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I have tried to have sex 3 times, but the pain has been to much when my boyfriends penis tries to get past my hymen. I've never used tampons, so I'm assuming I'm still tight, but I don't think this is normal, nor the pain normal. Help!

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I am experiencing the very same thing!! I decided to have sex for the fist time with my boyfriend tonight but after several tries it just doesn't break! It's very very very painful and I was scared this problem only existed with me..
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hey, im 17 and my bf (also 17) and i have just celebrated our one year. god were soo in love, and im from a small town where if u have sex ur a huge s*** (i know its strange) anyways, i think that my bf and i will end up having it soon, and i am getting more and more ready, as is he. however, when he fingers me, he doesnt get far i it at ALL, and everytime i try to use tampons (which has been since i was 13) it hurts SOO much, once it got stuck and hurt SOOOO bad to get out. i know i should have done it when my flow was heavier, but im starting to think that tho i want to have sex, i dont know if itll actually work. i truly dont think he will fit or get past my hymen, which i know i still have. i could go to the doctor, or try tampons again, but he isnt the type to push further and further into me to break it... THANK GOD. so i could really use some advice on tampons, or how to break it b4 we have sex so we actually CAN have sex.. so plz help me out! i cant stop stressing, and at the hospital, my mom is a nurse there, and i dont want her to know about anything
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ok..so..I'm 18 years old and my boyfriend is 22 years old. I'm still a virgin, but he's not. We've tried having sex many times but my vagina is so small and my hymen just won't break. He's not The kind of guy to force the penis in either even though I told him it was ok...but honestly it was the worst pain I have ever felt so far. He's the first guy I've ever wanted to go this far with and now my dumb hymen is stopping us. I want to get the hymenectomy done, and my mom and I are close so she knows I do too and she's ok with it...but then I wonder what will be so special about my first time if it's gone? but if I don't, I can't see myself ever being able to be really passionate and affectionate with someone. What do I do??
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Same thing here.

Is there anyone who can answer this problem with ANY information at all?
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i have the same problem..i tried for two weeks long to have sex with my boyfriend but the pain was too much to bear, so i ended giving up after every try. i thought it was abnormal but after reading what everyone has written, i feel much better. does anyone have any information on any painkiller or whatsoever i can take to reduce the pain?
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ok girls, for starters your vaginas arent too small - they can fit a baby through!!!

my first couple of times hurt like mad but i grinned and beared it else i would never have got there! the pain does go away eventually!

the best advice, relax, use a lubricant such as ky jelly and ask him to go real slow! if you are tight it is bound to hurt!

you can break your hymen though sports, horseriding using tampons etc. even masturbation breaks it eventually!

you could try stretching it out (a penis will fit through then) by placing your fingers into your vagina and putting more and more fingers in - try this in a hot bath as you'll relax more.

i wouldn't use a painkiller - they probably wont block the pain where you want them to.

as for if you have it cut by a doctor - does losing your virginity feel any less special??? no it doesn't, not all girls have intact hymens when you have sex for the first time and no doubt it wont feel any different if it has been cut.

dont forget to use some form of birth control and relax and enjoy yourselves! you'll get there in the end!
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if anyone is still having this prob, im a guy. im still with the first girl i ever had sex with and it was her first time too. more or less the first time we did it i never thought i would get it in, im not the kind of guy that wants to hurt my gf but she told me that no matter how much it hurt her she wanted it. and ever tho she was in pain she told me to keep going so i did in the end she was pushed up on my wall behind my bed and i had one leg in between her legs and the other on the other side of her leg to hold it down but it got in.

and after the first like 5 min of pain she liked it, before we did it i would have swore she dident ever have a hole thats how tight she was, so it can be done....

any way i hope this helped... jest be ready for pain and be sure you can keep going till its in and if you have a good guy that dosen want to hurt you make sure to let him know that you want him to keep going becouse if my gf dident tell me to keep going i would have stopped i felt really bad when she was in pain..

