Hello, please take time to read this because i can't take it anymore i always feel like i wanna go pee but all the test that i've been gone says i'm normal (KUB ultrasound, Prostate ultrasound, urine test, blood test) i've been like this for 6 years already i and still remember the first night i felt this, i was masturbating that time and i was finished and tried to sleep and the feeling won't go away anymore. i think it's because i masturbate too much and sometimes i will hold my cum and i know i'm a f*****g id**t i just keep on masturbating i'm just a 22 year old boy who masturbate a lot (i don't have a girlfriend and many friends and i'm still a virgin) and i always stay awake at night. There's even a time that i always stay awake until morning for many months, i just want to not feel like peeing for 3-5hours like a normal person and i dunno if i really have a small penis to begin with, i think that is the cause of masturbating too much. i was so upset when they didn't find anything because if the cause is "it's all in my head" that i wan't to pee then i don't wan't to live my life anymore. actually i'm depressed for so many years already.i wan't to attempt suicide(because of "other problems" and i have this kind of "feeling to urinate" after i just peed) but i can't because i'm a p***y . and i know i'm a f*****g id**t for masturbating a lot and staying awaking until morning (but when the first night i felt this i'm not staying awake until morning that much) i did take some med as the doctor said but i only bought 3 and i searched some of the side effects of it so i stopped it. the medicine is called "Vesicare" please if someone has this kind of "feeling" and cured it please please tell me cause i really can't take it anymore, i can't sleep at night and can't do the things i really wanna do and because of this i'm still in college. i'm just wasting money that my parents been working hard for. and oh i actually have a lump on my left testicle and when i touch it, it is some kind of soft enlarged vein and i notice if i hold my cum (for like an hour because i'm an id**t) there's some pain in it and a few years ago i had a lump just above my pubic hair but now it's gone and for the last 6 years of having this i only had the burning sensantion like 3 times and that's it. i still get erections though but not like when i was still in high school and get random erections during class. so please help me with this so i can finish college and get a job and tell me my mom to get home already because she's working overseas. if i still have this i would get fired a week after i got accepted please i'm begging you someone help me i'm posting this to many website that is realated to my problem thank you in advance i know what you're thinking i'm an id**t because i'm just wasting the money that my parents been working hard for, it's just that we have a family problem, i always get scolded even for just little things and i would get yelled at and worst is sometimes they would even put the blame on me for example my nephew tripped and my nephew said to her mom(my sister)while crying that i "pushed" him(because there's too many people and my nephew doesn't want to be embarrassed) but my sister knows that i didn't pushed him because why would i pushed my nephew? And in front of many people? But then again my sister yelled at me "for pushing him" and told me silently "just pretrend" we're at my school that time and the people around just looked at me like i was a villain. That's just one of the things that's been happening to me i just want to tell you that because that's just how depressed i'am because of our family problem i hope you can understand me why i always stay awake until morning i just watched anime, cartoons for kids, random movies and of course masturbate to help me relax(every single night) i hope you can help me so i can atleast repay my parents even though you know "family problem" i just don't want to be a burden anymore if only i could win in the lottery i would give all the money to them and just buy a gun and end my life. So that's all i want to say i hope someone can read this and help me with this and if so THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE! :) hope you have a great day. Godbless :)