I'm feeling pretty bad today. I've worked 8 days straight and still have 4 to go before I get a day off. I'm so exhausted! And my boyfriend was being a total jerk today so I went and bought some pills because I felt I couldn't handle my life today. Now I feel even worse. I hate that I can't control myself. I feel so guilty. I should know by now that getting high won't solve my problems. I definitely have some triggers that I need to address. Sometimes I just feel like giving up. I don't know how I will ever get out of this prison. I am so mad at myself.
Sorry to be such a downer today. I just feel really helpless right now.
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Sorry I haven't been around. The depression is setting in, will probably be withdrawing soon, very little left and the tapering didn't help much. I am going to read your posts and then call it a night. This sucks! Thanks for listening, I am gonna need this in the next coming days. Anyone find anything that helps yet? xo
Michele
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I haven't heard from anyone today and I'm getting worried. Hope you are all doing well. I'm still depressed today. Things aren't going so well.
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Where is everyone today? I hope all is well. I'm still feeling bad today. Very depressed. I will check back later. I'm thinking of all of you!
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Mable, sorry I haven't been on today. Crazy work. I'm so sorry you are having a hard time but it's just a stepping stone. In, you will beat this. You want it too bad to fail. I am starting to feel better today. Just tired. Sending prayers!
Michele, I honestly think that combined with tapering and the vitamins, immodium and lots of it! Did the trick for me. Also smoke a joint b4 bed. Since I don't smoke pot this pretty much knocked me out for the night! I drank only water and eliminated caffeine and sugars. I hope this helps!
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Well my regular guy came by a few min ago and waved a pill bottle in my face! Terrific! You all know how hard that was. I sent him a text fri and told him I quit. Apparently he didn't get the message! Grrrrrr! Have some respect a**h***! But I said no and couldn't wait for him to be on his way! I know I should feel proud and good inside but honestly I just wanna call and have him come back! Don't worry guys. I won't. :-(
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People say that staying away from people who take your drug of choice is helpful. I don't have that option. My mom has a lot of pain issues and she takes them (on occasion) and her boyfriend gets 200 a month, I see him every day and he's always been VERY generous. My coworker is in bad shape with addiction and says she's not ready to quit and my backup guy is a customer so I see him ALL THE TIME! So, eliminating the source is not an option for me. I did however, tell them all about my problem and asked that they respect my decision to quit. Of course they have been great. All except my backup guy who obviously is only interested in making money. Ugh! I really wish I didn't have to constantly be around these things!
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Omg! I'm so proud of you! I would never be able to say no with them right there in front of me. You are doing so great! Are the symptoms starting to subside at all?
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Yes the symptoms are easing up. My family support system has helped with the depression. Mostly now I am just exhausted in the afternoons. Yesterday my coworker was sitting across my desk talking to me and I actually dozed off in front of her! Lol. Luckily she just laughed cause she knows what I'm going through. I've been able to sleep so it's not that. Today I had a cup of regular coffee and it was heaven! But as for the other stuff it's pretty much let up for me. Mable, don't misunderstand! Saying no was one of the hardest things I've ever done and since he left I have STAYED on this site! ( even though I'm at work lol oops) I'm just glad he's gone! Last night I was standing next to my moms bed talking to her and she opened her night stand and there they were! All white and bright! I stared, and drooled a little I think, lol, cause my mom shut it quickly and apologized! Kinda funny!
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Hello- I've lurked this thread for what seems like 3 months now, all the while trying to kick my pills. I'm 39, single guy. I'm a chef, so I'm on my feet 16 hours a day, in hot conditions, with sharp knives. My knees are shot, the aches and pains are crazy. Anyway, my doc gave me 10/325s and 40mg Oxys to take. Now being in this industry of mine, I've seen my share of addicts and always thought I'd never get hooked. Yeeeeah, 7 years later. I just lost my job at a pretty high end restaurant, lost my benefits, so I lost my "pusher", his name was doctor. They're so quick to just push whatever gets them the best kickback from Big Pharma. F them, they get our money, we get misery. No more! It was hard as anything to kick, but for me, I had 14 days of absolute misery, and now 3 months later, I FINALLY feel like I remember. These pills steal your soul. You have to push through, because it's your life that's on the line. It sounds dramatic, but it's true. Life or slavery to a pill. Here's what worked for me: 1- others have mentioned this, and I found this to be true. No matter what kind of health you're in, get your vitamins and minerals. Centrum was great for me. I only took magnesium and potassium while I tapered for a month. I did a slow taper over an entire month. I cut every week. How much depends on you, I kept myself feeling like I had a horrible allergy attacks, the runny nose, aches, slight shakes, until my body settled, then I'd cut again. I jumped off. 2-during this time, I took the centrum, 400mg magnesium and 90mg of potassium. It helped with shakes and acts as a muscle relaxer, at night, I doubled up. Rls will make you rock like crazy, I ended up wrapped in a blanket, shaking, quaking, and twitching. NyQuil did not help me, it made the anxiety almost unbearable, I'm not sure why. Eventually I would take 50mgs of Waldryl (Walmart version of Benadryl), and that would knock me out for 5-6 hours. Ugh, by now, I wasn't able to go into work. 3- the worst was days 4-10 for me. Imodium, Imodium, Imodium. Trust any addict that tries to kick, out of anything, that stuff is great. 4 pills and it was like a fog lifting. I was able to function almost normally. Eat whatever you can, all the talk of nutrients, yeah, it's great, but if you're like me, you'll want certain things. Don't deny yourself, you're rebuilding yourself, you'll crave foods that may not be best, but do it. 4- once the fog lifts for good, get to a park and get back to nature, just sit if you're still sick, but get out of the house. Open the windows and air out the sickness. Look at the trees, watch the kids, listen to the world and try to remember what it was like before you were taken away from the world. Every single day add something you once enjoyed. It'll come back. It will take time, but you'll be amazed at how you CAN bounce back. Don't ever give up, no matter what, never, ever, ever give up. You are a warrior now, you fought a war against these pills and the mission is absolutely to win at all costs. Whatever your personal reasons are, you'll come out stronger, smarter, better. Good luck and if you believe in religion, use that too.
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This is so hard. I literally thought I was having a heart attack this morning and I am still on them! I sweat, had pain, this is awful. I know it gets better, I know it will. Has anyone heard of dopamine? I ordered some supplements and they say they help with your mood, enhancing it. We will see? Thanks for being patient with me and the posts.....
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