well good luck and enjoy your first sex, and if you dont i promise it will get better with time :-D
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I have been married for 2 months now and my husband and I both waited to have sex until we were married. We still have not been able to have sex because it was extremely painful for me when he attempted penetration. Of course, this has been very upsetting for me and I had a gynechological exam done right away. To my dismay, the doctor said nothing was physically wrong with me and that my vaginal muscles are very strong. I did much of my own research on the topic, since unfortunately it is not talked about nearly enough. I discovered that I have vaginismus, which is the INVOLUNTARY contraction of the vaginal muscles. I must emphasize that this is a problem where a woman cannot control the contraction and tightness due to a number of reasons. This tightening makes any sort of penetration painful and even impossible. I discovered www.vaginismus.com, a great website on this topic and where I ordered some really good dilators that help to train the muscles to relax. I highly recommend doing as much of your own research as possible - please, please don't just try to "suck it up". There probably will be a little pain, but if there's too much, you should probably see a doctor to make sure there aren't any physical problems and to know everything you can about having sex safely.
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I waited till marriage to have sex for the first time. My husband and I had the same problem (it was not his first time). He is kinda large diameter, so some positions still aren't that comfortable, and we have been married 4 years.
What I found worked for me, was to use plenty of lube. Also I was touching myself, which gave me some pleasure to get my mind off of the pain, it also allowed me to relax so he could ease in. He also didn't like seeing me in pain, so I had to tell him to keep trying.
Just keep trying.
I thought i was weird, but now I see, im not the only one. Use methods to relax yourself, so you can both enjoy your first time. Be sure to have plenty of foreplay, and keep touching yourself so you both enjoy it.
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i have the same problem and i only tried one time and it hurt and i dint let it in cuz it hurt and i think its because i have small frame. My height is 4'8 and i believe i have the same problem but im unsure if my hymen broke cuz i just let it "poke." A friend of mine told me that I should let myself really get lubricated down there in other words letting urself really getting turned on that this will help have less pain. I didnt know so hope it helps.
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vaginismus is sometimes the case, but not with me. there is little research done in the area of painful sex. i couldn't have sex for a year and researched all types of options to help me. i went to my gyno and she said nothing is wrong, just stay relaxed and use lube. we tried for a YEAR (there were times where i thought he was going to rip my vagina apart). i switched gynos and the next one said it was probably vaginismus. i had already researched that and gone through the whole program using the dilators and everything. i told her i didn't think that was it. plus, it only hurts in one area and when i try to strectch myself out with my fingers i can feel alot of space after a certain point (which is not vaginismus, because all your muscles contract). she then gave me this pain killer that you apply as if it is a lube. it is supposed to numb the entire area. i have tried using the prescription for 4 months now and still...nothing. i can still feel the pain just the same as if i am not using it. what all this boils down to is my hymen is extra thick. i can still fit tampons through, but when it first breaks, sometimes it doesn't break "right". it will tear only part way. when i am trying to penetrate everything feels fine except one area and that is the area where my "extra thick" hymen is still intact. to fix it you have to get surgery. hymenectomy or something like that. talk to your gyno...and don't just take "stay relaxed and use lube" for an answer...especially if you have really really already tried that. do your own research and talk about options with your gyno. if they are unwilling to discuss other treatments...go find a new gyno.
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I had a doctor surgically cut my hymen and now it's normal and sex doesn't hurt at all. That's all you need, trust me! I know exactly what you're going through.
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I had the same problem. I was only able to put one finger inside, but after I slowly stretched my hymen over a several days by moving my finger slowly around, and then putting two, and eventually three fingers inside, I was able to use tampons pretty easily, and my bf was finally able to penetrate all the way inside with only mild discomfort.
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You may have a hymen that block your entire vagina or you may have a very large hymen and a very small opening. You should go to a doctor so they cut it open for you. If you haven't had your period yet but you have gone through puberty- go to a doctor immediately. If you have had blood come out of your vagina- go to a doctor whenever you feel it is time to.
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